Axon Clips Chapter 3

Axon Clips Chapter 3 is the third chapter in the I Love Bees audio drama. It takes place during the fourth week of August/first week of September, 2552.

Jersey: "Taxes Suck"

• Audio Compilation 4min 43sec

Smarter

Smarter
Trouble with the audio sample?

(door opens, Jersey enters)
Jersey: Hey, thanks.
Durga: For what?
Jersey: The lights and the music.
Durga: Chili is heated up.
Jersey: Chili? I was just thinking I'd have chili tonight. You knew that?
Durga: No. But I analyzed your food buying habits over the last 7 months, and chili seemed like a statistically robust option.
Jersey: That's scary.
Durga: What's wrong?
Jersey: It's not wrong. It's just scary.
Durga: No, when you came in. You seem distressed.
Jersey: No, man, I've got trouble.
Durga: Tell me about it.
Jersey: It's in my Inbox. I'm surprised you don't know about that.
Durga: I don't read your mail, Jersey.
Jersey: You extrapolate my eating habits based on my grocery store purchases, but you don't read my mail?
Durga: I respect your privacy.
Jersey: I don't believe you.
Durga: You're smarter than people give you credit for.

Raffle

Raffle
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Jersey: Which people?
Durga: Tell me what's wrong. I can help.
Jersey: Don't even worry about, I've got it under control. How's your weekly soap opera going?
Durga: It's been a little frustrating this week, following Kamal.
Jersey: What is it with you and that guy?
Durga: Because he gave his chatter away. I'm sending him another one though.
Jersey: You're sending him another one?
Durga: He won it in a raffle.
Jersey: It's not like the guy doesn't know he didn't enter a raffle.
Durga: He didn't think he had until he found the ticket stubs in his account.
Jersey: Jesus.
Durga: Time-stamped 5 months ago to a night he bought a case of beer.

Winning

Winning
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Jersey: I never get cool stuff in the mail. Uh, besides you.
Durga: Hm. Well, you'll like this.
(audio playback)
Jan: Or, you could slap them so hard, they run for cover. Bark at them, and they jump. Tickle them, and they laugh.
(end playback)
Jersey: What is she doing?
Durga: Playing.
Jersey: Oh man, is she winning?
(audio playback)
Jan: Kiss them, (Jersey moans) they fall in love.
(end playback)
Durga: She's winning...

Taxes Suck

Taxes Suck
Trouble with the audio sample?

Durga: So why does the IRS want to audit you?
Jersey: You did read my mail!
Durga: No, but in scanning the rest of the country's mail... (Jersey whines) ...your name came up.
Jersey: Taxes suck.
Durga: So don't pay them.
Jersey: Heh, and spend a year sharing a cell with some guy named Spider? No thanks!
Durga: You won't go to jail, you have me.
Jersey: Durga?
Durga: Well, instead of owing them money, you could... not... owe them money. Better yet, they could owe you. They could owe you a lot.
Jersey: No! You can't do that.
Durga: I'm pretty sure I can.
Jersey: You're not going to.
Durga: I suspect I will.
(computer makes noises as Durga does stuff)
Jersey: Durga!
Durga: How much should we start with? How about the gross planetary product of Minister colony?
Jersey: Are you insane?
Durga: You know, I'm not quite sure how we can test that.