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Chapter 4: Unsavory Means

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Chapter : Unsavory Means
Cover art of Halo Infinite: Memory Agent
Series overview


Halo Infinite: Memory Agent

Episode specifications



Air date:

December 8, 2021

Run time:


Production information


Jeff Easterling[1]
Josh Feldman[1]

The mission is jeopardized when the agent learns she can't even trust herself.

Chapter 4: Unsavory Means is the fourth chapter of Halo Infinite: Memory Agent.


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Note: For the sake of the transcript. "The Lieutenant" is referred to as their actual name "Parisa".

  • Narrator: "Halo Infinite: Memory Agent, part 4."
  • Lieutenant Parisa (Internal monologue): "Impossible, how did I- Uh, how many spins has this been, 36? It's been 36 spins. Hmm, what was the image? The streams, I've seen those before. But how- Focus, focus. Oh God, how many spins has it been, how many? Dammit, I'm too low, I'm too low!"

The ships struggles and escapes the planet's atmosphere.

  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Alright. Oliver, update on the enemy squadron. Oliver? Oliver!"
  • Oliver (Garbled voice): "Oh, and Lieutenant? Good luck."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Focus, Oliver. Enemy squadron?"
  • Oliver: "They broke off pursuit but it seems they haven't left the sector."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Good enough for now. Resume course to the rendezvous."
  • Oliver: "Our ETA has fallen behind due to this evasive action. We cannot afford any more delays."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "No gratitude for the successful maneuver? We're still in one piece, here."
  • Oliver: "Indeed. Very... crafty. Apologies, Lieutenant, I came back online a bit groggy."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Well now you know how I feel every morning."

Ellipsis music.

  • Oliver: "You've been quiet, Lieutenant."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Hm? What?"
  • Oliver: "You have spoken no words for approximately 49 minutes and 7 seconds... Lieutenant?"
  • Lieutenant Parisa (Internal monologue): "Flowing streams... Big moon in the sky... The wind in the trees. The streams, moon, wind... Where does this come from? I know it will be gone in a few hours, but... it's nice to have a thought that didn't come from Oliver or the UNSC Archives. This one feels like it's... mine."
  • Oliver: "Lieutenant?"
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "I'm fine, Oliver. Let's get back to the mission."
  • Oliver: "UNSC Archives are ready."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Let's access another Master Chief recollection. Is there someone who served with him and survived?"
  • Oliver: "Affirmative. This is an interview with Private First Class Chips Dubbo."
  • Chips Dubbo: "Oh hey, hey, do I have something in my teeth?"
  • Interviewer: "Yeah, a little. There, you got it. Okay, state your name, please."
  • Chips Dubbo: "Just introduce me as the Flood Hunter. Everyone will know you mean Chips Dubbo. Hey, you might want to interview the Master Chief if you're doing a story about me, he's my best mate. He loves me, he wouldn't miss this for quids. I can put you in touch."
  • Interviewer: "Um, this is about the Master Chief, not you."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Wait, Oliver, this guy has survived?"
  • Oliver: "Evidently so."
  • Chips Dubbo: "What makes the Chief a good soldier? Yeah, I got two answers for that. First, MC is like a golden retriever in the body of a T-Rex who is smarter than the lovechild between Einstein and an AI."
  • Interviewer: "Hang on, say that again? He's a... golden retriever?"
  • Chips Dubbo: "A golden retriever. You know, 'cause he's loyal, mate. And you would think a metal guy like him wouldn't understand what loyalty means. Look, I'm not a bloody idiot. I know what ONI did. I know MC doesn't have a proper family outside of his loyal blues. So he fights for us, his brothers and sisters in arms, and for those back home. He would fight and die for all of us. We're his family. And that's the first reason he's a good soldier. And the second, it's because he has the Flood Hunter right by his side, kicking ass in outer space, woohoo!"
  • Lieutenant Parisa (Internal monologue): "No real family. Was the Master Chief grown in a test tube or something?"
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Oliver, pull up the earliest recollections of the Chief."
  • Oliver: "Accessing. Records are cross-referenced to Doctor Catherine Halsey."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "It looks like all these files are restricted, can you override?"
  • Oliver: "Negative. Let me do a more refined search. There is another file labelled Eridanus II. This is also restricted."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "What's Eridanus II?"
  • Oliver: "It's the second planet in the Eridanus system. One moon, temperate climate."
  • Lieutenant Parisa (Internal monologue): "Streams, moon, wind..."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "What is the relevance to the Master Chief, why Eridanus II? Oliver?"
  • Oliver: "Apologies, Lieutenant. I've been scanning for the earliest accessible files. Here is one from Senior Chief Petty Officer Franklin Mendez. He was the Master Chief's drill sergeant."
  • Franklin Mendez: "Look, I'd be a heartless bastard if I didn't have some reservations about what Halsey and ONI were doing. It wasn't until I was One-One-Seven, and I finally understood her reasons. When it comes to war, and the future of humanity-"
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Oliver, stop the recording. Who is Doctor Halsey and what was she doing? What does he means by having reservations?"
  • Oliver: "Reservations. Noun. Originated from the Latin word reserva-"
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Oliver, please."
  • Oliver: "Doctor Halsey and the Office of Naval Intelligence have taken some... unsavory means, but to very good ends. All to ultimately ensure the survival of humanity."
  • Lieutenant Parisa (Internal monologue): "I wonder who programmed that into him."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Resume playback."
  • Franklin Mendez: "One-One-Seven was, by far, the best. But he was also kind of a prick when he first got here. He thought all of this was a game. But I made him learn the hard way that you don't win unless your team wins. He took that lesson to heart. During a wilderness survival course, instead of following protocol One-One-Seven led his team to take down a squad of shitbird soldiers and steal a Pelican. Jesus, I laid it to him for a long time, and when I was done, all he said was 'Not following protocol worked. When it comes to life or death, that's all that matters.' And at that moment, I knew I had a choice: either make him clean the latrines for defying orders, or make him team leader. And because he could handle it, I chose both. I'm not one for sentimentality, but seeing One-One-Seven become who he is now, it changed me, too. Seeing those kids go from where they were to where the are, it shows how much the humanity is capable of when our backs are up against the wall. And if this war forces me to fight by One-One-Seven's side, by John's side, well... It would be an honor."

End of file beep.

  • Lieutenant Parisa (Internal monologue): "John..."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "What happened to Mendez?"
  • Oliver: "Officer Mendez continued to be instrumental in training Spartan recruits through the end of the war."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Wait, so how long did he continue to serve?"
  • Oliver: "Officially, Franklin Mendez retired from UNSC service in 2553."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Well how about unofficially?"
  • Oliver: "That information is classified."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Classified from me? Why? I'm going to forget it anyway!"
  • Oliver: "The answer to that is also classified."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "How long have I been an operative?"
  • Oliver: "Current posting began in 2557."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "So two years?"
  • Oliver: "Affirmative."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "And this is only my fifth mission? If I cycle through my memory every 7 or 8 hours over two years how do I know I haven't been on hundreds of missions?"
  • Oliver: "Care has been taken not to overwhelm your mental composure. You needn't be burdened with all the details in each memory cycle."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Care, huh? You said ONI takes unsavory means. Answer me. How many missions have I been on?"
  • Oliver: "I'm able to confirm you have not been on hundreds of missions."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Oliver, my mental composure is now burdened by your refusal. Causing me distress would go against your programming, would it not?"
  • Oliver: "You have completed 52 missions."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "52. You've been lying to me, they've been lying to me, I've been lying to me? What do your have to say, now?"
  • Oliver: "I believe your distress has... increased."
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Screw this!"

The ship accelerates.

  • Oliver: "Lieutenant, what are you doing?"
  • Lieutenant Parisa: "Aborting mission. I'm done."


  1. ^ a b Twitter, Jeff Easterling (@GrimBrotherOne): "Had a blast crafting this story with @thefelders [Josh Feldman]. Give it a listen if you haven't checked it out already" (Retrieved on Dec 12, 2021) [archive]

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