Red vs. Blue Halo: Reach PSA: Deja View
The Rooster Teeth logo is displayed on the screen, and as the classic Red vs Blue opening theme plays, the screen fades into a view of the Red Base in Valhalla, where Sarge addresses Grif and Simmons.
- Sarge: "Men, I've got a big announcement from Command."
- Grif: "Oh great, I'm sure this is going to work out well for us. Let me guess, Sarge, they discovered a revolutionary new way for us to scrub toilets?"
- Sarge: "Nope. We're going home."
- Simmons: "What?"
- Grif: "What?!"
- Sarge: "Just got the message from Command, we all get to go home."
- Grif: "Are you sure, Sarge? Because if you're lying to me, that would be a really cruel trick, I mean even for you. And you're kind of a dick... sir."
- Sarge: "'Got our orders right here. They read: 'Congratulations STOP You are all going home STOP Transports are en-route STOP Thank you for your service STOP This message will now stop STOP."
- Simmons: "Did they send the message via telegram?"
- Grif: "Who cares, Simmons? We're going home! The war is over!"
- Simmons: "It is?"
- Grif: "Yes! Didn't you hear the message?"
- Simmons: "Yeah, I did. Did you? Because it didn't say anything ab-"
A Hornet lands nearby.
- Grif: "There's the first transport, shotgun!"
Grif runs over to the Hornet and addresses the pilot.
- Grif: "Are you here to take us home?"
- Pilot: "Huh? Yeah, whatever, hop on."
Grif gets onto the side of the Hornet.
- Grif: "I'm so excited!"
- Pilot: "I don't care."
- Simmons: (Sighs) "Grif, I guess this is it. We'll never see each other again."
The Hornet takes off.
- Grif: "I know! Isn't it great?!"
- Caboose: "Goodbye, yellow guy! We hate you!"
The Blues open fire on the Hornet.
- Grif: (Throws a grenade) "Goodbye, guys! I hate you too!"
- Caboose: "Aw, he's just saying that to be nice."
The grenade detonates in the center of the Blue Team members. Cut to black. The scene switches to the Hornet, now a Falcon, which lands in a grassy area. Grif hops out.
- Grif: "Thanks for the lift, soldier!"
- Pilot: "Get away from the cockpit, jackass."
- Grif: "No problem, bud. Why'd we stop here? What is this, some kind of way station?"
- Pilot: "Yeah, something like that. Bitch."
The Falcon takes off, revealing Simmons standing there.
- Grif: (To the Falcon) "So, where do I catch the transport home?! Hey, come back!"
- Simmons: "Grif, you made it."
- Grif: "Simmons? What are you doing here?"
- Simmons: "This is our new base."
- Grif: "New base? I though we were going home!"
Sarge emerges from the nearby Red base.
- Sarge: "That's right, Grif! Look, we're home!"
- Grif: "What?"
- Simmons: "Look! We got back our old canyon!"
The camera shows a full view of Blood Gulch, with the Falcon leaving its boundaries.
- Sarge: "Isn't it perfect?!"
- Simmons: "What do you think Grif? Grif?"
Grif tries to speak, but stutters several times.
- Sarge: "Look, he's speechless!"
Grif begins to cry loudly.
- Simmons: "Now he's crying with joy."
- Sarge: "Okay, well, that's taking it a bit far. Unbridled emotions are unbecoming of a soldier. I can handle emotion, but I won't stand the unbridledness!"
Grif suddenly activates his Armor Lock. It remains active for several seconds, then deactivates.
- Grif: "What was that?"
- Simmons: "That was your Armor Lock. We got more than just a new base, we got new armor and equipment too."
- Sarge: "I even discovered a new way to greet people."
- Grif: "Agh... ow... my mouth!"
- Sarge: "Hello, and welcome to our new home, dirtbag!"
- Simmons: "Come on, let me give you a tour."
- Sarge: (Chuckles) "Grif must feel right at home. He's already lying down on the job."
- Simmons: "See, we got all new vehicles."
Grif walks over.
- Grif: "Dibs on the rocket one!"
Grif and Simmons walk up the ledge on the mountain near Red Base.
- Simmons: "And the cliff is back."
- Grif: "Ahh, too high."
Cuts to the two on top of Red Base.
- Simmons: "And here's the tele... (goes through the teleporter and shouts) ...PORTER."
- Grif: "That'll save time on my commutes."
Grif and Simmons walk in front of the entrance to the cave near Red Base.
- Simmons: "And look, there's the caves!"
- Grif: "Spooky, yet very faithful."
They walk to the hole in the wall near the caves by Blue Base.
- Simmons: "And here's that little nook. I don't really know what that's for."
- Grif: "You can put stuff in it."
The two walk to a tree near the caves.
- Simmons: "Check it out! There's the tree where we carved our initials."
- Grif: "I don't think that was me, dude."
Cut to the two standing in a large pool near Red Base.
- Simmons: "And look! Grass!"
- Grif: "Everything seems greener than I remember."
- Simmons: "I think I might have left the sprinklers on when we left."
- Grif: "That was like three years ago, dude."
- Simmons: "Yeah, Sarge is gonna be pissed when he sees the water bill."
Inside the cave near Red Base.
- Simmons: "And there's the caves."
- Grif: "You said caves twice."
- Simmons: "Yeah, I really like the caves!"
Grif and Simmons then move to the middle of the canyon near Blue Base.
- Simmons: "The point is, it's all here. And just wait till you see what's outside the canyon!"
- Grif: "Outside the canyon?"
A sniper shot narrowly misses them.
- Simmons: "Uh oh!"
- Grif: "Yikes!"
- Simmons: "Oh yeah, the Blues are here too."
Switches to show Church and Caboose on top of Blue Base, with Church holding a Sniper Rifle.
- Caboose: "You missed him!"
- Church: (Irritated) "I know!"
Church fires again.
- Caboose: "Hit a rock that time!"
- Church: (Angry) "I know!"
Switches back to Grif and Simmons, sheltering behind a rock.
- Grif: "Should I use my Armor Lock thing?"
- Simmons: "No check this out! (Creates a hologram image of himself) Look what I got! It's a hologram. Pretty cool, huh?"
The holograph stops and Church snipes it in the head.
- Church: "I got him!"
Church shoots the holograph again, which flickers and fades away.
- Church: (Reloading) "Oh, dammit. I hate that thing!"
Church shoots at Grif and Simmons but the bullet misses.
- Grif: "Wow, that's pretty cool."
Simmons makes another hologram.
- Simmons: "And the best part is, now I have someone to talk to."
- Holo-Simmons: "We have all the same interests. For instance, I love obscure comic books and number theories."
- Simmons: "Oh man, those things are the best!"
- Grif: "Suddenly it's not as cool as it was ten seconds ago."
- Simmons: "And another great thing is that the Holo-Simmons is available whenever I need him. The only problem is that the manual says that if I play with him too much, I can go blind. I don't think that's true, though."
- Holo-Simmons: "Yeah! Wait... I thought you were the Holo-Simmons?"
- Simmons: "No, I'm the real one."
- Holo-Simmons: "You are?! But I have so many memories. My first kiss, graduation, my wife and kids. It has to be real! It has to be! What does my life meeeeaaaan?"
The Holo-Simmons fades away.
- Simmons: "Yeah, I forgot to mention, they become self-aware after a few minutes."
- Grif: "That was kinda creepy."
- Simmons: "Yeah... we should let Bungie know about that."
- Grif: "Sounds like he had a better fake life than your real one."
- Simmons: (Disgruntled) "I don't wanna talk about it."
Switches to Blue Base where Sarge flies a jetpack out of Blue Base with a flag in his hands.
- Sarge: "Ha! See ya suckers!"
- Church: "Get him! He went that way! He's got our flag!"
Church fires several sniper rounds at Sarge, all of which miss.
Switches back to Grif and Simmons.
- Simmons: "And look, Sarge got a jetpack."
Caboose runs to a Banshee.
- Caboose: (Entering Banshee) "I'll get him!"
Switches back to Grif and Simmons with Sarge hovering over them, Caboose in pursuit.
- Sarge: "Haha! Red Team!"
- Grif: "Where's he going?"
- Simmons: "Maybe he's taking the long way back to base!"
Cuts Sarge standing on top of the mountain wall surrounding the canyon with Caboose flying the Banshee in the background. The flag shows the Bungie logo written across it.
- Grif: "Hey Simmons, when you said 'outside the canyon' before, what exactly did you mean?"
- Simmons: "This place is a little... bigger now."
- Grif: "Big? How big?"
- Simmons: "Oh don't worry Grif, you'll see! You'll see..."
Sarge stares out at a huge and expansive mountain range outside the canyon.
- Sarge: "Now that's what I call a view! Where the heck did I park? This place is huge! I know I was in the Traxus lot."
There is a flash an extreme distance away, and a missile impacts the side of the cliff.
Screen fades to a black with the words "Halo: Reach 9.14.10"
An eagle screeches at Sarge.
- Sarge: "Get out of here, you stupid eagle! Find your own enormous map!"
The words "GO OUTSIDE THE CANYON" with "COMIC-CON 2010" and a heart with the Bungie logo below.
The eagle screeches again.
- Sarge: "I understand that I'm very high up, you don't need to beat me over the head with it!"
- The end of the PSA, the point when Sarge is holding a Bungie flag and Caboose flies past in a Banshee is a direct reference to the end of the 1999 Halo: Combat Evolved Macworld unveiling video.
- The pilot was voiced by Bungie's community manager Brian Jarrard.