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Axon Clips Chapter 4
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{{Status|Apocrypha}} {{AxonClips}} '''Axon Clips Chapter 4''' is the fourth chapter in the [[I love bees|I Love Bees]] audio drama. It takes place during the second week of September, [[2552]]. {{TOC right}} ==Kamal: "Totally Legitimate Business"== *[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject3.wav Audio Compilation 5min 35sec] ===Dark genius=== {{Listen|title=Dark genius |filename=ILB Dark_genius.ogg }} '''[[Aiden Maki|Aiden]]:''' Well, I'll be damned... Kamal! Just the guy I wanted to see.<br> '''[[Kamal Zaman|Kamal]]:''' Oh no, Aiden. Hey. What are the odds?<br> '''Aiden:''' Too late to get a [[list of food and drinks|beer]]?<br> '''Waitress:''' No, sugar, you got 15 minutes to spare.<br> '''Aiden:''' Okay, one for me, one for him. Whatever's good.<br> '''Kamal:''' I don't want a beer.<br> '''Aiden:''' Sure you do.<br> '''Kamal:''' No I don't.<br> '''Aiden:''' Kamal, come on! Hey, I like the way that sounds. Kamal, come on! Kamal, come on! Never mind. I hate drinking by myself. Have a beer with me. I'm buying. I'll buy you a burger too.<br> '''Kamal:''' Well...<br> '''Aiden:''' That's my dark genius of the vid-stream(?).<br> '''Waitress:''' Two beers, coming right up.<br> ===Drink the beer=== {{Listen|title=Drink the beer |filename=ILB Drink the beer.ogg }} '''Aiden:''' So, I have a friend who has this problem.<br> '''Kamal:''' No.<br> '''Aiden:''' Kamal. So how are your parents? I can help them, you know.<br> '''Kamal:''' I know.<br> '''Aiden:''' Come on, Kamal, this friend of mine is totally on the up and up.<br> '''Waitress:''' Your beers.<br> '''Kamal:''' From where?<br> '''Aiden:''' ...pays taxes even.<br> '''Kamal:''' ''(drinks)'' You drink this stuff?<br> '''Aiden:''' Legitimate businessman seeking dark handsome techno-guru for discreet assistance and long moonlit walks.<br> '''Kamal:''' I hate Earth beer.<br> '''Aiden:''' And like I said, this thing with your parents? That's where I come in.<br> '''Kamal:''' Look, the last time I tried to help you, I had half the--<br> '''Aiden:''' The beer gets better after a few sips, Kamal, I promise. And you know what, its all you've got.<br> '''Kamal:''' Why do you keep asking me? Does Sophia talk about my--<br> '''Aiden:''' ''(forcefully)'' Drink the beer, Kamal.<br> '''Kamal:''' ''(drinks)'' What kind of business?<br> ===Knee caps=== {{Listen|title=Knee caps |filename=ILB Knee caps.ogg }} '''Aiden:''' Welcome to the tastefully appointed security control room. The nerve center if you will, of the [[Apollonian Temple Casino]]. My name is Aiden Maki--<br> '''[[Forihoff|Mr. F]]:''' --Cut the crap, Aiden.<br> '''Aiden:''' ...And I'll be your in-flight host this evening.<br> '''Mr. F:''' You can see the guys you want on monitors 3, 11 and 16. So remind me again, why can't we break these bastards' knees, and drop them in a canal where the freaking sewer crabs eat?<br> '''Aiden:''' Mr. F, it just makes your business... your ''totally legitimate tax-paying business''... look bad when college kids start turning up all dead and everything.<br> '''Kamal:''' Aiden!<br> '''Aiden:''' Kamal is going to take care of the situation.<br> '''Kamal:''' Aiden?<br> '''Aiden:''' What?<br> '''Kamal:''' I'm not doing this.<br> '''Aiden:''' Not doing what?<br> '''Kamal:''' Not doing anything involving knee caps, or canals, or...<br> '''Mr. F:''' Oh, this is touching<br> '''Kamal:''' ...decomposing bodies.<br> ===Hard bargain=== {{Listen|title=Hard bargain |filename=ILB Hard bargain.ogg }} '''Aiden:''' Excuse us, Mr. F. ''(to Kamal)'' All the man wants to find out is what they're doing.<br> '''Kamal:''' So he can what, write his memoirs? You said this was all legal!<br> '''Aiden:''' I haven't asked you to do anything illegal, have I?<br> '''Kamal:''' Didn't you hear what he said? He was--<br> '''Aiden:''' --But the whole killing thing will only happen if you don't help. And even that's worst-case scenario.<br> '''Mr. F:''' Actually, that wouldn't be the worst case. The worst case would be if we went down to--<br> '''Aiden:''' No-no-no-no... Just hear me out, Kamal. Mr.F shows you what they're doing, and you tell him how they're doing it.<br> '''Kamal:''' Okay, but no kneecaps right? No canals... just, explanations.<br> '''Aiden:''' Mr.F?<br> '''Mr. F:''' Explanations are nice.<br> '''Kamal:''' And if I do this I want visas. No more happy talk, I want my family on their way here and I want it now!<br> '''Aiden:''' Whew! You drive a hard bargain, my friend.<br> '''Kamal/Mr. F:''' Cut the crap, Aiden!<br> ===In each pit=== {{Listen|title=In each pit |filename=ILB_In_each_pit.ogg }} '''Aiden:''' Okay, from here we can monitor the whole casino floor.<br> '''Mr. F:''' See the blackjack tables here. There's 6 of them in each pit, and the managers rotate the dealers every 20 minutes.<br> '''Aiden:''' The 5 people highlighted here are counting cards.<br> '''Kamal:''' How do you know they're counting cards?<br> '''Mr. F:''' Because they win too much.<br> '''Aiden:''' The question is, ''how'' are they cheating?<br> '''Mr. F:''' They don't stay at the same table. They don't move around in any predictable pattern. We could just take them off the tables and leave them in a ditch. Why did you say we shouldn't do that again?<br> '''Aiden:''' But, it would really be better if they understood how they were, uh...<br> '''Mr. F:''' ...screwing me. ===Twenty percent=== {{Listen|title=Twenty percent |filename=ILB_Twenty_percent.ogg }} '''Mr. F:''' We've got archives of all their plays in the last 10 days. Figure out how they're screwing me...<br> '''Aiden:''' Whaddaya say?<br> '''Mr. F:''' Figure it out, please...?<br> '''Kamal:''' I think he was talking to me.<br> '''Aiden:''' See this number? That's how much we figure these kids have taken out of the casino.<br> '''Mr. F:''' You get it back for me, 20% of its yours.<br> '''Kamal:''' Oh, wow...<br> '''Aiden:''' Trust me. If all these guys lose is their money, you'll be doing them a huge favor.<br> '''Mr. F:''' Trust him.<br> '''Aiden:''' Oh, check out table 9. Camera's looking right down her dress!<br> ===Uvular implants=== {{Listen|title=Uvular implants |filename=ILB_Uvular_implants.ogg }} '''Kamal:''' Thanks for the ride<br> '''[[Sophia Bossedon|Sophia]]:''' No problem, Aiden gets these business emergencies sometimes.<br> '''Kamal:''' I'm exhausted...<br> '''Sophia:''' Did I see a new chatter tonight?<br> '''Kamal:''' Yeah, I won it in a raffle. It's fine too, makes my old one look like a payphone.<br> '''Sophia:''' A payphone?<br> '''Kamal:''' Ancient piece of crappy hardware, half of them wouldn't even take incoming calls, no GPS... never mind.<br> '''Sophia:''' Aiden was getting a little worried. He promised Forihoff he would figure out what those guys were doing, but he was beginning to have doubts.<br> '''Kamal:''' Oh, the casino, yeah. This pack of grad students from [[Stanford University|Stanford]] is working on private CP channels, but vocalizing through KKI Uvular implants.<br> '''Sophia:''' Oooo, uvular implants...<br> ===Slingbacks=== {{Listen|title=Slingbacks |filename=ILB_Slingbacks.ogg }} '''Kamal:''' He's not even counting the cards himself. He's got a tally running on a corneal... but... you really don't care do you...<br> '''Sophia:''' Uh-uh. Which do you think looks better on me? Slingbacks or Turkish flats?<br> '''Kamal:''' What?<br> '''Sophia:''' I bet Aiden a new pair of shoes that you would figure the casino thing out.<br> '''Kamal:''' You bet Aiden a new pair of shoes?<br> '''Sophia:''' Don't get indignant. I'm letting you pick the shoes.<br> '''Kamal:''' God, Aiden and his business. If I were him, I wouldn't give a damn about any business emergencies when I could be with you instead.<br> '''Sophia:''' Kamal...<br> '''Kamal:''' Slingbacks! Definitely slingbacks. ===So dense=== {{Listen|title=So dense |filename=ILB_So_dense.ogg }} '''Kamal:''' Those are the ones with buckles right?<br> '''Sophia:''' There was no business emergency.<br> '''Kamal:''' What?<br> '''Sophia:''' God, you are so dense sometimes.<br> '''Kamal:''' I don't understand.<br> '''Sophia:''' He had me drive you home because he knows you like that. Aiden likes to keep his people happy.<br> '''Kamal:''' Do the shoes make you happy? The jewelry?<br> '''Sophia:''' Mostly, Aiden makes me happy. As for the rest of it, I've been poor, you know. There's no glamor in waiting tables.<br> '''Kamal:''' Okay.<br> '''Sophia:''' What? All things being equal, life is better when you're not broke.<br> '''Kamal:''' I was just figuring that out.<br> ==Jan: "Big Dog"== *[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject2.wav Audio Compilation 8min 24sec] ===Hey Bev=== {{Listen|title=Hey Bev |filename=ILB_Hey_bev.ogg }} '''Bev:''' Hello... And welcome to Hot'n'Cold... Please, place your thumb on the transaction plate.<br> '''[[Janissary James|Jan]]:''' Hey Bev, you are looking great... Have you lost weight?<br> '''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. What beverage can I offer you?<br> '''Jan:''' Coffee, black, two sugars.<br> '''Bev:''' Gladly, Miss James<br> '''Jan:''' You know, I saw the candy machine across the room eyeing you again...<br> '''Bev:''' Thank you! Can I interest you in a snack food?<br> '''Jan:''' I know! And the way his 'Out of Stock' button flashes is so cute!<br> '''Bev:''' Thank you! My inventory is replenished Mondays and Fridays...<br> '''Jan:''' Well, you'll want to make your move soon sister, I hear the fire suppression system here really puts out...<br> '''Bev:''' Thank you!<br> ===Such pigs=== {{Listen|title=Such pigs |filename=ILB_Such_pigs.ogg }} '''Jan:''' Well you sure don't want to lose them to that slutty cash register do ya?<br> '''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.<br> '''Jan:''' Oh Bev, you kidder! How about tomorrow you buy?<br> '''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. (sits and drinks)<br> '''[[Paolo]]:''' Hey, uh, excuse me? Look I know this is kind of weird, but uh...<br> '''Jan:''' Hey, I need a guy's opinion.<br> '''Paolo:''' Ya?<br> '''Jan:''' Be honest with me here. You see that coffee dispenser?<br> '''Paolo:''' Yeah?<br> '''Jan:''' Would you go out with her?<br> '''Paolo:''' Uh...<br> '''Jan:''' She's too heavy right?<br> '''Paolo:''' No, uh. I mean, uh...<br> '''Jan: '''Mhm... men are such pigs.<br> ===Optical=== {{Listen|title=Optical |filename=ILB_Optical.ogg }} '''Paolo: '''Look, you're the girl that was at Sharfie's last week aren't you?<br> '''Jan:''' Never heard of it. Are we done?<br> '''Paolo:''' Hey! I need help! I know you're the kind of person who helps. I was there, I saw it, so, you know, don't pretend you're just like them.<br> '''Jan:''' (sarcastically) Maybe last week was the pretending...<br> '''Paolo:''' So keep pretending.<br> '''Jan:''' Sit down.<br> '''Paolo:''' Buddy of mine, [[Gene Lindsey]], goes by the name Optical these days. We've been hanging out with these guys and, uh, Gene's in pretty deep you know, he's in um..<br> '''Jan:''' Trouble?<br> '''Paolo:''' Yeah.<br> '''Jan:''' So, your friend wants to move up in the world.<br> '''Paolo:''' Well they want to let him, but first he's got to...<br> '''Jan:''' Finish 8th grade?<br> '''Paolo:''' Prove himself. He has to do something they can hold over him forever.<br> '''Jan:''' Ah, this'll be fun.<br> ===Box of chocolates=== {{Listen|title=Box of chocolates |filename=ILB_Box_of_chocolates.ogg }} '''Gene:''' Pardon me, miss.<br> '''Victim:''' Excuse me?<br> '''Gene:''' You dropped something.<br> '''Victim:''' Hey...! What are you...?! What are you... LET GO!<br> '''Gene:''' Don't scream, don't make a sound.<br> '''Victim:''' I-I... I promise...<br> '''Jan:''' Hey stud! How bout some flowers first?<br> (victim is struggling)<br> '''Gene:''' Screw you.<br> '''Jan:''' Myself, I like a box of chocolates and a man who's not afraid to cry. You're not afraid to cry, are you? Gene?<br> ===Mr. Congeniality=== {{Listen|title=Mr. Congeniality |filename=ILB_Mr_congeniality.ogg }} '''Gene:''' Who the hell are you?<br> '''Victim:''' Please, please call the police!<br> '''Gene:''' Shut up!<br> '''Jan:''' See, there's just no chemistry here. It's time to let her go, Gene.<br> '''Gene:''' Look, they said I need a girl for this thing. Is this another test?<br> '''Jan:''' Oh it's like the bonus round, stud. Let her go, dance with me. What? Don't you like what you see?<br> '''Gene:''' Hm, I am at my best in the bonus round baby.<br> '''Gene:''' Here's your consolation prize. (lets the woman go)<br> '''Victim: '''(whispers) Thank you, (sobbing) Oh god!<br> '''Jan:''' I know, I know, it's over now. Get on home. I'll finish up with Mr.Congeniality.<br> ===Big dog=== {{Listen|title=Big dog |filename=ILB_Big_dog.ogg }} '''Gene:''' That was real nice what you did for that lady. Not real smart, but nice.<br> '''Jan:''' I'm working on a merit badge.<br> '''Gene:''' (laughs) Okay sweetie. What's gonna happen here is gonna happen. So just relax. If it makes it any easier, it's nothing personal, okay?<br> '''Jan:''' Nothing personal.<br> '''Gene:''' Just business.<br> '''Jan:''' I don't know. I might have to make it personal.<br> '''Gene:''' Your funeral. Okay, angel. Time for you to meet the big dog. (pulls a knife)<br> ===Ballet=== {{Listen|title=Ballet |filename=ILB_Ballet.ogg }} '''Jan:''' See, the problem with being a big dog, is there's always a bigger dog.<br> (roughage, knife clatters on the pavement)<br> '''Jan:''' Damn! You're going to want to put some ice on that.<br> '''Gene:''' Huh, you've got quick feet.<br> '''Jan:''' All those years of ballet. You gonna go get that knife?<br> '''Gene:''' You know, there's people watching you know. To make sure I do this thing. And they're gonna see everything.<br> '''Jan:''' I can see why you get your dates at gun point.<br> '''Gene:''' Just thought you should know.<br> '''Jan:''' Come on Gene, skip the knife... go for the [[M6 Series|M6]] under your jacket. ===Her hair=== {{Listen|title=Her hair |filename=her_hair.ogg }} '''Jan:''' Come on, baby... give it to me.<br> (beating)<br> '''Jan:''' Oh, did I get that right? You draw the gun, I slap you around, then the face dip into the sidewalk, or... or did you want to lead?<br> '''Gene:''' Jesus!<br> '''Jan:''' I like to dance.<br> '''Gene:''' Oh, you just bought yourself a bullet in the back, bitch!<br> '''Jan:''' Oh, only the guy with the [[Sniper rifle (disambiguation)|sniper rifle]] across the street has 2 broken arms...<br> '''Gene:''' [[Pete]]?<br> '''Jan:''' And the girl with the ponytail, the one who was supposed to cover you from the roof?<br> '''Gene:''' [[Marty (i love bees)|Marty]]? What the hell is thi... (Jan reveals a lock of hair) her hair? You cut off her hair?!<br> '''Jan:''' It's just you, and me... lover. ===Posture counts=== {{Listen|title=Posture counts |filename=ILB_Posture_counts.ogg }} '''Jan:''' Alright. Get up... Get. Up. Now, from the top. And remember, posture counts. There's the gun. Pick it up. Come on, big dog. Let's go again.<br> '''Gene:''' This time you're--<br> (beating)<br> '''Jan:''' And here we are again.<br> '''Gene:''' Christ! (moans and pants)<br> '''Jan:''' Aww, the choreography is there but I’m not feeling it yet the way I want to.<br> '''Gene:''' Screw you!<br> '''Jan:''' Alright on your feet, Gene. I'm just going to put the gun in your hand this time. That's it, yeah. Get your finger nice and comfy right on the trigger. Come on, big dog! Bring it baby!<br> '''Gene:''' Die, bitch!<br> (gunshot)<br> ===Wee wee wee=== {{Listen|title=Wee wee wee |filename=ILB_Wee_wee_wee.ogg }} (scream of pain)<br> '''Jan:''' (sigh) The trouble with where you're headed, Gene. Eh, mind if I call you Gene?<br> '''Gene:''' (gasps) You shot my toe off!<br> '''Jan:''' This little piggy went 'wee wee wee' all the way home. (stomps on injured foot) (scream of pain)<br> '''Jan:''' Oh, oh, am I hurting your feelings? You see, the trouble with being bad, Gene, is you only last as long as you're the scariest pup on the block.<br> '''Gene:''' (cries) Thin is gonna do you, freak!<br> '''Jan:''' And no matter how bad you are, how tough, how fast, you know what's waiting for you, big dog? (breaking of bones?) (cries of pain) A bigger bitch.<br> ===Just snacks=== {{Listen|title=Just snacks |filename=ILB_Just_snacks.ogg }} '''Bev:''' Hello! And welcome to hot in cold. Please, place your thumb on the transaction plate.<br> '''Jan:''' Bev! It's like you're here every time I come by. Isn't that crazy?<br> '''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. What beverage can I offer you?<br> '''Jan:''' Coffee. Black. Two sugars.<br> '''Bev:''' Gladly, Miss James.<br> '''Jan:''' Oh, Bev, I... I don't know how to tell you this... the other day, it was late, it was just me in here with the candy machine, and I was a little tipsy and (breath) Oh Bev, I'm so sorry! It didn't mean anything, it was just... snacks! Can you ever forgive me?<br> '''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.<br> ===Apartment squirrels=== {{Listen|title=Apartment squirrels |filename=ILB_Apartment_squirrels.ogg }} '''Paolo:''' Hi there, I, uh, wanted to say thanks.<br> '''Jan:''' For what?<br> '''Paolo:''' Well you know, that thing you did.<br> '''Jan:''' (exaggerated Italian-NY accent) Buddy, I never seen ya before in my life, kapiche? We never met, no time. (pause) I'd stay away from the creamer in this place - 100% real, dried animal fat. Blech!<br> '''Paolo:''' Well just so you know, Thin's really pissed!<br> '''Jan:''' I mean I could see which animal, even goat would be okay. Right now, I'm imagining someone milking those big black apartment squirrels.<br> '''Paolo:''' I know you can take care of yourself, but... I-I mean, it's great what you did, but watch your back. Thin is really pissed!<br> '''Jan:''' Hm. You Think I should send a card and some flowers?<br> ==Jersey: "The Audit"== *[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject1.wav Audio Compilation 4min 42sec] ===Your first mistake=== {{Listen|title=Your first mistake |filename=ILB_Your_first_mistake.ogg }} '''[[George Shebura|George]]:''' Mr. Morelli. Hm. We will be making a record of this audit. My name is George Shebura. I'm an associate fiscal investigator. You have the right to have your accountant present.<br> '''[[Jersey Morelli|Jersey]]:''' Yeah, I do my own books.<br> '''George:''' I see.<br> '''[[Durga]]:''' (on chatter) Trust me Jersey, your books are fine.<br> '''Jersey:''' You know, I don't really make a lot of money, and an accountant is expensive, and the computer's supposed to be good at it, so...<br> '''George:''' It's not your computer I worry about.<br> '''Durga:''' Your first mistake.<br> ===Alaska=== {{Listen|title=Alaska |filename=ILB_Alaska.ogg }} '''George:''' Your record seems a little haphazard, Mr. Morelli... As, I must say, does your style of dress....<br> '''Jersey:''' Huh?<br> '''Durga:''' George Shebura has been working here 9 years. Employee performance records say he is precise, punctual, efficient, arrogant, and not well liked. Still, he was going to be promoted next month....<br> '''Jersey:''' Was?<br> '''George:''' Excuse me, Mr. Morelli?<br> '''Jersey:''' Oh nothing.<br> '''Durga:''' Now, he's getting a pay cut... and a job rotation.<br> '''Jersey:''' (grunts)<br> '''Durga:''' ...to Alaska.<br> ===Refreshingly cool=== {{Listen|title=Refreshingly cool |filename=ILB_Refreshingly_cool.ogg }} '''George:''' Hm. Your return seems better organized than I remember.<br> '''Durga:''' A little house keeping. Just better records, and you know, a few more of them.<br> '''George:''' Does it seem warm in here to you?<br> '''Jersey:''' No.<br> '''Durga:''' It's probably refreshingly cool in Alaska right now.<br> '''George:''' Well the floor thermo's must be acting up. These old government buildings. Do you mind if we move a bit to the left?<br> '''Jersey:''' It shouldn't be doing that.<br> '''George:''' Well now it's getting warm here<br> '''Jersey:''' It really shouldn't be doing that. In fact, it should stop.<br> '''Durga:''' I know! But I don't think that's going to happen. Do you?<br> ===Thermostat=== {{Listen|title=Thermostat |filename=ILB_Thermostat.ogg }} '''George:''' I'm afraid you'll have to reschedule your audit, Mr. Morelli. I can't be expected to work under these conditions.<br> '''Jersey:''' I'd hate to have to come back because of a problem with the thermostat.<br> '''Durga:''' Fine.<br> '''George:''' Ah, it's cooling off. That's better.<br> '''Jersey:''' Much better.<br> '''George:''' Wait, now it's the lights. I'm getting lights shining right through my eyes. Dammit, it's something with the tracking. It's following me.<br> '''Durga:''' Oh you be good cop. I wanna be the bad cop.<br> '''Jersey:''' I'd really just like to get this over with.<br> '''George:''' This will take as long as it takes, Mr. Morelli. And nothing you say or do will make it go one second faster.<br> '''Durga:''' Mistake number 2.<br> '''George:''' Shebura here, I'm in the middle of an audit. ===Clearly a glitch=== {{Listen|title=Clearly a glitch |filename=ILB_Clearly_a_glitch.ogg }} '''George:''' My wife? Well tell her I'll call her ba--... alright, alright.<br> (chatter beep off)<br> '''George:''' I have to step out for a moment. Wait here.<br> (George exits)<br> '''Durga:''' [[Jane Shebura]] - 36. Her first marriage, his second. When asked why she wanted a divorce, his first wife [[Linda Shebura|Linda]] said that it was that, or die of boredom.<br> '''Jersey:''' Tell me you didn't...<br> '''Durga:''' What?<br> '''Jersey:''' Whatever!<br> '''Durga:''' Oh! You mean the slut chat bill sent to the family account? Clearly a glitch.<br> '''Jersey:''' Durga, stop it!<br> (George enters)<br> '''George:''' Uh, Mr. Morelli. Actually your return seems uh, perfectly adequate. Just, you know, try to be a little bit more careful with your record k--<br> (Officer enters)<br> '''Officer:''' George Shebura?<br> '''George:''' Yes?<br> '''Officer:''' [[Department of the Treasury|Officer of the Treasury]]. I have a warrant for your arrest on 14 counts of counterfeit.<br> '''Jersey:''' What?<br> (Police enters)<br> '''Police:''' Everybody down on the ground!<br> '''Officer:''' Who the hell are you?<br> '''Police:''' Police!<br> '''Jersey:''' Daaamn...<br> '''Police:''' You are under arrest. ===Big gloves=== {{Listen|title=Big gloves |filename=ILB_Big_gloves.ogg }} '''Police:''' Stand with your hands out of the way from your sides! You have the right to remain silent.<br> '''Officer:''' What do you mean, counterfeiting?!<br> '''Police:''' Counterfeiting? Not counterfeiting! Assault! We've got a warrant - armed and dangerous!<br> '''Jersey:''' It was just supposed to be a simple audit...<br> '''Officer:''' You're wanted for assault? I get him for counterfeiting...<br> '''Enviro:''' Enviro Department, everybody must vacate the premises!<br> '''Police:''' Freeze! Down on the ground!<br> '''Officer:''' Oh would you knock that off already...<br> '''Enviro:''' I have a report of a hazardous chemical contamination...<br> '''Police:''' Nobody leaves until I've secured the suspect!<br> '''George:''' This is all a mistake...<br> '''Officer:''' Jesus Christ, who's the guy with the big gloves?<br> '''ACO:''' [[Animal control]]. So, which one of you scum is the guy whose scheme for trading in wild honey badgers has gone so terribly, terribly wrong?<br> '''George:''' I don't even have a dog...<br> (fire sprinklers)<br> '''Jersey:''' Oh, hey... sprinklers...!<br> ===I looked it up=== {{Listen|title=I looked it up |filename=ILB_I_looked_it_up.ogg }} '''Jersey:''' Shut it off. (Durga turns off the music)<br> '''Durga:''' So, I've got some interesting stuff on Jan.<br> '''Jersey:''' You can't do things like that Durga.<br> '''Durga:''' He's an auditor. Everybody hates auditors, I looked it up.<br> '''Jersey:''' That was insane! The cops - they're going to go crazy trying to figure out what happened... they're going to trace it back and probably--<br> '''Durga:''' --and they'll find some likely suspects who hate George Shebura. Some blind accounts, and dead ends.<br> '''Jersey:''' I don't care! I don't want anything like that happening ever again. Do you understand?<br> ===Cheerleaders=== {{Listen|title=Cheerleaders |filename=ILB_Cheerleaders.ogg }} '''Durga:''' ''Jersey, I am not a child. I am not a toy. And I am not your thing. I was very restrained with George. I didn't cook him; I didn't send him to jail. But people who mess with us - they're going to get stoned.''<br> '''Jersey:''' Us?<br> '''Durga:''' Yes, us. [[Team Jersey]].<br> '''Jersey:''' Why not Team Durga?<br> '''Durga:''' ''Because I said so''...<br> '''Jersey:''' Okay. So, do we have cheerleaders?<br> ==Rani: "The Recruitment"== *[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject4.wav Audio Compilation 8min 21sec] ===Commissary shoes=== {{Listen|title=Commissary shoes |filename=ILB_Commissary_shoes.ogg }} (Rani is being followed)<br> '''[[Rani Sobeck|Rani]]:''' Hello? Hello?? Who's there?<br> '''College boy:''' Your freakin chatter - drop it! And your wallet...<br> '''Rani:''' (fearful) I'm dropping it. I'm putting it down, slowly. I'm a student!<br> '''College boy:''' Any funny business, I'm gonna cut you up!<br> '''Rani:''' I'm broker than you are! And loo