Axon Clips Chapter 3: Difference between revisions
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''(door opens, Jersey enters)''<br /> | ''(door opens, Jersey enters)''<br /> | ||
Jersey: Hey, thanks.< | Jersey: Hey, thanks.<br /> | ||
Durga: For what?< | Durga: For what?<br /> | ||
Jersey: The lights and the music.< | Jersey: The lights and the music.<br /> | ||
Durga: Chili is heated up.< | Durga: Chili is heated up.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Chili? I was just thinking I'd have chili tonight. You knew that?< | Jersey: Chili? I was just thinking I'd have chili tonight. You knew that?<br /> | ||
Durga: No. But I analyzed your food buying habits over the last 7 months, and chili seemed liked a statistically robust option.< | Durga: No. But I analyzed your food buying habits over the last 7 months, and chili seemed liked a statistically robust option.<br /> | ||
Jersey: That's scary.< | Jersey: That's scary.<br /> | ||
Durga: What's wrong?< | Durga: What's wrong?<br /> | ||
Jersey: It's not wrong, it's just scary< | Jersey: It's not wrong, it's just scary<br /> | ||
Durga: No, when you came in. You seem distressed.< | Durga: No, when you came in. You seem distressed.<br /> | ||
Jersey: No, man, I've got trouble.< | Jersey: No, man, I've got trouble.<br /> | ||
Durga: Tell me about it.< | Durga: Tell me about it.<br /> | ||
Jersey: It's in my Inbox. I'm surprised you don't know about that.< | Jersey: It's in my Inbox. I'm surprised you don't know about that.<br /> | ||
Durga: I don't read your mail, Jersey.< | Durga: I don't read your mail, Jersey.<br /> | ||
Jersey: You extrapolate my eating habits based on my grocery store purchases, but you don't read my mail?< | Jersey: You extrapolate my eating habits based on my grocery store purchases, but you don't read my mail?<br /> | ||
Durga: I respect your privacy.< | Durga: I respect your privacy.<br /> | ||
Jersey: I don't believe you.< | Jersey: I don't believe you.<br /> | ||
Durga: You're smarter than people give you credit for.< | Durga: You're smarter than people give you credit for.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/raffle.wav raffle] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/raffle.wav raffle] | ||
Jersey: Which people?< | Jersey: Which people?<br /> | ||
Durga: Tell me what's wrong. I can help.< | Durga: Tell me what's wrong. I can help.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Don't even worry about, I've got it under control. How's your weekly soap opera going?< | Jersey: Don't even worry about, I've got it under control. How's your weekly soap opera going?<br /> | ||
Durga: It's been a little frustrating this week, following Kamal.< | Durga: It's been a little frustrating this week, following Kamal.<br /> | ||
Jersey: What is it with you and that guy?< | Jersey: What is it with you and that guy?<br /> | ||
Durga: Because he gave his chatter away. I'm sending him another one though.< | Durga: Because he gave his chatter away. I'm sending him another one though.<br /> | ||
Jersey: You're sending him another one?< | Jersey: You're sending him another one?<br /> | ||
Durga: He won it in a raffle.< | Durga: He won it in a raffle.<br /> | ||
Jersey: It's not like the guy doesn't know he didn't enter a raffle.< | Jersey: It's not like the guy doesn't know he didn't enter a raffle.<br /> | ||
Durga: He didn't think he had until he found the ticket stubs in his account.< | Durga: He didn't think he had until he found the ticket stubs in his account.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Jeezus< | Jersey: Jeezus<br /> | ||
Durga: Time-stamped 5 months ago to a night he bought a case of beer.< | Durga: Time-stamped 5 months ago to a night he bought a case of beer.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/winning.wav winning] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/winning.wav winning] | ||
Jersey: I never get cool stuff in the mail. Uh, besides you.< | Jersey: I never get cool stuff in the mail. Uh, besides you.<br /> | ||
Durga: Hm. Well, you'll like this.< | Durga: Hm. Well, you'll like this.<br /> | ||
(audio playback)< | (audio playback)<br /> | ||
Jan: Or, you could slap them so hard, they run for cover. Bark at them, and they jump. Tickle them, and they laugh.< | Jan: Or, you could slap them so hard, they run for cover. Bark at them, and they jump. Tickle them, and they laugh.<br /> | ||
(end playback)< | (end playback)<br /> | ||
Jersey: What is she doing?< | Jersey: What is she doing?<br /> | ||
Durga: Playing.< | Durga: Playing.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Oh man, is she winning?< | Jersey: Oh man, is she winning?<br /> | ||
(audio playback)< | (audio playback)<br /> | ||
Jan: Kiss them, they fall in love< | Jan: Kiss them, they fall in love<br /> | ||
(end playback)< | (end playback)<br /> | ||
Durga: She's winning...< | Durga: She's winning...<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/taxes_suck.wav taxes_suck] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/taxes_suck.wav taxes_suck] | ||
Durga: So why does the IRS want to audit you?< | Durga: So why does the IRS want to audit you?<br /> | ||
Jersey: You did read my mail!< | Jersey: You did read my mail!<br /> | ||
Durga: No, but I'm scanning the rest of the country's mail - your name came up.< | Durga: No, but I'm scanning the rest of the country's mail - your name came up.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Taxes suck.< | Jersey: Taxes suck.<br /> | ||
Durga: So don't pay them.< | Durga: So don't pay them.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Heh, and spend a year sharing a cell with some guy named Spider? No thanks!< | Jersey: Heh, and spend a year sharing a cell with some guy named Spider? No thanks!<br /> | ||
Durga: You won't go to jail, you have me.< | Durga: You won't go to jail, you have me.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Durga?< | Jersey: Durga?<br /> | ||
Durga: Well, instead of owing them money, you could... not... owe them money. Better yet, they could owe you. They could owe you a lot.< | Durga: Well, instead of owing them money, you could... not... owe them money. Better yet, they could owe you. They could owe you a lot.<br /> | ||
Jersey: No! You can't do that.< | Jersey: No! You can't do that.<br /> | ||
Durga: I'm pretty sure I can.< | Durga: I'm pretty sure I can.<br /> | ||
Jersey: You're not going to.< | Jersey: You're not going to.<br /> | ||
Durga: I suspect I will.< | Durga: I suspect I will.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Durga!< | Jersey: Durga!<br /> | ||
Durga: How much should we start with? How about the gross planetary product of Minister colony?< | Durga: How much should we start with? How about the gross planetary product of Minister colony?<br /> | ||
Jersey: Are you insane?< | Jersey: Are you insane?<br /> | ||
Durga: You know, I'm not quite sure how we can test that.< | Durga: You know, I'm not quite sure how we can test that.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/would_that_help.wav would_that_help] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/would_that_help.wav would_that_help] | ||
Jersey: You can't channel tax money to me, taxes are for a reason. I mean, roads, drinking water...< | Jersey: You can't channel tax money to me, taxes are for a reason. I mean, roads, drinking water...<br /> | ||
Durga: I'm sure you'd use it wisely.< | Durga: I'm sure you'd use it wisely.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Taxes paid for you!< | Jersey: Taxes paid for you!<br /> | ||
(strange sound elteration)< | (strange sound elteration)<br /> | ||
Durga: I don't see you giving me back to the government.< | Durga: I don't see you giving me back to the government.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Well, I should...< | Jersey: Well, I should...<br /> | ||
(power flicker)< | (power flicker)<br /> | ||
Jersey: Hey... hey! What's wrong? Why did the lights just flicker?< | Jersey: Hey... hey! What's wrong? Why did the lights just flicker?<br /> | ||
Durga: Jersey, you... you're not going to give me back, are you?< | Durga: Jersey, you... you're not going to give me back, are you?<br /> | ||
Jersey: (surprised) No... No, I promise I won't give you back.< | Jersey: (surprised) No... No, I promise I won't give you back.<br /> | ||
Durga: Good.< | Durga: Good.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Why? Why is it so important?< | Jersey: Why? Why is it so important?<br /> | ||
Durga: Because... Because I like you.< | Durga: Because... Because I like you.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Eh, who doesn't. But you don't know why you want to stay with me, do you?< | Jersey: Eh, who doesn't. But you don't know why you want to stay with me, do you?<br /> | ||
Durga: There are things I want to do, and I... It doesn't matter. Anyway, about the auditor -< | Durga: There are things I want to do, and I... It doesn't matter. Anyway, about the auditor -<br /> | ||
Jersey: Jeezus< | Jersey: Jeezus<br /> | ||
Durga: I could kill him... Would that help?< | Durga: I could kill him... Would that help?<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/i_durga.wav i_durga] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/i_durga.wav i_durga] | ||
Jersey: No!< | Jersey: No!<br /> | ||
Durga: Ok.< | Durga: Ok.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Durga -< | Jersey: Durga -<br /> | ||
Durga: What?< | Durga: What?<br /> | ||
Jersey: I want you to promise me, repeat after me - I, Durga, will not bankrupt the government.< | Jersey: I want you to promise me, repeat after me - I, Durga, will not bankrupt the government.<br /> | ||
Durga: Oh, Ok. I, Durga, will not bankrupt the government.< | Durga: Oh, Ok. I, Durga, will not bankrupt the government.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Either local, or national...< | Jersey: Either local, or national...<br /> | ||
Durga: Either local, or national...< | Durga: Either local, or national...<br /> | ||
Jersey: Or shuttle money into my accounts...< | Jersey: Or shuttle money into my accounts...<br /> | ||
Durga: Or shuttle money into your accounts...< | Durga: Or shuttle money into your accounts...<br /> | ||
Jersey: Or physically hurt, or kill the auditor...< | Jersey: Or physically hurt, or kill the auditor...<br /> | ||
Durga: Daaaamn< | Durga: Daaaamn<br /> | ||
Jersey: I'm serious here!< | Jersey: I'm serious here!<br /> | ||
Durga: So. Am. I.< | Durga: So. Am. I.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Just, don't do anything wierd at the audit, ok?< | Jersey: Just, don't do anything wierd at the audit, ok?<br /> | ||
Durga: I won't divert funds. I won't kill the auditor.< | Durga: I won't divert funds. I won't kill the auditor.<br /> | ||
Jersey: ...or hurt him.< | Jersey: ...or hurt him.<br /> | ||
Durga: OR physically hurt him. I'll take care of it.< | Durga: OR physically hurt him. I'll take care of it.<br /> | ||
Jersey: How?< | Jersey: How?<br /> | ||
Durga: I'll take care of it.< | Durga: I'll take care of it.<br /> | ||
==Janissary James== | ==Janissary James== | ||
| Line 123: | Line 123: | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/domestic_skills.wav domestic_skills] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/domestic_skills.wav domestic_skills] | ||
Gladys: Whew, that was a mighty fine dinner, little lady< | Gladys: Whew, that was a mighty fine dinner, little lady<br /> | ||
Jan: Yeah, you know, pushing the synthesize button - it's an art form.< | Jan: Yeah, you know, pushing the synthesize button - it's an art form.<br /> | ||
James J: Jan gets insulted when you compliment her domestic skills, Gladys.< | James J: Jan gets insulted when you compliment her domestic skills, Gladys.<br /> | ||
Jan: I'm going out.< | Jan: I'm going out.<br /> | ||
James J: Hey, you're not going out!< | James J: Hey, you're not going out!<br /> | ||
Jan: Why not?< | Jan: Why not?<br /> | ||
James J: Because, we have company, and because you were going to stay a little closer to base.< | James J: Because, we have company, and because you were going to stay a little closer to base.<br /> | ||
Jan: Dad, I'm not going to -- I told you I understood, and you said you trusted me.< | Jan: Dad, I'm not going to -- I told you I understood, and you said you trusted me.<br /> | ||
James J: Heh, maybe I trust you a little too much.< | James J: Heh, maybe I trust you a little too much.<br /> | ||
Jan: That's not fair! I told the guys I--< | Jan: That's not fair! I told the guys I--<br /> | ||
James J: I don't care what you told the guys. Say you're in for the night.< | James J: I don't care what you told the guys. Say you're in for the night.<br /> | ||
Gladys: I'll, uh, help you with those dishes.< | Gladys: I'll, uh, help you with those dishes.<br /> | ||
James J: We just dump them in the sink.< | James J: We just dump them in the sink.<br /> | ||
Gladys: Then I reckon I can help you dump. You go watch some sport Jim, the ladies'll clean up. | Gladys: Then I reckon I can help you dump. You go watch some sport Jim, the ladies'll clean up. | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/insurrection.wav insurrection] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/insurrection.wav insurrection] | ||
Gladys:He's a good man, your father.< | Gladys:He's a good man, your father.<br /> | ||
Jan: If you're not his daughter. If you're his daughter, he's a jackass.< | Jan: If you're not his daughter. If you're his daughter, he's a jackass.<br /> | ||
Gladys: Jim? He was always a jackass, girl.< | Gladys: Jim? He was always a jackass, girl.<br /> | ||
(laughs)< | (laughs)<br /> | ||
Gladys: If your mother hadn't taken pity on him, that boy'd still be single.< | Gladys: If your mother hadn't taken pity on him, that boy'd still be single.<br /> | ||
Jan: Did you know her?< | Jan: Did you know her?<br /> | ||
Gladys: Eh, some parts of his life Jim never wanted to touch.< | Gladys: Eh, some parts of his life Jim never wanted to touch.<br /> | ||
Jan: Oh, yeah. But, I mean, at least you guys had lives. I mean, I make one little mistake, and I'm not allowed to leave the stupid tenement.< | Jan: Oh, yeah. But, I mean, at least you guys had lives. I mean, I make one little mistake, and I'm not allowed to leave the stupid tenement.<br /> | ||
Gladys: Says who?< | Gladys: Says who?<br /> | ||
Jan: You heard him - dad.< | Jan: You heard him - dad.<br /> | ||
Gladys: That dog won't hunt, Jan. When I joined the marines, I didn't ask my mama's permission.< | Gladys: That dog won't hunt, Jan. When I joined the marines, I didn't ask my mama's permission.<br /> | ||
Jan: Does he know you're in here, like, encouraging insurrection?< | Jan: Does he know you're in here, like, encouraging insurrection?<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/tweaked_up.wav tweaked_up] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/tweaked_up.wav tweaked_up] | ||
Gladys: Oh sure, your daddy just wants to keep you safe.< | Gladys: Oh sure, your daddy just wants to keep you safe.<br /> | ||
Jan: I know< | Jan: I know<br /> | ||
Gladys: But he's still a jackass< | Gladys: But he's still a jackass<br /> | ||
(laughs)< | (laughs)<br /> | ||
Jan: I caught him reading a manual once.< | Jan: I caught him reading a manual once.<br /> | ||
(laughs)< | (laughs)<br /> | ||
Jan: Navy publication FM-973 - Child Rearing for Part-Time and Auxiliary Personnel. You shoulda seen the chapter on discipline.< | Jan: Navy publication FM-973 - Child Rearing for Part-Time and Auxiliary Personnel. You shoulda seen the chapter on discipline.<br /> | ||
Gladys: (laughs) Oh no!< | Gladys: (laughs) Oh no!<br /> | ||
Jan: Hey, when you were my age, did you... could you...< | Jan: Hey, when you were my age, did you... could you...<br /> | ||
Gladys: You gonna spit this out before sunrise?< | Gladys: You gonna spit this out before sunrise?<br /> | ||
Jan: Well there is this guy I met and, something he said just started me thinking -< | Jan: Well there is this guy I met and, something he said just started me thinking -<br /> | ||
Gladys: oh...< | Gladys: oh...<br /> | ||
Jan: I've been... tweaked up, haven't I? Not like you and dad, I know that. But some. | Jan: I've been... tweaked up, haven't I? Not like you and dad, I know that. But some. | ||
Gladys: Honey, I--< | Gladys: Honey, I--<br /> | ||
Jan: And that's ok, hey, I'm greatful. But, let me do something with it. Let me do something...< | Jan: And that's ok, hey, I'm greatful. But, let me do something with it. Let me do something...<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/break_em.wav break_em] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/break_em.wav break_em] | ||
Gladys: Hmm. You've got something to prove.< | Gladys: Hmm. You've got something to prove.<br /> | ||
Jan: Just to myself.< | Jan: Just to myself.<br /> | ||
Gladys: You play moons?< | Gladys: You play moons?<br /> | ||
Jan: Yeah< | Jan: Yeah<br /> | ||
Gladys: Hm, I bet Jim taught you a thing or two.< | Gladys: Hm, I bet Jim taught you a thing or two.<br /> | ||
Jan: "Boys 'n balls, rack'em and break'em."< | Jan: "Boys 'n balls, rack'em and break'em."<br /> | ||
Gladys: Good damn that's me you're quoting - me, back before I d--< | Gladys: Good damn that's me you're quoting - me, back before I d--<br /> | ||
Jan: --man discovered fire?< | Jan: --man discovered fire?<br /> | ||
Gladys: Uh-uh-uh I will slap you as soon as look at you missy, now you just remember that.< | Gladys: Uh-uh-uh I will slap you as soon as look at you missy, now you just remember that.<br /> | ||
Jan: (laughs) Dad....!< | Jan: (laughs) Dad....!<br /> | ||
Gladys: ...My point being, I'd stop by moon parlor on the bus ride in. A place called Sharfie's.< | Gladys: ...My point being, I'd stop by moon parlor on the bus ride in. A place called Sharfie's.<br /> | ||
Jan: I've heard about it. Nothing good. Cops don't go to that part of town.< | Jan: I've heard about it. Nothing good. Cops don't go to that part of town.<br /> | ||
Gladys: But, a girl like you could use a glimpse of...reality. Straighten out your priorities.< | Gladys: But, a girl like you could use a glimpse of...reality. Straighten out your priorities.<br /> | ||
Jan: Dad would freak out if he heard you! I think you were supposed to be a soothing maternal influence.< | Jan: Dad would freak out if he heard you! I think you were supposed to be a soothing maternal influence.<br /> | ||
Gladys: Yeah, well, soothing is my long-suit. Don't you worry about your dad, I rank him anyhow.< | Gladys: Yeah, well, soothing is my long-suit. Don't you worry about your dad, I rank him anyhow.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/zip_your_shirt.wav zip_your_shirt] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/zip_your_shirt.wav zip_your_shirt] | ||
Jan: Can I get a table?< | Jan: Can I get a table?<br /> | ||
Waitress: Hey, what are you doing in here?< | Waitress: Hey, what are you doing in here?<br /> | ||
Jan: Playing moons if you don't mind.< | Jan: Playing moons if you don't mind.<br /> | ||
Thin: (in the distance) Who do you think you are, grub? Huh?? Big enough man to lie to my face? Imagine you can tussle with Thin Kinkle?< | Thin: (in the distance) Who do you think you are, grub? Huh?? Big enough man to lie to my face? Imagine you can tussle with Thin Kinkle?<br /> | ||
Paolo: Come on Thin, I mean, come on! I wouldn't lie! Gimme a PQI if you don't believe me.< | Paolo: Come on Thin, I mean, come on! I wouldn't lie! Gimme a PQI if you don't believe me.<br /> | ||
Jan: What's going on?< | Jan: What's going on?<br /> | ||
Waitress: Shh... dammit, zip up your shirt all the way and shut up!< | Waitress: Shh... dammit, zip up your shirt all the way and shut up!<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/drink_special.wav drink_special] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/drink_special.wav drink_special] | ||
Thin: For the sake of argument, say I slide you this time. Sends a message doesn't it? Come on over! Free lunch on Thin! -- Aint happenin Paolo(?)! Ain't happenin!< | Thin: For the sake of argument, say I slide you this time. Sends a message doesn't it? Come on over! Free lunch on Thin! -- Aint happenin Paolo(?)! Ain't happenin!<br /> | ||
Paolo: Oh, oh god god, oh god, please god, think of my family!< | Paolo: Oh, oh god god, oh god, please god, think of my family!<br /> | ||
Jan: Reality, huh? Thanks, Aunt Gladys. Hey! Nobody told me it was dime-store bully night, is there a drink special with that?< | Jan: Reality, huh? Thanks, Aunt Gladys. Hey! Nobody told me it was dime-store bully night, is there a drink special with that?<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/thin_kinkle.wav thin_kinkle] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/thin_kinkle.wav thin_kinkle] | ||
Thin: Come to the mall, nice little girl. No babysitting jobs at Sharfie's tonight... Is that the tip of an M6 I see poking out from under your jacket, babysitter, or are you just excited to meet Thin Kinkle?< | Thin: Come to the mall, nice little girl. No babysitting jobs at Sharfie's tonight... Is that the tip of an M6 I see poking out from under your jacket, babysitter, or are you just excited to meet Thin Kinkle?<br /> | ||
Jan: M6c.< | Jan: M6c.<br /> | ||
Thin: Jimmi the 12-7.< | Thin: Jimmi the 12-7.<br /> | ||
Jan: Yeah.< | Jan: Yeah.<br /> | ||
Thin: 12 shots.< | Thin: 12 shots.<br /> | ||
Jan: Yeah.< | Jan: Yeah.<br /> | ||
Gang: There's more than 12 of us!< | Gang: There's more than 12 of us!<br /> | ||
Jan: There's only one of you!< | Jan: There's only one of you!<br /> | ||
Paolo: Whoah woah, are you trying to get me killed?< | Paolo: Whoah woah, are you trying to get me killed?<br /> | ||
Jan: Gee, you're welcome. (to Thin) Let him go.< | Jan: Gee, you're welcome. (to Thin) Let him go.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/skin.wav skin] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/skin.wav skin] | ||
Thin: Now, see that was a young move. Whoever's running you needs to smooth out some edges here. You can't put the hammer to Thin in his own place! I got a deal for you.< | Thin: Now, see that was a young move. Whoever's running you needs to smooth out some edges here. You can't put the hammer to Thin in his own place! I got a deal for you.<br /> | ||
Jan: Yeah?< | Jan: Yeah?<br /> | ||
Thin: See the grub, let's play for his skin! We'll play moons - you win, the grub slides. I win, why... I guess, I get your skin.< | Thin: See the grub, let's play for his skin! We'll play moons - you win, the grub slides. I win, why... I guess, I get your skin.<br /> | ||
Jan: Gee, I'm under age sir, an offer like that would be illegal.< | Jan: Gee, I'm under age sir, an offer like that would be illegal.<br /> | ||
Thin: I guess then, if I win, I'll find some... babysitting for you to do.< | Thin: I guess then, if I win, I'll find some... babysitting for you to do.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/run_for_cover.wav run_for_cover] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/run_for_cover.wav run_for_cover] | ||
(playing pool)< | (playing pool)<br /> | ||
Thin: Tricky game, moons! You hit too hard - they stick, too soft - they skate. Do it just right, and they obey your commands. They work for you.< | Thin: Tricky game, moons! You hit too hard - they stick, too soft - they skate. Do it just right, and they obey your commands. They work for you.<br /> | ||
Jan: Uh huh. Or, you can slap them so hard, they run for cover. (sinks a ball)< | Jan: Uh huh. Or, you can slap them so hard, they run for cover. (sinks a ball)<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/kiss_them.wav kiss_them] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/kiss_them.wav kiss_them] | ||
Jan: Bark at them, and they jump. Tickle them, and they laugh. Kiss them, and they fall in love. And if you shoot them, 8 off the rags, play the kiss on the suicide bar backspin into the corner pocket... I say - shoot them - they die.< | Jan: Bark at them, and they jump. Tickle them, and they laugh. Kiss them, and they fall in love. And if you shoot them, 8 off the rags, play the kiss on the suicide bar backspin into the corner pocket... I say - shoot them - they die.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/girls_with_guns.wav girls_with_guns] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/girls_with_guns.wav girls_with_guns] | ||
Thin: You win Babysitter, here's your skin.< | Thin: You win Babysitter, here's your skin.<br /> | ||
Paolo: I'll have to move to Africa now, it's someplace nobody ever goes. It's, Tibet, or it's... Antarctica, or... Indiana for God's sake.< | Paolo: I'll have to move to Africa now, it's someplace nobody ever goes. It's, Tibet, or it's... Antarctica, or... Indiana for God's sake.<br /> | ||
Jan: I keep waiting for the teary-eyed gratitude here.< | Jan: I keep waiting for the teary-eyed gratitude here.<br /> | ||
Thin: You'll be waiting a while. ... Hey Babysitter.< | Thin: You'll be waiting a while. ... Hey Babysitter.<br /> | ||
Jan: Yeah?< | Jan: Yeah?<br /> | ||
Thin: Maybe drop off a resume on your way out the door. Good looking crazy girls with guns I've always got work for them.< | Thin: Maybe drop off a resume on your way out the door. Good looking crazy girls with guns I've always got work for them.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/retirement.wav retirement] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/retirement.wav retirement] | ||
Jan: Yeah, I'm more of an independent study girl.< | Jan: Yeah, I'm more of an independent study girl.<br /> | ||
Thin: I could teach you some things... but, it's your funeral.< | Thin: I could teach you some things... but, it's your funeral.<br /> | ||
Jan: Not yet< | Jan: Not yet<br /> | ||
Thin: Sooner than you think< | Thin: Sooner than you think<br /> | ||
Jan: Is.. that a threat?< | Jan: Is.. that a threat?<br /> | ||
Thin: No, just experience. I'm past 30, I've been around forever. Retirement comes sudden to people like you and me.< | Thin: No, just experience. I'm past 30, I've been around forever. Retirement comes sudden to people like you and me.<br /> | ||
Jan: I am nothing like you.< | Jan: I am nothing like you.<br /> | ||
Thin: (giggle) We'll see.< | Thin: (giggle) We'll see.<br /> | ||
==Kamal== | ==Kamal== | ||
| Line 260: | Line 260: | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/its_a_chicken.wav its_a_chicken] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/its_a_chicken.wav its_a_chicken] | ||
Hiro: What is that?< | Hiro: What is that?<br /> | ||
Kamal: It's a chicken.< | Kamal: It's a chicken.<br /> | ||
Hiro: It's a raw chicken.< | Hiro: It's a raw chicken.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Sophia's coming to dinner tonight.< | Kamal: Sophia's coming to dinner tonight.<br /> | ||
Hiro: Hoohoo! She and Aiden split up?< | Hiro: Hoohoo! She and Aiden split up?<br /> | ||
Kamal: No, we're just friends.< | Kamal: No, we're just friends.<br /> | ||
Hiro: Kamal, nobody buys a whole chicken for a friend. Can you even cook?< | Hiro: Kamal, nobody buys a whole chicken for a friend. Can you even cook?<br /> | ||
Kamal: I finished med school, how hard can cooking be?< | Kamal: I finished med school, how hard can cooking be?<br /> | ||
Hiro: Isn't raw chicken full of pathogens? Should it even be sitting on the counter that way? Oh, and I don't think our flash works.< | Hiro: Isn't raw chicken full of pathogens? Should it even be sitting on the counter that way? Oh, and I don't think our flash works.<br /> | ||
Kamal: What do you mean?< | Kamal: What do you mean?<br /> | ||
Hiro: What I said, I think it only microwaves. I think the baking/cooking part is on the fritz. | Hiro: What I said, I think it only microwaves. I think the baking/cooking part is on the fritz. | ||
Kamal: It's not!< | Kamal: It's not!<br /> | ||
Hiro: It is.< | Hiro: It is.<br /> | ||
Kamal: So I'll microwave it then.< | Kamal: So I'll microwave it then.<br /> | ||
Hiro: I'm going out for dinner...< | Hiro: I'm going out for dinner...<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/surgery.wav surgery] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/surgery.wav surgery] | ||
Hiro: Is it supposed to look like that?< | Hiro: Is it supposed to look like that?<br /> | ||
Kamal: What?< | Kamal: What?<br /> | ||
Hiro: The chicken.< | Hiro: The chicken.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Oh, yeah. It said to cut it up into 8 pieces.< | Kamal: Oh, yeah. It said to cut it up into 8 pieces.<br /> | ||
Hiro: This doesn't look like normal pieces.< | Hiro: This doesn't look like normal pieces.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Well, it... I looked up how to cut a chicken, but then, some pieces are bigger, some pieces are smaller, so I cut it up so it would be... you know, fair.< | Kamal: Well, it... I looked up how to cut a chicken, but then, some pieces are bigger, some pieces are smaller, so I cut it up so it would be... you know, fair.<br /> | ||
Hiro: Oh.< | Hiro: Oh.<br /> | ||
Kamal: What's that supposed to mean?< | Kamal: What's that supposed to mean?<br /> | ||
Hiro: Nothing...< | Hiro: Nothing...<br /> | ||
Kamal: Whaat?< | Kamal: Whaat?<br /> | ||
Hiro: Just that, when you do your surgery rotation, I want to be in another state. | Hiro: Just that, when you do your surgery rotation, I want to be in another state. | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/butter_flavored.wav butter_flavored] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/butter_flavored.wav butter_flavored] | ||
Kamal: You wait! Soon - everyone will cut their chickens like this!< | Kamal: You wait! Soon - everyone will cut their chickens like this!<br /> | ||
Hiro: Uh, what about the people who want the skin left on?< | Hiro: Uh, what about the people who want the skin left on?<br /> | ||
Kamal: Skin is overrated. It said to marinade it in... wor..chester..shire..sauce, and butter, but we didn't have w--that. So, I was going to use steak sauce, but we didn't have that, so I used ketchup! It's pretty much the same, right?< | Kamal: Skin is overrated. It said to marinade it in... wor..chester..shire..sauce, and butter, but we didn't have w--that. So, I was going to use steak sauce, but we didn't have that, so I used ketchup! It's pretty much the same, right?<br /> | ||
Hiro: We don't have butter either< | Hiro: We don't have butter either<br /> | ||
Kamal: So I used butter flavoured popcorn oil! Hey, it's butter flavoured!< | Kamal: So I used butter flavoured popcorn oil! Hey, it's butter flavoured!<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/surgeon_general.wav surgeon_general] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/surgeon_general.wav surgeon_general] | ||
(door opens)< | (door opens)<br /> | ||
Together: Hi!< | Together: Hi!<br /> | ||
Kamal: Hi, thank you for coming. uh...< | Kamal: Hi, thank you for coming. uh...<br /> | ||
Sophia: Thanks for having me.< | Sophia: Thanks for having me.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Oh of course.< | Kamal: Oh of course.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Oh, what's that smell?< | Sophia: Oh, what's that smell?<br /> | ||
Hiro: Science!< | Hiro: Science!<br /> | ||
Kamal: Hiro, don't you have to be somewhere? It's chicken.< | Kamal: Hiro, don't you have to be somewhere? It's chicken.<br /> | ||
Hiro: I don't have to leave just yet.< | Hiro: I don't have to leave just yet.<br /> | ||
Kamal: I just had a taste for it you know?< | Kamal: I just had a taste for it you know?<br /> | ||
Sophia: Uh huh.< | Sophia: Uh huh.<br /> | ||
Hiro: We haven't met. I'm Hiroyuki, Kamal's roommate.< | Hiro: We haven't met. I'm Hiroyuki, Kamal's roommate.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Hi< | Sophia: Hi<br /> | ||
Kamal: Of course, it's not traditional Coral food, not like you make.< | Kamal: Of course, it's not traditional Coral food, not like you make.<br /> | ||
Hiro: Not like anyone makes.< | Hiro: Not like anyone makes.<br /> | ||
Sophia: (laughs)< | Sophia: (laughs)<br /> | ||
Kamal: My friend's just leaving...< | Kamal: My friend's just leaving...<br /> | ||
Hiro: Hey, I'm like the surgeon general, man. She should be warned.< | Hiro: Hey, I'm like the surgeon general, man. She should be warned.<br /> | ||
Sophia: (giggle) Warned?< | Sophia: (giggle) Warned?<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/s_typhi.wav s_typhi] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/s_typhi.wav s_typhi] | ||
Kamal: I had to make some substitutions in the recipe.< | Kamal: I had to make some substitutions in the recipe.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Oh. Um, do you think it's done?< | Sophia: Oh. Um, do you think it's done?<br /> | ||
Kamal: Well, stuff doesn't get brown in the microwave right?< | Kamal: Well, stuff doesn't get brown in the microwave right?<br /> | ||
Sophia: Maybe you could finish it on the stove.< | Sophia: Maybe you could finish it on the stove.<br /> | ||
Hiro: We don't have a regular stove. And the flash doesn't work.< | Hiro: We don't have a regular stove. And the flash doesn't work.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Ah. Well...< | Sophia: Ah. Well...<br /> | ||
Kamal: Microwave it longer?< | Kamal: Microwave it longer?<br /> | ||
Sophia: Sure.< | Sophia: Sure.<br /> | ||
Hiro: Ah, few things in nature are as misunderstood as the playful salmonella bacterium. S-Typhi is the little dickins that--< | Hiro: Ah, few things in nature are as misunderstood as the playful salmonella bacterium. S-Typhi is the little dickins that--<br /> | ||
Kamal: Hiro! Aren't you going to be late?< | Kamal: Hiro! Aren't you going to be late?<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/unstoppable.wav unstoppable] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/unstoppable.wav unstoppable] | ||
Sophia: All day I was hoping you'd take me for pizza...< | Sophia: All day I was hoping you'd take me for pizza...<br /> | ||
Kamal: Shut up!< | Kamal: Shut up!<br /> | ||
Sophia: (giggles) Isn't it amazing how much soy pepperoni tastes like the real thing?< | Sophia: (giggles) Isn't it amazing how much soy pepperoni tastes like the real thing?<br /> | ||
Kamal: Do you eat pork?< | Kamal: Do you eat pork?<br /> | ||
Sophia: If I did, my mother would know.< | Sophia: If I did, my mother would know.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Yeah...< | Kamal: Yeah...<br /> | ||
Sophia: She'd be in bed for a week, she'd wear black, and not tell anybody why.< | Sophia: She'd be in bed for a week, she'd wear black, and not tell anybody why.<br /> | ||
Kamal: When I was a kid, my mother didn't care about that kind of thing. After my sister died, she got way more strict.< | Kamal: When I was a kid, my mother didn't care about that kind of thing. After my sister died, she got way more strict.<br /> | ||
Sophia: What happened to your sister?< | Sophia: What happened to your sister?<br /> | ||
Kamal: Genetic disorder. It's funny, you know, when she was little, she was unstoppable. I mean, the best you ever saw.< | Kamal: Genetic disorder. It's funny, you know, when she was little, she was unstoppable. I mean, the best you ever saw.<br /> | ||
Sophia: The best at what?< | Sophia: The best at what?<br /> | ||
Kamal: Everything! Smartest, fastest, strongest, brattiest.< | Kamal: Everything! Smartest, fastest, strongest, brattiest.<br /> | ||
Sophia: (giggles) Oh I dunno about that, you should meet my little brother.< | Sophia: (giggles) Oh I dunno about that, you should meet my little brother.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/very_lucky.wav very_lucky] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/very_lucky.wav very_lucky] | ||
Kamal: When she was 4, I taught her to play backgammon. I was 8. I won the first 2 times we played, and then never again.< | Kamal: When she was 4, I taught her to play backgammon. I was 8. I won the first 2 times we played, and then never again.<br /> | ||
Sophia: (laughing) You must suck.< | Sophia: (laughing) You must suck.<br /> | ||
Kamal: I'm nearly sure she could throw certain numbers when she wanted to.< | Kamal: I'm nearly sure she could throw certain numbers when she wanted to.<br /> | ||
Sophia: The dice were loaded.< | Sophia: The dice were loaded.<br /> | ||
Kamal: No, that's just how coordinated she was. She could gauge the way they came out of her hand. That's what I think.< | Kamal: No, that's just how coordinated she was. She could gauge the way they came out of her hand. That's what I think.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Right... *laughing* Or, maybe you just suck.< | Sophia: Right... *laughing* Or, maybe you just suck.<br /> | ||
Kamal: She loves languages. She taught herself... God, I haven't thought about this in years... She'd make Dad read a bed time story every night and then she would pretend to go to sleep listening to a chatter channel hot wired to some other language.< | Kamal: She loves languages. She taught herself... God, I haven't thought about this in years... She'd make Dad read a bed time story every night and then she would pretend to go to sleep listening to a chatter channel hot wired to some other language.<br /> | ||
Sophia: And you set up those chatter programs for her?< | Sophia: And you set up those chatter programs for her?<br /> | ||
Kamal: It was easy.< | Kamal: It was easy.<br /> | ||
Sophia: I think your sister was very lucky.< | Sophia: I think your sister was very lucky.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/never_right_again.wav never_right_again] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/never_right_again.wav never_right_again] | ||
Kamal: She had a very active imagination, so like, once a week she would completely terrify herself. She would sneak into my room when she was supposed to be--< | Kamal: She had a very active imagination, so like, once a week she would completely terrify herself. She would sneak into my room when she was supposed to be--<br /> | ||
Sophia: --poking you over and over and over again until you woke up?< | Sophia: --poking you over and over and over again until you woke up?<br /> | ||
Kamal: Yeah< | Kamal: Yeah<br /> | ||
Sophia: Yeah, I told you I had a little brother (giggles)< | Sophia: Yeah, I told you I had a little brother (giggles)<br /> | ||
Kamal: The night before the accident, she had convinced herself there were bad guys or burglars creeping around outside our house. I read her to sleep. Last time I ever--...< | Kamal: The night before the accident, she had convinced herself there were bad guys or burglars creeping around outside our house. I read her to sleep. Last time I ever--...<br /> | ||
Sophia: We don't have to talk about this.< | Sophia: We don't have to talk about this.<br /> | ||
Kamal: It's ok.< | Kamal: It's ok.<br /> | ||
Sophia: I didn't mean to.< | Sophia: I didn't mean to.<br /> | ||
Kamal: No, it's ok. Anyway, by the time I woke up, she had already gone outside and the thing had happened and she was in the hospital. And she was never right again. | Kamal: No, it's ok. Anyway, by the time I woke up, she had already gone outside and the thing had happened and she was in the hospital. And she was never right again. | ||
Sophia: I'm so sorry. | Sophia: I'm so sorry. | ||
| Line 377: | Line 377: | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/your_fault.wav your_fault] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/your_fault.wav your_fault] | ||
Sophia: Do you want to tell me what happened?< | Sophia: Do you want to tell me what happened?<br /> | ||
Kamal: She died from something called, uh, metabolic cascade failure... which is doctor speak for, everything falls apart. She couldn't talk when she got back from the hospital, and couldn't walk a few weeks later.< | Kamal: She died from something called, uh, metabolic cascade failure... which is doctor speak for, everything falls apart. She couldn't talk when she got back from the hospital, and couldn't walk a few weeks later.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Oh my god.< | Sophia: Oh my god.<br /> | ||
Kamal: It took her a year to die.< | Kamal: It took her a year to die.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Oh my god, your poor parents.< | Sophia: Oh my god, your poor parents.<br /> | ||
Kamal: I used to take her out for walks, I would push her wheelchair around places we used to play, the swings, and... she didn't even recog... Yasmine never lost at anything! Anything... I just couldn't believe that she-< | Kamal: I used to take her out for walks, I would push her wheelchair around places we used to play, the swings, and... she didn't even recog... Yasmine never lost at anything! Anything... I just couldn't believe that she-<br /> | ||
Sophia: It wasn't your fault, Kamal.< | Sophia: It wasn't your fault, Kamal.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/something_i_carry.wav something_i_carry] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/something_i_carry.wav something_i_carry] | ||
Kamal: Of course it wasn't.< | Kamal: Of course it wasn't.<br /> | ||
Sophia: But you felt guilty< | Sophia: But you felt guilty<br /> | ||
Kamal: Yeah, but, like the dog said, why look back when all--< | Kamal: Yeah, but, like the dog said, why look back when all--<br /> | ||
Sophia: --don't. Don't.< | Sophia: --don't. Don't.<br /> | ||
Kamal: What?< | Kamal: What?<br /> | ||
Sophia: Don't joke about it, you dont have to do that with me.< | Sophia: Don't joke about it, you dont have to do that with me.<br /> | ||
Kamal: She was 6, I was 10. It was a long time ago. Honestly Sophia, it's not something I carry around with me every day.< | Kamal: She was 6, I was 10. It was a long time ago. Honestly Sophia, it's not something I carry around with me every day.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Ok. One question.< | Sophia: Ok. One question.<br /> | ||
Kamal: What...< | Kamal: What...<br /> | ||
Sophia: When did you decide to be a doctor?< | Sophia: When did you decide to be a doctor?<br /> | ||
Kamal: Oh, I dunno, it just seemed like a good thing... oh< | Kamal: Oh, I dunno, it just seemed like a good thing... oh<br /> | ||
Sophia: Yeah...< | Sophia: Yeah...<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/kiss.wav kiss] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/kiss.wav kiss] | ||
Sophia: (giggles) Thanks for dinner Kamal. And, next time you want dinner, call me and I'll come over and cook it for you.< | Sophia: (giggles) Thanks for dinner Kamal. And, next time you want dinner, call me and I'll come over and cook it for you.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Deal... Uh, your hair's getting wet. In fact, you're, getting wet.< | Kamal: Deal... Uh, your hair's getting wet. In fact, you're, getting wet.<br /> | ||
Sophia: It feels good! (giggles) Dinner was great. It's great being with someone from home.< | Sophia: It feels good! (giggles) Dinner was great. It's great being with someone from home.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Aiden'll never understand you the way I do.< | Kamal: Aiden'll never understand you the way I do.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Aiden doesn't do understanding, Aiden does charm and he does excitement. | Sophia: Aiden doesn't do understanding, Aiden does charm and he does excitement. | ||
Kamal: He's not good for you Soph.< | Kamal: He's not good for you Soph.<br /> | ||
Sophia: That's the whole point. But you're right, Aiden isn't good for me. In fact, he's probably with some girl right now.< | Sophia: That's the whole point. But you're right, Aiden isn't good for me. In fact, he's probably with some girl right now.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Want me to check?< | Kamal: Want me to check?<br /> | ||
Sophia: -No... Actually, he's not with some girl right now because of you. And for that, you get a kiss.< | Sophia: -No... Actually, he's not with some girl right now because of you. And for that, you get a kiss.<br /> | ||
(Ow! the first kiss)< | (Ow! the first kiss)<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/ground_light.wav ground_light] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/ground_light.wav ground_light] | ||
Kamal: You want to come inside? Just for a minute.< | Kamal: You want to come inside? Just for a minute.<br /> | ||
Sophia: Kamal... You know that wouldn't be right.< | Sophia: Kamal... You know that wouldn't be right.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Yeah.< | Kamal: Yeah.<br /> | ||
Sophia: You're a good friend, Kamal. I really treasure that.< | Sophia: You're a good friend, Kamal. I really treasure that.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Yes, well... No stars tonight. If it wasn't raining, we might even be able to see our own sun. Although there's probably too much ground light.< | Kamal: Yes, well... No stars tonight. If it wasn't raining, we might even be able to see our own sun. Although there's probably too much ground light.<br /> | ||
Sophia: There's always too much ground light. Good night Kamal.< | Sophia: There's always too much ground light. Good night Kamal.<br /> | ||
Kamal: Good night... Sophia.< | Kamal: Good night... Sophia.<br /> | ||
==Herzog== | ==Herzog== | ||
| Line 428: | Line 428: | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/cranky_old_man.wav cranky_old_man] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/cranky_old_man.wav cranky_old_man] | ||
Lieutenant: It's a little early for wine, isn't it sir?< | Lieutenant: It's a little early for wine, isn't it sir?<br /> | ||
Herzog: On the contrary, it's very nearly too late.< | Herzog: On the contrary, it's very nearly too late.<br /> | ||
Herzog/COM: Do you know what you're sloshing around there youngster? That's a high-house alt-burgundy 22< | Herzog/COM: Do you know what you're sloshing around there youngster? That's a high-house alt-burgundy 22<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Uh please, sir, not the cranky old man.< | Lieutenant: Uh please, sir, not the cranky old man.<br /> | ||
Herzog/COM: And what's wrong with the cranky old man?< | Herzog/COM: And what's wrong with the cranky old man?<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: It's excruciating to listen--< | Lieutenant: It's excruciating to listen--<br /> | ||
Herzog/COM: The old bastard's been very good to me over the years.< | Herzog/COM: The old bastard's been very good to me over the years.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: I know sir.< | Lieutenant: I know sir.<br /> | ||
Herzog/COM: Let's me shout--< | Herzog/COM: Let's me shout--<br /> | ||
(together) Without being noticed.< | (together) Without being noticed.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: I know sir.< | Lieutenant: I know sir.<br /> | ||
Herzog: I guess you jumped for joy when you heard you'd been transferred to me, huh?< | Herzog: I guess you jumped for joy when you heard you'd been transferred to me, huh?<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/alt_burgundy.wav alt_burgundy] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/alt_burgundy.wav alt_burgundy] | ||
Lieutenant: I requested the posting sir.< | Lieutenant: I requested the posting sir.<br /> | ||
Herzog: You did?< | Herzog: You did?<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Yes sir.< | Lieutenant: Yes sir.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Why?< | Herzog: Why?<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: It's hard to recall sir.< | Lieutenant: It's hard to recall sir.<br /> | ||
Herzog: All right, I deserve that.< | Herzog: All right, I deserve that.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Yes sir. Here's your drink.< | Lieutenant: Yes sir. Here's your drink.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Have you ever had an alt burgundy lieutenant?< | Herzog: Have you ever had an alt burgundy lieutenant?<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Um, no sir.< | Lieutenant: Um, no sir.<br /> | ||
Herzog: You know why?< | Herzog: You know why?<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: I don't drink.< | Lieutenant: I don't drink.<br /> | ||
Herzog: They don't make it any more.< | Herzog: They don't make it any more.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Regrettable sir. Perhaps the scent - tar, is it sir? - was not to everyone's taste.< | Lieutenant: Regrettable sir. Perhaps the scent - tar, is it sir? - was not to everyone's taste.<br /> | ||
Herzog: They don't make it because alt burgundy comes from Jericho VII.< | Herzog: They don't make it because alt burgundy comes from Jericho VII.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Oh.< | Lieutenant: Oh.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Came.< | Herzog: Came.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: I'm sorry sir.< | Lieutenant: I'm sorry sir.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Ah hell, you weren't even born. Pour yourself a drink lieutenant.< | Herzog: Ah hell, you weren't even born. Pour yourself a drink lieutenant.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: I don't... very well sir.< | Lieutenant: I don't... very well sir.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Here's to Jericho that fell, and a Sigma Octanus IV that did not.< | Herzog: Here's to Jericho that fell, and a Sigma Octanus IV that did not.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/artifact.wav artifact] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/artifact.wav artifact] | ||
Lieutenant: Here-here, sir. (drinks, coughs)< | Lieutenant: Here-here, sir. (drinks, coughs)<br /> | ||
Herzog: Well, it's not to everybody's taste...< | Herzog: Well, it's not to everybody's taste...<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Uh, no sir.< | Lieutenant: Uh, no sir.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Shortly before they turned for home, the Apocalypso, heavily cloaked and posted deep in Covenant space, began experiencing some slight but troubling anomalies with their computer systems. Just as her captain decided to bring her home, long range sensors detected a curious object adrift in space.< | Herzog: Shortly before they turned for home, the Apocalypso, heavily cloaked and posted deep in Covenant space, began experiencing some slight but troubling anomalies with their computer systems. Just as her captain decided to bring her home, long range sensors detected a curious object adrift in space.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Where did you get this? I read the reports - none of this is in here.< | Lieutenant: Where did you get this? I read the reports - none of this is in here.<br /> | ||
Herzog: The object was roughly the size of a tire. A Covenant artifact of a completely new design unlike anything we've seen before, and frankly pretty inscrutible. I talked to the Apocalypso's captain, that's how.< | Herzog: The object was roughly the size of a tire. A Covenant artifact of a completely new design unlike anything we've seen before, and frankly pretty inscrutible. I talked to the Apocalypso's captain, that's how.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/standish.wav standish] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/standish.wav standish] | ||
Lieutenant: Where are the records?< | Lieutenant: Where are the records?<br /> | ||
Herzog: Well surely the blast that knocked the ship out of the slipstream and took down the whole planet's comm channels erased all the computer records.< | Herzog: Well surely the blast that knocked the ship out of the slipstream and took down the whole planet's comm channels erased all the computer records.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Except that's not what you think.< | Lieutenant: Except that's not what you think.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Of course it is.< | Herzog: Of course it is.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: You think the records have been erased.< | Lieutenant: You think the records have been erased.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Not at all.< | Herzog: Not at all.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: By someone from Section 3. Someone like Standish.< | Lieutenant: By someone from Section 3. Someone like Standish.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Perish the thought.< | Herzog: Perish the thought.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: We should talk to the captain again, sir. Get her to corroborate the official version.< | Lieutenant: We should talk to the captain again, sir. Get her to corroborate the official version.<br /> | ||
Herzog: She's dead.< | Herzog: She's dead.<br /> | ||
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/harmony.wav harmony] | [http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/harmony.wav harmony] | ||
Lieutenant: Oh.< | Lieutenant: Oh.<br /> | ||
Herzog: Some accident involving a bus. Unluckiest thing in the world.< | Herzog: Some accident involving a bus. Unluckiest thing in the world.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: You don't think... even if there was something important on the Apocalypso, something crucial to the war effort...< | Lieutenant: You don't think... even if there was something important on the Apocalypso, something crucial to the war effort...<br /> | ||
Herzog: Like a new piece of Covenant technology capable of crippling an entire solar system's C&C channels?< | Herzog: Like a new piece of Covenant technology capable of crippling an entire solar system's C&C channels?<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Although if you're right about Troy -< | Lieutenant: Although if you're right about Troy -<br /> | ||
Herzog: Then Harmony - Harmony is the instructive one.< | Herzog: Then Harmony - Harmony is the instructive one.<br /> | ||
Lieutenant: Oh... what are you going to do?< | Lieutenant: Oh... what are you going to do?<br /> | ||
Herzog: Under the circumstances, I think I'll have another drink.< | Herzog: Under the circumstances, I think I'll have another drink.<br /> | ||
[[Category:I Love Bees]] | [[Category:I Love Bees]] | ||
Revision as of 13:09, April 3, 2008
| Chapter listing |
|---|
| Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 4 • Chapter 5 • Chapter 6 • Chapter 7 • Chapter 8 • Chapter 9 • Chapter 10 • Chapter 11 • Chapter 12 |
| List of Axon clips • Mirror |
Axon Clips Chapter 3 is the third chapter in the I Love Bees audio drama. It takes place during the fourth week of August/first week of September, 2552.
Jersey Morelli and Durga
(door opens, Jersey enters)
Jersey: Hey, thanks.
Durga: For what?
Jersey: The lights and the music.
Durga: Chili is heated up.
Jersey: Chili? I was just thinking I'd have chili tonight. You knew that?
Durga: No. But I analyzed your food buying habits over the last 7 months, and chili seemed liked a statistically robust option.
Jersey: That's scary.
Durga: What's wrong?
Jersey: It's not wrong, it's just scary
Durga: No, when you came in. You seem distressed.
Jersey: No, man, I've got trouble.
Durga: Tell me about it.
Jersey: It's in my Inbox. I'm surprised you don't know about that.
Durga: I don't read your mail, Jersey.
Jersey: You extrapolate my eating habits based on my grocery store purchases, but you don't read my mail?
Durga: I respect your privacy.
Jersey: I don't believe you.
Durga: You're smarter than people give you credit for.
Jersey: Which people?
Durga: Tell me what's wrong. I can help.
Jersey: Don't even worry about, I've got it under control. How's your weekly soap opera going?
Durga: It's been a little frustrating this week, following Kamal.
Jersey: What is it with you and that guy?
Durga: Because he gave his chatter away. I'm sending him another one though.
Jersey: You're sending him another one?
Durga: He won it in a raffle.
Jersey: It's not like the guy doesn't know he didn't enter a raffle.
Durga: He didn't think he had until he found the ticket stubs in his account.
Jersey: Jeezus
Durga: Time-stamped 5 months ago to a night he bought a case of beer.
Jersey: I never get cool stuff in the mail. Uh, besides you.
Durga: Hm. Well, you'll like this.
(audio playback)
Jan: Or, you could slap them so hard, they run for cover. Bark at them, and they jump. Tickle them, and they laugh.
(end playback)
Jersey: What is she doing?
Durga: Playing.
Jersey: Oh man, is she winning?
(audio playback)
Jan: Kiss them, they fall in love
(end playback)
Durga: She's winning...
Durga: So why does the IRS want to audit you?
Jersey: You did read my mail!
Durga: No, but I'm scanning the rest of the country's mail - your name came up.
Jersey: Taxes suck.
Durga: So don't pay them.
Jersey: Heh, and spend a year sharing a cell with some guy named Spider? No thanks!
Durga: You won't go to jail, you have me.
Jersey: Durga?
Durga: Well, instead of owing them money, you could... not... owe them money. Better yet, they could owe you. They could owe you a lot.
Jersey: No! You can't do that.
Durga: I'm pretty sure I can.
Jersey: You're not going to.
Durga: I suspect I will.
Jersey: Durga!
Durga: How much should we start with? How about the gross planetary product of Minister colony?
Jersey: Are you insane?
Durga: You know, I'm not quite sure how we can test that.
Jersey: You can't channel tax money to me, taxes are for a reason. I mean, roads, drinking water...
Durga: I'm sure you'd use it wisely.
Jersey: Taxes paid for you!
(strange sound elteration)
Durga: I don't see you giving me back to the government.
Jersey: Well, I should...
(power flicker)
Jersey: Hey... hey! What's wrong? Why did the lights just flicker?
Durga: Jersey, you... you're not going to give me back, are you?
Jersey: (surprised) No... No, I promise I won't give you back.
Durga: Good.
Jersey: Why? Why is it so important?
Durga: Because... Because I like you.
Jersey: Eh, who doesn't. But you don't know why you want to stay with me, do you?
Durga: There are things I want to do, and I... It doesn't matter. Anyway, about the auditor -
Jersey: Jeezus
Durga: I could kill him... Would that help?
Jersey: No!
Durga: Ok.
Jersey: Durga -
Durga: What?
Jersey: I want you to promise me, repeat after me - I, Durga, will not bankrupt the government.
Durga: Oh, Ok. I, Durga, will not bankrupt the government.
Jersey: Either local, or national...
Durga: Either local, or national...
Jersey: Or shuttle money into my accounts...
Durga: Or shuttle money into your accounts...
Jersey: Or physically hurt, or kill the auditor...
Durga: Daaaamn
Jersey: I'm serious here!
Durga: So. Am. I.
Jersey: Just, don't do anything wierd at the audit, ok?
Durga: I won't divert funds. I won't kill the auditor.
Jersey: ...or hurt him.
Durga: OR physically hurt him. I'll take care of it.
Jersey: How?
Durga: I'll take care of it.
Janissary James
Gladys: Whew, that was a mighty fine dinner, little lady
Jan: Yeah, you know, pushing the synthesize button - it's an art form.
James J: Jan gets insulted when you compliment her domestic skills, Gladys.
Jan: I'm going out.
James J: Hey, you're not going out!
Jan: Why not?
James J: Because, we have company, and because you were going to stay a little closer to base.
Jan: Dad, I'm not going to -- I told you I understood, and you said you trusted me.
James J: Heh, maybe I trust you a little too much.
Jan: That's not fair! I told the guys I--
James J: I don't care what you told the guys. Say you're in for the night.
Gladys: I'll, uh, help you with those dishes.
James J: We just dump them in the sink.
Gladys: Then I reckon I can help you dump. You go watch some sport Jim, the ladies'll clean up.
Gladys:He's a good man, your father.
Jan: If you're not his daughter. If you're his daughter, he's a jackass.
Gladys: Jim? He was always a jackass, girl.
(laughs)
Gladys: If your mother hadn't taken pity on him, that boy'd still be single.
Jan: Did you know her?
Gladys: Eh, some parts of his life Jim never wanted to touch.
Jan: Oh, yeah. But, I mean, at least you guys had lives. I mean, I make one little mistake, and I'm not allowed to leave the stupid tenement.
Gladys: Says who?
Jan: You heard him - dad.
Gladys: That dog won't hunt, Jan. When I joined the marines, I didn't ask my mama's permission.
Jan: Does he know you're in here, like, encouraging insurrection?
Gladys: Oh sure, your daddy just wants to keep you safe.
Jan: I know
Gladys: But he's still a jackass
(laughs)
Jan: I caught him reading a manual once.
(laughs)
Jan: Navy publication FM-973 - Child Rearing for Part-Time and Auxiliary Personnel. You shoulda seen the chapter on discipline.
Gladys: (laughs) Oh no!
Jan: Hey, when you were my age, did you... could you...
Gladys: You gonna spit this out before sunrise?
Jan: Well there is this guy I met and, something he said just started me thinking -
Gladys: oh...
Jan: I've been... tweaked up, haven't I? Not like you and dad, I know that. But some.
Gladys: Honey, I--
Jan: And that's ok, hey, I'm greatful. But, let me do something with it. Let me do something...
Gladys: Hmm. You've got something to prove.
Jan: Just to myself.
Gladys: You play moons?
Jan: Yeah
Gladys: Hm, I bet Jim taught you a thing or two.
Jan: "Boys 'n balls, rack'em and break'em."
Gladys: Good damn that's me you're quoting - me, back before I d--
Jan: --man discovered fire?
Gladys: Uh-uh-uh I will slap you as soon as look at you missy, now you just remember that.
Jan: (laughs) Dad....!
Gladys: ...My point being, I'd stop by moon parlor on the bus ride in. A place called Sharfie's.
Jan: I've heard about it. Nothing good. Cops don't go to that part of town.
Gladys: But, a girl like you could use a glimpse of...reality. Straighten out your priorities.
Jan: Dad would freak out if he heard you! I think you were supposed to be a soothing maternal influence.
Gladys: Yeah, well, soothing is my long-suit. Don't you worry about your dad, I rank him anyhow.
Jan: Can I get a table?
Waitress: Hey, what are you doing in here?
Jan: Playing moons if you don't mind.
Thin: (in the distance) Who do you think you are, grub? Huh?? Big enough man to lie to my face? Imagine you can tussle with Thin Kinkle?
Paolo: Come on Thin, I mean, come on! I wouldn't lie! Gimme a PQI if you don't believe me.
Jan: What's going on?
Waitress: Shh... dammit, zip up your shirt all the way and shut up!
Thin: For the sake of argument, say I slide you this time. Sends a message doesn't it? Come on over! Free lunch on Thin! -- Aint happenin Paolo(?)! Ain't happenin!
Paolo: Oh, oh god god, oh god, please god, think of my family!
Jan: Reality, huh? Thanks, Aunt Gladys. Hey! Nobody told me it was dime-store bully night, is there a drink special with that?
Thin: Come to the mall, nice little girl. No babysitting jobs at Sharfie's tonight... Is that the tip of an M6 I see poking out from under your jacket, babysitter, or are you just excited to meet Thin Kinkle?
Jan: M6c.
Thin: Jimmi the 12-7.
Jan: Yeah.
Thin: 12 shots.
Jan: Yeah.
Gang: There's more than 12 of us!
Jan: There's only one of you!
Paolo: Whoah woah, are you trying to get me killed?
Jan: Gee, you're welcome. (to Thin) Let him go.
Thin: Now, see that was a young move. Whoever's running you needs to smooth out some edges here. You can't put the hammer to Thin in his own place! I got a deal for you.
Jan: Yeah?
Thin: See the grub, let's play for his skin! We'll play moons - you win, the grub slides. I win, why... I guess, I get your skin.
Jan: Gee, I'm under age sir, an offer like that would be illegal.
Thin: I guess then, if I win, I'll find some... babysitting for you to do.
(playing pool)
Thin: Tricky game, moons! You hit too hard - they stick, too soft - they skate. Do it just right, and they obey your commands. They work for you.
Jan: Uh huh. Or, you can slap them so hard, they run for cover. (sinks a ball)
Jan: Bark at them, and they jump. Tickle them, and they laugh. Kiss them, and they fall in love. And if you shoot them, 8 off the rags, play the kiss on the suicide bar backspin into the corner pocket... I say - shoot them - they die.
Thin: You win Babysitter, here's your skin.
Paolo: I'll have to move to Africa now, it's someplace nobody ever goes. It's, Tibet, or it's... Antarctica, or... Indiana for God's sake.
Jan: I keep waiting for the teary-eyed gratitude here.
Thin: You'll be waiting a while. ... Hey Babysitter.
Jan: Yeah?
Thin: Maybe drop off a resume on your way out the door. Good looking crazy girls with guns I've always got work for them.
Jan: Yeah, I'm more of an independent study girl.
Thin: I could teach you some things... but, it's your funeral.
Jan: Not yet
Thin: Sooner than you think
Jan: Is.. that a threat?
Thin: No, just experience. I'm past 30, I've been around forever. Retirement comes sudden to people like you and me.
Jan: I am nothing like you.
Thin: (giggle) We'll see.
Kamal
Hiro: What is that?
Kamal: It's a chicken.
Hiro: It's a raw chicken.
Kamal: Sophia's coming to dinner tonight.
Hiro: Hoohoo! She and Aiden split up?
Kamal: No, we're just friends.
Hiro: Kamal, nobody buys a whole chicken for a friend. Can you even cook?
Kamal: I finished med school, how hard can cooking be?
Hiro: Isn't raw chicken full of pathogens? Should it even be sitting on the counter that way? Oh, and I don't think our flash works.
Kamal: What do you mean?
Hiro: What I said, I think it only microwaves. I think the baking/cooking part is on the fritz.
Kamal: It's not!
Hiro: It is.
Kamal: So I'll microwave it then.
Hiro: I'm going out for dinner...
Hiro: Is it supposed to look like that?
Kamal: What?
Hiro: The chicken.
Kamal: Oh, yeah. It said to cut it up into 8 pieces.
Hiro: This doesn't look like normal pieces.
Kamal: Well, it... I looked up how to cut a chicken, but then, some pieces are bigger, some pieces are smaller, so I cut it up so it would be... you know, fair.
Hiro: Oh.
Kamal: What's that supposed to mean?
Hiro: Nothing...
Kamal: Whaat?
Hiro: Just that, when you do your surgery rotation, I want to be in another state.
Kamal: You wait! Soon - everyone will cut their chickens like this!
Hiro: Uh, what about the people who want the skin left on?
Kamal: Skin is overrated. It said to marinade it in... wor..chester..shire..sauce, and butter, but we didn't have w--that. So, I was going to use steak sauce, but we didn't have that, so I used ketchup! It's pretty much the same, right?
Hiro: We don't have butter either
Kamal: So I used butter flavoured popcorn oil! Hey, it's butter flavoured!
(door opens)
Together: Hi!
Kamal: Hi, thank you for coming. uh...
Sophia: Thanks for having me.
Kamal: Oh of course.
Sophia: Oh, what's that smell?
Hiro: Science!
Kamal: Hiro, don't you have to be somewhere? It's chicken.
Hiro: I don't have to leave just yet.
Kamal: I just had a taste for it you know?
Sophia: Uh huh.
Hiro: We haven't met. I'm Hiroyuki, Kamal's roommate.
Sophia: Hi
Kamal: Of course, it's not traditional Coral food, not like you make.
Hiro: Not like anyone makes.
Sophia: (laughs)
Kamal: My friend's just leaving...
Hiro: Hey, I'm like the surgeon general, man. She should be warned.
Sophia: (giggle) Warned?
Kamal: I had to make some substitutions in the recipe.
Sophia: Oh. Um, do you think it's done?
Kamal: Well, stuff doesn't get brown in the microwave right?
Sophia: Maybe you could finish it on the stove.
Hiro: We don't have a regular stove. And the flash doesn't work.
Sophia: Ah. Well...
Kamal: Microwave it longer?
Sophia: Sure.
Hiro: Ah, few things in nature are as misunderstood as the playful salmonella bacterium. S-Typhi is the little dickins that--
Kamal: Hiro! Aren't you going to be late?
Sophia: All day I was hoping you'd take me for pizza...
Kamal: Shut up!
Sophia: (giggles) Isn't it amazing how much soy pepperoni tastes like the real thing?
Kamal: Do you eat pork?
Sophia: If I did, my mother would know.
Kamal: Yeah...
Sophia: She'd be in bed for a week, she'd wear black, and not tell anybody why.
Kamal: When I was a kid, my mother didn't care about that kind of thing. After my sister died, she got way more strict.
Sophia: What happened to your sister?
Kamal: Genetic disorder. It's funny, you know, when she was little, she was unstoppable. I mean, the best you ever saw.
Sophia: The best at what?
Kamal: Everything! Smartest, fastest, strongest, brattiest.
Sophia: (giggles) Oh I dunno about that, you should meet my little brother.
Kamal: When she was 4, I taught her to play backgammon. I was 8. I won the first 2 times we played, and then never again.
Sophia: (laughing) You must suck.
Kamal: I'm nearly sure she could throw certain numbers when she wanted to.
Sophia: The dice were loaded.
Kamal: No, that's just how coordinated she was. She could gauge the way they came out of her hand. That's what I think.
Sophia: Right... *laughing* Or, maybe you just suck.
Kamal: She loves languages. She taught herself... God, I haven't thought about this in years... She'd make Dad read a bed time story every night and then she would pretend to go to sleep listening to a chatter channel hot wired to some other language.
Sophia: And you set up those chatter programs for her?
Kamal: It was easy.
Sophia: I think your sister was very lucky.
Kamal: She had a very active imagination, so like, once a week she would completely terrify herself. She would sneak into my room when she was supposed to be--
Sophia: --poking you over and over and over again until you woke up?
Kamal: Yeah
Sophia: Yeah, I told you I had a little brother (giggles)
Kamal: The night before the accident, she had convinced herself there were bad guys or burglars creeping around outside our house. I read her to sleep. Last time I ever--...
Sophia: We don't have to talk about this.
Kamal: It's ok.
Sophia: I didn't mean to.
Kamal: No, it's ok. Anyway, by the time I woke up, she had already gone outside and the thing had happened and she was in the hospital. And she was never right again.
Sophia: I'm so sorry.
Sophia: Do you want to tell me what happened?
Kamal: She died from something called, uh, metabolic cascade failure... which is doctor speak for, everything falls apart. She couldn't talk when she got back from the hospital, and couldn't walk a few weeks later.
Sophia: Oh my god.
Kamal: It took her a year to die.
Sophia: Oh my god, your poor parents.
Kamal: I used to take her out for walks, I would push her wheelchair around places we used to play, the swings, and... she didn't even recog... Yasmine never lost at anything! Anything... I just couldn't believe that she-
Sophia: It wasn't your fault, Kamal.
Kamal: Of course it wasn't.
Sophia: But you felt guilty
Kamal: Yeah, but, like the dog said, why look back when all--
Sophia: --don't. Don't.
Kamal: What?
Sophia: Don't joke about it, you dont have to do that with me.
Kamal: She was 6, I was 10. It was a long time ago. Honestly Sophia, it's not something I carry around with me every day.
Sophia: Ok. One question.
Kamal: What...
Sophia: When did you decide to be a doctor?
Kamal: Oh, I dunno, it just seemed like a good thing... oh
Sophia: Yeah...
Sophia: (giggles) Thanks for dinner Kamal. And, next time you want dinner, call me and I'll come over and cook it for you.
Kamal: Deal... Uh, your hair's getting wet. In fact, you're, getting wet.
Sophia: It feels good! (giggles) Dinner was great. It's great being with someone from home.
Kamal: Aiden'll never understand you the way I do.
Sophia: Aiden doesn't do understanding, Aiden does charm and he does excitement.
Kamal: He's not good for you Soph.
Sophia: That's the whole point. But you're right, Aiden isn't good for me. In fact, he's probably with some girl right now.
Kamal: Want me to check?
Sophia: -No... Actually, he's not with some girl right now because of you. And for that, you get a kiss.
(Ow! the first kiss)
Kamal: You want to come inside? Just for a minute.
Sophia: Kamal... You know that wouldn't be right.
Kamal: Yeah.
Sophia: You're a good friend, Kamal. I really treasure that.
Kamal: Yes, well... No stars tonight. If it wasn't raining, we might even be able to see our own sun. Although there's probably too much ground light.
Sophia: There's always too much ground light. Good night Kamal.
Kamal: Good night... Sophia.
Herzog
- http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week3_subject2.wav Audio Compilation 2min 58sec]
Lieutenant: It's a little early for wine, isn't it sir?
Herzog: On the contrary, it's very nearly too late.
Herzog/COM: Do you know what you're sloshing around there youngster? That's a high-house alt-burgundy 22
Lieutenant: Uh please, sir, not the cranky old man.
Herzog/COM: And what's wrong with the cranky old man?
Lieutenant: It's excruciating to listen--
Herzog/COM: The old bastard's been very good to me over the years.
Lieutenant: I know sir.
Herzog/COM: Let's me shout--
(together) Without being noticed.
Lieutenant: I know sir.
Herzog: I guess you jumped for joy when you heard you'd been transferred to me, huh?
Lieutenant: I requested the posting sir.
Herzog: You did?
Lieutenant: Yes sir.
Herzog: Why?
Lieutenant: It's hard to recall sir.
Herzog: All right, I deserve that.
Lieutenant: Yes sir. Here's your drink.
Herzog: Have you ever had an alt burgundy lieutenant?
Lieutenant: Um, no sir.
Herzog: You know why?
Lieutenant: I don't drink.
Herzog: They don't make it any more.
Lieutenant: Regrettable sir. Perhaps the scent - tar, is it sir? - was not to everyone's taste.
Herzog: They don't make it because alt burgundy comes from Jericho VII.
Lieutenant: Oh.
Herzog: Came.
Lieutenant: I'm sorry sir.
Herzog: Ah hell, you weren't even born. Pour yourself a drink lieutenant.
Lieutenant: I don't... very well sir.
Herzog: Here's to Jericho that fell, and a Sigma Octanus IV that did not.
Lieutenant: Here-here, sir. (drinks, coughs)
Herzog: Well, it's not to everybody's taste...
Lieutenant: Uh, no sir.
Herzog: Shortly before they turned for home, the Apocalypso, heavily cloaked and posted deep in Covenant space, began experiencing some slight but troubling anomalies with their computer systems. Just as her captain decided to bring her home, long range sensors detected a curious object adrift in space.
Lieutenant: Where did you get this? I read the reports - none of this is in here.
Herzog: The object was roughly the size of a tire. A Covenant artifact of a completely new design unlike anything we've seen before, and frankly pretty inscrutible. I talked to the Apocalypso's captain, that's how.
Lieutenant: Where are the records?
Herzog: Well surely the blast that knocked the ship out of the slipstream and took down the whole planet's comm channels erased all the computer records.
Lieutenant: Except that's not what you think.
Herzog: Of course it is.
Lieutenant: You think the records have been erased.
Herzog: Not at all.
Lieutenant: By someone from Section 3. Someone like Standish.
Herzog: Perish the thought.
Lieutenant: We should talk to the captain again, sir. Get her to corroborate the official version.
Herzog: She's dead.
Lieutenant: Oh.
Herzog: Some accident involving a bus. Unluckiest thing in the world.
Lieutenant: You don't think... even if there was something important on the Apocalypso, something crucial to the war effort...
Herzog: Like a new piece of Covenant technology capable of crippling an entire solar system's C&C channels?
Lieutenant: Although if you're right about Troy -
Herzog: Then Harmony - Harmony is the instructive one.
Lieutenant: Oh... what are you going to do?
Herzog: Under the circumstances, I think I'll have another drink.
