User:Subtank/Other/archive

Types of Gamers Parody

The Damsel

Undeniably plucky of character but ultimately ineffectual excess baggage that constantly needs rescuing, reviving, retrieving and/or resuscitating. Co-op 'damsels' have none of the redeeming characteristics of the traditional 'damsel in distress' image. That is, they aren't vulnerable maidens all tied up and waiting for a hero, but are just men that aren't very good at games.

The Slow Reader

Recently made unpopular thanks to the likes of Resident Evil 5, Gears of War 2 and any other co-op game that likes to leave journals and diary entries scattered about. Slow readers love to read absolutely everything. Slowly. And sometimes twice. They believe that taking time out during an intense shooter to properly digest several screens of text is an integral part of the experience. Literate people have never been so annoying.

The Glitch Finder

Ignores the game in favour of accessing supposedly inaccessible areas and generally trying to exploit broken bits of the game to their advantage. This means that they spend all of their time bouncing up and down on bits of the environment like a demented jack-in-the-box and generally behaving as though a fairly essential section of their brain has been removed.

The Blamer

Suffers from a complete inability to admit personal culpability, instead choosing to finger-point and fabricate mistruths to cover their own ineptitude. Blamers are masters of creative bullshitting and can effortlessly deflect accusations of weak gaming skills with frightening efficiency. Typical favoured scapegoats of blamers often include: inadequate co-op partners ("f***ing noobs"), technical deficiencies ("f***ing lag") and acts of God ("f***ing swarm of killer bees").

The Mute

Very reluctant talker. Sessions with a mute can be surreal affairs, often tinged with a pervading sense of creepiness thanks to the deafening headset silence. A mute will occasionally offer a primitive mumble, grunt or noisy nasal exhalation. Actual spoken words are extremely rare, monosyllabic and only uttered when a lesser form of audible communication isn't effective enough. Has less personality than an AI team-mate. Feels like playing with a stalker.

The gobshite

The motor-mouthed antithesis of the mute. There are plenty of friendly, good-natured gobshites out there that just like to natter, but we're not talking about them. We're specifically talking about the smack-talking gobshites that relentlessly vomit unfunny and offensive mouth waste. They might be able to nail a headshot from a hundred paces, but there's no fun in winning when you're teamed-up with one of these nasty little sphincter stains.

The Griefer

Playful jokers or irritating twats? If they're 'playing' on your side then they do, without doubt, always belong in the latter category. There's nothing like being on the wrong end of a griefer's pranks to make you rage like a mental pissed-up wasp with hypertension trapped in the world's most cramped jam jar. It can ruin your day. Conversely, to cheer yourself up again, watching griefers making other gamers' lives a misery can be quite the tonic. Strange.

The Lone Wolf

Completely oblivious of and inconsiderate to other players. Their actions are dictated by their own needs and whims. They selfishly grab all the best pick-ups and have absolutely no hesitation in abandoning team-mates. They never listen to tactics and don't have even the faintest interest in playing as a group or partnership. A lone wolf firmly believes that 'team' is spelt 'teiam' and thinks 'co-operation' is a surgery-based board game. An example of this is the infamous "Leroy Jenkins" from the online game of World of Warcraft where Leroy runs into a large room full of dragons despite his teams tactics ultimately killing them.

The Drill Sergeant

Likes to shout a lot and is intensely serious. Plays like there are actual real human lives at stake. Pretends to be well acquainted with the fundaments of tactical military manoeuvre and loves barking things like "FORM UP PINCER FORMATION!", "EXECUTE FLANK MANOEUVRE!" and "LET'S HIT 'EM HARD PEOPLE!" at bewildered team-mates. Would almost certainly be scared shitless if they actually went within 100 miles of a real-life war zone.

Types of Girl Gamer Stereotypes

The "Grrl" Girl

  • How they get attention: Doing everything we do.
  • Where to find them: Interweb netsites, claiming to be Serious Business

The Obsessive Cosplayer

  • How they get attention: Elaborate, revealing costumes
  • Where to find them: At conventions, being followed by drooling fanboys

The "Yeah, I'm a girl, but I'll kick your arse" Girl

  • How they get attention: By calling attention to their hardcoreness
  • Where to find them: Competitive gaming tourneys, LAN parties

The Clueless Japanophile

  • How they get attention: By being nerdier than thou
  • Where to find them: Browsing manga at your local bookstore

The "Tries to like games" Girl

  • How they get attention: By failing every song in Rock Band
  • Where to find them: Tagging along with your friends

The Casually Casual

  • How they get attention: By hogging your PC or Wii
  • Where to find them: In your living room at 4 AM with an empty bottle of wine

The Celebugamer

  • How they get attention: By being paid to get attention
  • Where to find them: Commercials

Halopedia Trading Card Game

CommanderTony
 
HP: 462
YOU GOT FUCKING B& - Your
target has been smashed to a
red paste in a swift fashion.

Please Shut the Fuck Up - Your
target is now unable to act for
the next five turns.

Manticore
 
HP: 173
Srs Admonin Bznz - Everything
about your target is erased,
even memories of your target in
other people's minds are erased.

Troll Speak - Your target is
stunned while it tries to decipher
what Manticore has said. (2x
multiplier if Ghost Sangheili is
active).

RelentlessRecusant
 
HP: 273
Neuroscience Lecture - All of
your opponent's active cards
are now asleep, and will be for
quiet some time.

Beware the Cabal - Your
target and his/her family have
mysteriously vanished, but people
know better than to question why.

Simon rjh
 
HP: 58
Salmon rjh - Your target is
now being brutally slapped
around with a large trout.

Reclaimer - As a Reclaimer of
the former AoH, Simon rjh has
the ability to demote a
target (cut it's HP in half).

HaloDude
 
HP: 138
#Gruntcorner - HaloDude lures
your target to it, only to be
scarred for life by such a place.

Banhammer - fwa-GSSSSHHH.
And now your target has been
beaten down by the mighty
hammer.

Dragonclaws
 
HP: 268
Beehive - As the Canon master
his numerous beehives
will consume you with nerdiness.

Un-hammer - One of your fallen
cards is restored to play with full
HP.

Subtank
 
HP: 234
Special:Log/protect - Any of one of
your active cards is invincible for the
next three turns.

Subtle Tank - A sneaky M808B just
got around your target's defenses
and blew the shit out of it.

Ajax 013
 
HP: 89
The Complex - Your target is
now convinced Ajax 013 is God. It
defects to your deck in fear of being
smited.

Fanon - Ajax 013 can summon any
vehicle or beast from anything in
his Necros Universe.

Delta-269
 
HP: 62
Lt.Gen.Delta - Delta-269 has
morphed into Lt.Gen.Delta, your
target is now scared shitless.

/wrath - Remove one of your
opponent's cards from play, and
all of your opponent's active cards
of "IRC Op" level are temporarily
paralyzed.

Churchreborn
 
HP: 20
Mode #halopedia +m - Your
target cannot use any attacks for
three more turns, and is going to
have a major hissy fit.

Kickstick - Remove your target
from active play and shuffle it
into your opponent's deck.

Ghost Sangheili
 
HP: 158
NO U - Flip a coin. If heads, your
target has rage quit. If tails,
your opponent's previous attack is
inflicted on your target.

Spelling Fail - Your target's
brain has now exploded. (2x
multiplier if Manticore is active).

Blemo
 
HP: 179
Blemism - Your target has
been converted to Blemism, and
therefore must follow all orders it
receives from Blemo.

Don't Press It - Your target
has fallen for Blemo's ALT+F4
trick, making your target a
complete imbecile.

Nicmavr
 
HP: 42
Rickroll - With a little help from
Nicmavr's rickroll powers, your
target now has an intense hate
for Rick Astley.

Comrades - The Cypriot National
Guard is coming to whoop your
target's ass.

Spartansniper450
 
HP: 103
Rollback - Your opponent's three
most recent actions have all been
reverted.

Sharpshooter - Using his trusty
SRS 99D-S2 AM, two of your
opponent's cards have gaping
holes in their faces.

Azzt Rhell
 
HP: 14
Quit Message - Once your
target had read the statement,
he had lost the game.

Yub Yub! - Azzt Rhell has can
summon any one thing from the
Star Wars Universe, and it is under
his command.

Unluckynumber11
 
HP: 6
Friendliness - Because of this trait,
your target is now shuffled into your
own deck, and belongs to you until
the end of the match.

Thank You Jesus - UN11 uses the
power of his friend to take out half of
all your opponent's active cards.

Innovation/improvements between Halo titles

HCE to Halo 2

  • Multiplayer mode (Xbox LIVE), party system, matchmaking
  • Boarding vehicles
  • Dual-wielding weapons

Halo 2 to Halo 3/ODST

  • Panoramic camera (record and replay)
  • Forge (basic editing)
  • ODST: Firefight as prototype for synchronised AI battles for up to four players.

Halo 3 to Halo: Reach

  • Character boarding (aka assassination)
  • Graphics (impostering testbed, dynamic lighting)
  • Forge

Halo: Reach to Halo 4

  • Firefight becomes SpartanOps
  • Graphics (improved impostering)
  • Forge (dynamic lighting)

Gallery

External links