Axon Clips Chapter 10

Kamal
the_doctor
 * Audio Compilation 7min 04sec

Isabelle: Now just, you know, watch that wrist and do what the doctor told you!

(Jessie runs off)

Kamal/Offline: And stay off the roof!

Isabelle: Ok, that's the last of them. I can have you in Pittsburgh in an hour.

Kamal: Thanks.

Isabelle: For what? Four hours of doctoring? It's literally the least I could do.

Kamal: *sigh*

Isabelle: What's wrong?

Kamal: I'm worried about your cousin, Jessie, she's too young for disk troubles. You should make her go to a clinic. Isabelle: What are you thinking?

Kamal: Well I'm not thinking anything, but I want to rule out a spinal tumour.

Isabelle: So, where'd you learn all this stuff?

Kamal: I worked in a hospital.

a_place_called_dirt

Isabelle: My friend Brad says he thinks you're on the lam...

Kamal: (laughs)

Isabelle: Brad thinks that you're a doctor and maybe you killed a bunch of people in a hospital. But I don't think so. I don't think you would kill anyone. Kamal: Well I haven't yet, but if I keep treating people without proper training or tools I probably will. So who's Brad? Isabelle: He's my-- a friend.

Kamal: Is he a colonial?

Isabelle: No, he's from earth. You know when I was living on Marmor, I thought that earth was really cool, but it's a dump. Kamal: Well, what do you expect from a place called dirt?

Isabelle: Huh?

Kamal: You know, earth, like soil, dirt... didn't you ever make fun of it when you were a kid? Isabelle: No. So, are you on the lam?

touchy_subject

Kamal: So where'd you people get all these anti-infectives anyway?

Isabelle: Black market. Do you have a girlfriend?

Kamal: Maybe I killed her... You know, when I killed all those people in the hospital?

Isabelle: Don't make fun of me, I'm not stupid.

Kamal: I don't have a girlfriend. I never really did.

Isabelle: ooo, touchy subject?

Kamal: So, what comes next?

Isabelle: I drop you off at Jerry's diner, and this truck driver my dad knows will take you to New Jersey. Kamal: Thanks Isabelle, you're a good assistant.

Isabelle: So, you going to tell me why you're on the lam?

Kamal: Fell in love with the girlfriend of the wrong guy.

Isabelle: That sounds romantic.

Kamal: Not really. She went back to him.

Isabelle: The slut!

new_jersey

Kamal: It was probably the right choice.

Isabelle: God, if I turned down a doctor who wanted to marry me, my mom would strangle me.

Kamal: (chuckles) I'm not a doctor!

Isabelle: So, why are you going to New Jersey?

Kamal: Someone there's been watching me. They know something about my family.

Isabelle: My family is the last thing I want to know more about. (laughs)

Kamal: Yeah, well, I'm from Coral.

Isabelle: Oh, geez, I-I'm sorry.

Kamal: It's ok. Well, it's not ok, but it can't be fixed, so... I'm fixing what I can. I found something out this week. Isabelle: What's that?

Kamal: I want to be a doctor.

Isabelle: You already are.

who_the_hell

(casually in a kitchen, whistles, knock on the door)

Jersey: oh damn. It's open!

(more knocks)

Jersey: Oh for crying out... (opens door) Oh geez. It would be you.

Kamal: What do you mean it would be me?

Jersey: Freakin... come in. My name's Jersey.

Kamal: My name is Kamal Zaman.

Jersey: I know. Listen, there's someone you should meet.

Kamal: You know something about my sister.

Jersey: Durga!

Durga: (highly degraded voice) I'm here

Kamal: Who the hell is that?

Durga: (voice degrading) I...can't... it's like the wrong ends of a magnet... (girl's voice) I can't!

kamal_meet_durga

Jersey: Kamal, meet Durga. Durga, meet Kamal.

Kamal: What the hell's going on here? What do you know about my sister?

Durga: Nothing.

Jersey: Kamal, Durga is your sister.

Durga: I'm not-I'm not Yasmine. I'm merely copied from her personality matrix. Your sister was abducted into the Spartan class of 2537, but she washed out.

Kamal: Washed out, what does that me--

Durga: --She died, Kamal. She was too weak and she died.

Kamal: Oh my God...

Durga: They took her, they trained her, they shot her full of hormones and embedded things inside her bones, and finally her body gave up and she died.

Kamal: No.

Durga: There's no point in being sentimental.

Kamal: She didn't give up. Maybe they killed her, but she never gave up.

stop_it_you_two

Kamal:I can still hear your voice in there Yasmine! You never gave up in your life!

Durga: What did you... Jersey...!

Jersey: Hey, take it easy with that stuff pal! Durga is herself, she's nobody else.

Kamal: The hell she is. You know what they say - you don't get to choose your family. She's stuck with me. Jersey: Kamal, this - you and me and Coral forever stuff, didn't work so great on Sophie either, did it? (Kamal attacks Jersey) Jersey: Ow Kamal: come on!

Durga: Stop it you two.

real_he_man

(wreckless fighting)

Jersey: If Sophie could see you now, she'd think you were a real he man wouldn't she?

Kamal: Is this how you get your jollies?! Spying on people?!

Jersey: Not like you!

Durga: Stop it!

(Durga...stops the fight)

Kamal: He started it.

Jersey: I was eating. And he hit me, in the head.

Kamal: At least I don't spy on other people.

Jersey: Well you tried to kill me with a lamp.

Kamal: You punched me in the neck!

Jersey: You tried to kill me with a lamp!

bedside_manner

Jersey: I don't get how just a butterfly clamp--

(smack)

Jersey: Ow!

Kamal: Quit wining...

Jersey: You know your bedside manner leaves something to be--

Kamal: --shut up!

Jersey: Right back atcha doc... How the hell am I going to explain this to my mom?!

Kamal: I'll pay for the damage.

Jersey: With what? Poker chips? Oh that's great, I'll send her for a weekend at Atlantic city. We can collect a complete set of dishes with dancing girls on them.

Kamal: Well, there's no point in being offline any more. (signal/online) What the hell is with you? If anyone should be upset--

Jersey: --(sounds of disbelief)--

Kamal: Of course

Jersey: --This was..her favourite lamp!

Kamal: You're jealous.

Jersey: I've got nothing to be jealous about.

Kamal: Except sharing Durga.

war_effort

Jersey: Yeah, with a self-righteous creep who thinks he can work the chatter.

Kamal: Well, look at it from my perspective.

Jersey: What...

Kamal: My sister's spending her time with a sullen punk kid who wouldn't tell the government one of their top class AI's is gone, because then he wouldn't have his favourite toy any more!

Durga: I told him not to.

Jersey: Oh I asked her--

Kamal: You need to contribute to the war effort, hero.

Durga: Leave him alone.

Kamal: I don't think I will. A top class AI costs what, the price of a destroyer? What if that mind - your mind, Yasmine - could have made a difference at Coral. Durga: That's not fair.

Kamal: You know, fair is not something I care about so much any more.

Durga: Kamal, we need your help.

Jersey: (a glass crashes) We do not need his help.

Durga: Jersey, I don't waste assets.

Kamal: Help doing what?

another_chance

Durga: There was nothing you could do to save your sister. Nothing more you could have done to save your parents.

Kamal: Our parents.

Durga: But I can give you something more precious than you can possibly imagine.

Kamal: You - Durga? Or you - Yasmine?

Durga: (quietly) Alright, both of us.

Kamal: Most of precious was on Coral for me, Yasmine. And the rest, left me standing at a bus stop standing outside of Oakland. What are you going to give me? Durga: Another chance to save me. Another chance to save the world.

Janissary
targeting_scope
 * Audio Compilation 6min 20sec

Recruiter: So they reassigned me to recruitment, and sent me back here to fly a desk instead.

Jan: Hm. Do you miss it?

Recruiter: Sometimes. I miss the guys. But it was time. It's ok when you carry the war on your back. It's heavy, but you do it because you ha--

Jan: --you have to.

Recruiter: Right. When you start seeing your whole life through a targeting scope.

Jan: Oh yeah.

Recruiter: You got a family in the service?

Jan: Father and mother.

Recruiter: They know you're here?

Jan: My dad's dead. Less than a month. My mom's a...bit of a bug. They met in special forces.

Recruiter: Sorry for your loss.

Jan: It's ok.

Recruiter: So. Hand on the plate, and we'll start the application.

(puts hand on plate, warning beep)

Recruiter: What? Wait... you're not 18, you're 17.

all_for_patriotism

Jan: It rounds up to 18... My birthday's in 4 months.

Recruiter: (chuckle) Four and a half. You didn't think to mention that?

Jan: Look, I'm on my own, what difference does a few months make?

Recruiter: We've got to draw the line somewhere, kid. If people see us inducting children there'll be panic in the streets. Jan: Is that a joke? Look around you! Even Reach has fallen.

Recruiter: Sorry kiddo. I'm all for patriotism, but you're going to have to wait four months.

Jan: Ok, what if my mom signed for me?... Oh. That doesn't make me sound more grown up.

Recruiter: Not so much.

eye_chart

Jan: Look! Look! (draws M6)

Recruiter: Hey, you can't draw that in here!

Jan: Just--watch... (strips and assembles the M6) I can strip clean and reassemble and M6 in 1/4 regulation time.

Recruiter: You're fast.

Jan: I can shoot 87% with an SRS at 1000 meters.

Recruiter: You're lying.

Jan: (holsters the M6) Yeah...

Recruiter: What's your real score?

Jan: ...99.

Recruiter: But...?

Jan: I thought you wouldn't believe me.

Recruiter: (chuckles) Only 99?

Jan: There was a crosswind.

Recruiter: (chuckles) See that eye chart? Read me the bottom line.

Jan: Microprinting supplied by Opticon test instruments. A limited liability sector of the- - Recruiter: (chuckles) Actually, I meant the bigger line of letters above that, but never mind.

a_soldier

Jan: Sergeant, I know I look like just another teenage girl to you, but believe me, I can be the best soldier you ever recruited! Recruiter: Make me look good, you think?

Jan: I swear it!

Recruiter: You're really ready to kick some Covenant butt?

Jan: Sergeant, I did not always know this, but I was meant to be a soldier from the day I was born. Recruiter: Ah! There's just one problem.

Jan: What?

Recruiter: You're 17.

Jan: But, I can do this!

Recruiter: I know you can. That isn't the point.

Jan: Of course it's the point...

Recruiter: *sigh* You're a good kid. Right now you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. And instead of running from that, you want to meet it head on. I admire that. But you're 17, chickadee. Let someone else save the world for a few months.

Jan: I've got no money, no place to go, nothi-- what am I supposed to do?!

go_home

Recruiter: Find a boyfriend. Stay up too late... talk on the chatter. Life is short enough without rushing into combat.

Jan: I just want a chance to do something that matters!

Recruiter: The Covies are going to give us all that chance, kid, soon enough. And when they do, no matter how many you fight, no matter how many you kill...

Jan: Yeah?

Recruiter: It's not going to bring your father back. It just won't.

Jan: (dejected sigh)

Recruiter: Go home, Janissary James. Next!

cat_fight

(doorbell)

Jersey: Oh, hey Jan. I thought you were going to enlist.

Jan: So, you said Durga might be able to help me find a job?

Jersey: What happened?

Jan: I'm not 18. They told me to go get a boyfriend, or something.

Jersey: I'll volunteer!

Jan: What a patriot...

Jersey: Nono, not for the navy, I me--

Jan: --I know what you meant, Jersey, and frankly - don't take this the wrong way - you're not the hero type.

Jersey: There's a ... right way to take that?

Durga: She means it would take a hero to be her boyfriend, Jersey.

Jersey: Oooo, cat fight!

bake_cookies

Jan: Well, my guys do seem to end up dead.

Durga: Jan, it wasn't your fa--

Jan: --It wasn't my fault, yeah yeah, whatever. Listen, listen can you just change my records so I'm 18?

Durga: I could, but I won't.

Jan: What... are you going to tell me I should go get a boyfriend now and bake cookies too?

Durga: You probably should.

Jan: What difference is it going to make if the Covenant shows up tomorrow?! If I enlisted at least I could fight! Durga: If the Covenant showed up tomorrow, you wouldn't even be in Basic yet.

Jan: (exasperated) You know what I mean!! (punches a wall) Dammit!! owe

Jersey: What the...?? I just bought a new lamp, and replaced the dishes! Would you people please stop tearing up my mom's apartment!

but_not_likely

Durga: But, I have something else you could do.

Jan: What, like a job?

Durga: Work for me. I'll cover your rent.

Jan: Doing what?

Durga: Breaking into Chawla Base. In Boston.

Jan: (laughs) You're crazier than Gilly.

Durga: Possible, but not likely. I'll keep an eye on it though.

Jersey: So, there's this artifact on Chawla Base, being kept under wraps. The navy thinks it's some kind of Covenant super-weapon, but-- Durga: There are reports being trickled back from a ship called the Pillar of Autumn.

more_dangerous

Durga: There's a chance the artifact isn't something Covenant at all. A chance that it's something much more dangerous.

Jan: More dangerous than a Covenant super weapon?

Durga: Much more dangerous.

Jersey: Yeah, the artifact is some sort of timer, it's like, counting down.

Jan: Counting down to what? Counting down to what, Jersey?!

Durga: No one knows, Jan. No one wants to find out. We've got to get into Chawla Base and turn it off.

Jan: Why not tell the navy?

Durga: They won't believe us.

Jan: But you do?

Durga: I do.

Jan: Ok. Then I do too.

Jersey: So you'll help us break into Chawla?

Jan: Jersey, look... breaking into a military base is buggier than even my mother! Why not just contact the authorities? Call the press...?

are_you_in

Durga: Because, there were a whole shipload of people who knew about this. And they're all either dead or shipped to the front lines. If you try to tell the press, you'll end up in front of a bus.

Jan: Wait... I met a guy like that... McKaskill!

Durga: Yes. He ran the tool crib on the Apocalypso.

Jan: Ok, so he wasn't just paranoid.

Kamal: Sucks, doesn't it?

Durga: Jan, you owe me.

Jan: I know. (deep breath) So let me get this straight - you want us to break into Chawla base, find this thing, and shut it down.

Durga: Yes.

Jan: Sounds impossible to me.

Jersey: So are you in?

Jan: Of course.

Rani
frumpy
 * Audio Compilation 8min 30sec

Rani: So, I'm thinking of maybe taking a post, somewhere else.

Sarah: Leaving Boston?

Rani: Yeah. And getting a haircut.

Sarah: What does getting a haircut have to do with leaving Boston?

Rani: A whole new me, you know? Don't you think I look a bit..frumpy? Not professional?

Sarah: I think you sound really freaked out. I think this job is really getting to you.

Rani: Yeah, I got mixed up with this guy. He had me convinced there was all this weird stuff going on, but he was crazy. Sarah: He was crazy?

Rani: Yeah. And I fell for it.

Sarah: No.

Rani: What do you mean, no?

Sarah: You were the one who told Trisha that Kale was two-timing her.

Rani: That was different, Kale was an idiot.

Sarah: Yeah but you knew Mr.McKenzie was having an affair with Ms.Delvecchio. And that Guptising was lying to us about his mom. Rani: She needed the pension money, anyone could see that!

Sarah: No if this guy was crazy, you would have known.

dinkwit

Rani: But Major Standish said that the--

Sarah-John: --Then whoever this Standish is, he's a liar.

Rani: I j--

(knocks)

Rani: Oh, I've got to go.

Sarah-John: He was lying to you, Rani. And don't you believe it.

(chatter off)

Jersey: (knocks) Hello?

Rani: Yes?

Jersey: Yeah, listen, you don't know me, but I have to talk to you.

Rani: Yes?

Jersey: It's about the you-know-what at Chawla. You know, from the Apocalypso.

Rani: Look, you can tell Major Standish I didn't bite. I'm keeping my nose clean.

Jersey: Standish? Wait, he's the dinkwit right?

Rani: Although, you are an odd choice for the bait. I mean you're what, 17?

Jersey: 18, thank you very much, since June.

huge_black_letters

Rani: You came up from New York by train to talk to me about... what's in New York?

Jersey: You're doing that thing! That detective thing... How did you know I came from New York? My accent? Oh... the way I dress... Like that ONI guy that jumped you, but he had the wrong shoes.

Rani: You've got a security check on your bag, and it says "NYC" in huge black letters...

Jersey: Oh... right...

Rani: If you know about the ONI guy, you're obviously ONI. And, you're clueless. Goodbye! (shuts the door on Jersey)

itchy

(chatter on)

Durga: (through chatter) Rani, Sarah-John is right. You know Standish is lying to you. You know he tried to have Herzog killed. Rani: Who are you, and how did you know that?

Durga: I'm a rogue military AI. I think I came in on the Apocalypso, but I don't know because I can't remember. Rani: You're what?

Jersey: I can't believe you told her that! Why did you just come right out and tell her that?

Durga: Because lying to Rani is stupid.

Rani: And you'll expect me to believe you?

Durga: Ask me a question and if I can find the answer I'll tell you. For example, right now, Nic is off duty, and playing ping pong with a guy they call Itchy. Rani: You leave Nic out of this.

Durga: What do you want to know?

Rani: Did we know Troy was going to be glassed?

Durga: Yes.

space_is_big

Durga: It's clear we've broken at least some Covenant transmission protocols. Rani: So why did Reach fall?

Durga: Space is big. Really big. We have to be in the right place to hear the right transmission. Troy was a lucky break. (beep) I'm sorry, your chatter hasn't sufficient storage for my evidence so I've summarized it and forwarded as much as possible to you.

Rani: Oh my God, my memory's full. What-- these names, what... what are these names?

Durga: Contact information for every Troy evacuee. The ones who have died since the evac are marked in red. Rani: What are you?

Jersey: (from outside) Durga is a very curious girl!

Durga: Rani, we both know we have to shut the artifact down. Look at the information I sent you. If you are willing to help, come meet with us on Saturday.

brainwash

Rani: Look, I don't... The artifact is just... I can't do anything about it.

Jersey: But Rani, you've got to help us! That thing could be a giant bomb! It could brainwash us all so we'd join the Covenant! Rani: I can't. Look, you don't understand. They're watching me. And I just... can't.

Durga: You're going to have to be a little brave, Rani. Think about it.

Jersey: Saturday! And if you come, I won't even make you talk through a door.

Rani: I'm not sure.

Durga: Oh, you mentioned a haircut. I know a guy in Beacon hill, the best in Boston.

store_windows

Rani: Excuse me, is this seat taken?

Goon: No, but there's a lot of empty seats in this car.

Rani: Oh, would you rather not? You prefer blonds?

Goon: No, I, uh, it's just that--

Rani: --Well then. I figured since you're following me it would be more convenient if I just sat down right here.

Goon: Following you? Are you crazy? I've already got a girlfriend, lady.

Rani: Oh I know, Major Standish is just the dreamiest, isn't he?

Goon: I don't know what you're talking about!

Rani: I caught you twice in store windows on my way down to the station. Here's a free tip - I'm not much of a window shopper, so usually if you see me peer into glass like that, just assume you've been made.

cattle_prod

Goon: *sigh* We could still keep this all real polite, and just go back to pretending you don't notice.

Rani: I don't worry so much about polite when I'm being stalked.

Conductor: (in the background) Tickets please.

Goon: Look, this is really starting to annoy me.

Rani: If you sit there and tell me bare-faced that this is all for my own protection, I will stand up and scream rape, so help me God! Goon: Listen, cowgirl, the only way I touch you is with a cattle-prod. And don't think I haven't thought about it.

Conductor: Tickets, please.

Rani: Here's my confirmation.

(positive beep)

Conductor: Hm. Got a ticket?

Goon: Yeah, here.

(negative beep)

Conductor: Eh, this ticket was for yesterday.

some_people

Goon: That's impossible, I just bought it!

Conductor: Well, well, well. Someone hasn't paid a lot of parking fines.

Goon: Parking fines?!

Conductor: Whoah! (to chatter) Conductor assist - I have a passenger here wanted for grand theft auto.

Goon: Theft?!

Conductor: Stand down, son, I did 12 years in the marines.

Goon: I never stole any cars!

Rani: Fraud too... selling fake insurance policies?

Conductor: ...I don't see... oh you're right! What are you doing? To the widows of vets?

Goon: Hey, but, but--

Conductor: (grabs him and roughs him) Get on your feet.

Rani: What kind of person would take advantage of the widows of men who died to save us all? *tsk* some people...

(in the distance) Goon: This is all a mistake!

Durga: (loaded into the system) Yeah, some people.

always_thinking

Rani: *sigh* This is crazy. (knocks) Hello?

Jersey: (opens door) Oh, it's you.

Rani: Umm, so, I mean, I don't really know what I can do, but umm--

Jersey: --Listen, if you walk through this door, there's just one freakin rule - no bustin' up my mom's apartment! Got it? Rani: Uh, sure?

Jersey: Geez, is that so much to ask? Jan! Jan! You got some sheet board or something at your place?

Jan: Nope, sorry.

Rani: Wow. There's a..hole..in your wall...

Jersey: That's Rani for ya. Always thinking.

liquid_plyboard

Kamal: Jersey, manners!

Jersey: Manners? I've got to get this fixed before my mom gets back!

Rani: You need some liquid plyboard. You can get it at the hardware.

Kamal: Hi, my name's Kamal.

Rani: Oh, I am so sorry about Coral.

Kamal: How did you know that I was from Coral?

Jersey: Don't even ask! Ok... College boy's right Rani, I should be nice to you... can I get you anything? Rani: Um, something to drink would be great!

Jersey: Kitchen's right through there. Watch your step though. I don't think Kamal got all the--

Kamal: --for the last time, I swept up all the glass!

brave

Jan: Hey, you must be the brave one. I'm Jan.

Rani: Uh, beg your pardon?

Jan: Jan. It's short for Janissary.

Rani: No, I meant... never mind.

Jan: Oh, what, brave?

Rani: Ya, not what most people would say. (giggles) Not what I would say.

Jan: Come on you're an ONI analyst who's about to help us break into a navy base. What's the penalty for that induced-- Rani: --induced coma..

Jan: Now my whole family seems to have some kind of death wish. And Kamal, from what I gather, doesn't have a hell of a lot left to live for. But to risk all that based on one of Jersey's plans? That looks like brave to me.

i_never_do

Rani: Well, I guess, I mean, I haven't really thought of-- one of Jersey's plans?

Jan: You want something to drink?

Rani: Uh, sure?

Jan: Just don't read the ingredients.

Rani: Oh, I never do.

Jan: Ok, come into the living room, let's do this thing!

Rani: I guess the women folk's supposed to come out of the kitchen now. (giggles)

Jan: Well, this should be amusing if nothing else. By the way...

Rani: Yeah?

Jan: I like your hair.

Jersey (and Durga and Kamal and Jan and Rani)
flatline
 * Audio Compilation 4min 25sec

Durga: So, the short version is, the artifact is at Chawla - it is counting down, and it must be stopped. Kamal: If that's true, why doesn't his Standish guy see that?

Durga: He has a great deal invested in another answer, Kamal. He believes he has the prototype of the next generation of Covenant weapons, all the enemies secrets, if only he can unlock them.

Kamal: But why would he keep going down this path so blindly?

Rani: It's not about being smart. It's about having killed people.

Jan: Once you start killing people, you'd better have been right.

Kamal: If it is counting down, what do you think it'll do?

Durga: The last time it was triggered, the shockwave flatlined communications throughout the solar system for more than 7 seconds. Jersey: Durga doesn't know, but she thinks it'll probably be bad.

Kamal: Thanks for the translation.

a_plan

Jersey: Don't mention it, college boy.

Kamal: No problem, high school kid. Or haven't you graduated yet?

Jan: Boys...

Kamal: We need to get to the artifact and turn it off. Trouble is, Chawla Base is a totally self contained and secure system. Jan: Like Crystal Security.

Jersey: Times 10.

Kamal: I'll have to port in through chatter and get physically patched into Chawla. To be honest, there's a chance the lab itself is another black box. Rani, can you tell us which building the lab is in?

Rani: Um, 41 I think. But that's red security. I don't have clearance to enter that part of the base, let alone get into the lab. Jersey: No problem Durga. You know, I've been thinking about this, and I've got a plan.

pizza_delivery_guy

Durga: Jersey? You've got a plan? To get in Chawla...?

Jersey: What, you think I'm not the hero type?

Jan: Jersey...

Jersey: Trust me! It's gonna work! You're not the only one who comes from a military family remember.

Jan: Jersey, your dad is in the signal corps.

Jersey: ONI signal corps. Crazy like a fox, baby!

Kamal: So what's the plan.

Jersey: I go in, as a pizza delivery guy!

Rani: What?!

Jersey: Hey, navy guys love pizza! Then, Kamal goes in as a chatter network repair guy, and he's got the chatter link for Durga, and Jan goes in as a recruit.

hair_on_fire

Jan: As if...

Jersey: Hey! Live the fantasy, that's all I'm saying!

Rani: You can't deliver pizza in a secure area!

Jersey: *Tsk* yeah, I know that. So uh, so we get in, I'm delivering pies to the civilian base, like your building, but there we, change into our special forces uniforms!

Jan: ...special forces uniforms...

Jersey: Right, the ones Durga will order up for us tonight. We change in the bathroom, then Durga creates a diversion. Like you did with the auditor. Durga: Jersey, I just said I can't get inside Chawla.

Jersey: So you make the diversion right outside Chawla. Like, I dunno, maybe there's something like um, an accident, and a circus with midget clowns riding unicycles with their hair on fire... I don't know! Just stick with the big picture here.

garter_belt

Durga: Jersey, I'm not sure that that's--

Jersey: --then, we trip every alarm we can find. Adding even more confusion, total chaos! We find the artifact, we trigger it, and then Durga calls for the building to be evacuated.

Rani: Um, what about the part where they shoot you trying to get into building 41?

Jersey: That's where Jan comes in!

Jan: Me?!

Durga: Jersey - tactically speaking, this plan leaves something.

Jersey: Ok - better than the pizza delivery thing, we're all in a band!

Jan/Kamal/Durga/Rani: A band?

Jersey: Yeah! For the officer's club, like a retirement party! If Jan was in a slinky red dress, the guy at the gate won't even care if we're on some list or not. Jan: Jersey...!

Jersey: She could have a gun strapped to her garter belt, and... and a clip of ammo... between ... or... maybe somebody else has a better idea? Kamal: Oh God I hope so.

hapless_guy

Jan: Rani..

Rani: I can show you the base layout.

Jan: We're going to need a strategy for getting into building 41. Do they ever do fire drills, inspections?

Rani: Security sweeps.

Jan: Nice. Durga, we're going to need some orders--

Durga: --orders, from building security, got it.

(Jersey and Kamal leave to get a drink, the girls get quieter)

Jan: If we're patching you in, like at Crystal Security, we'll need to know where to make the patch.

Durga: Telecom shack. Rani, do you know where those are located?

Rani: There are least three on the low security part of the base.

Kamal: Pizza delivery guy...?

Jersey: Ah, just had to break the ice. Girls like Jan and Durga, they feel better if they're bailing out some hapless guy.

Kamal: You know how to play the part, I'll give you that.

Jersey: Hey, I may be dumb, but I aint stupid. Want a beer?

Kamal: Are you even old enough to drink that?

Jersey: Hey we can't fight any more, my mom's going to kill me as it is.

Kamal: (laughs)

Jan: (from the other room) And then we can use the flash grenades. Yeah I'm serious!

Kamal/Jersey: Oh man!

Herzog
These clips were manufactured by the Operator in order to trick Durga into accepting information she wouldn't otherwise trust. The dialog is somewhat flavored by the Operator's own speech patterns. needles
 * Audio Compilation 1min 52sec

McKaskill: (on chatter) Hello?

Herzog: McKaskill. Good.

McKaskill: You must have the wrong--

Herzog: Disconnect, and I'll tell Section III where you are.

McKaskill: Dammit! You are just bad luck, you know that?

Herzog: I'm already as good as dead. Don't think I give a damn about taking you with me.

McKaskill: My life hasn't been worth a dry-man's spit since we had our first little chat before the Apolcalypso shipped out.

Herzog: What can I say? I have a way with people.

McKaskill: When the whole thing started to go down, I tried to squirt your note. Did you know that? The Op busted me up for it pretty good.

Herzog: It was the right thing to do.

McKaskill: Yeah, sure. Only you'd be mumbling McKaskill's loaderboy getting the long-sleeve, if she had ratted me out, not you.

Herzog: We have to talk about the artifact you beheld on the Apocalypso.

McKaskill: I hate the sight of needles. I can't even give blood!

Herzog: McKaskill it took a lot of work to seek you out, I need to know how they triggered it, everything depends on it.

McKaskill: I told the investigators, I don't know nothin' about nothin'!

the_truth

Herzog: I don't know what they'll do if I give them your location. Maybe a hard sound pulse to drop you while you're crossing the street or.. or gas, they're using gas more these days.

McKaskill: (gets a drink) I was just messing around. Like it had these shapes on it, you know? Triangles and lines, and dots... I wasn't even thinking about it, just a nervous habit. (takes a drink) I got bad nerves!

Herzog: Right. And?

McKaskill: They went all the way around, like the tread on a tire. I don't know why, I just touched all the triangles first. The official lab team had given up. They couldn't get nothing out of it.

Herzog: Triangles, all the way around...

McKaskill: Mhm, (drinks) then lines.

Herzog: And dots...?

McKaskill: (chuckles) and kablam!

Herzog: Triangles... lines... dots...

McKaskill: Damn, I'm empty.

Herzog: If it makes you feel any better about revealing the truth, you may have just saved the planet.

McKaskill: Then maybe the planet can buy me a drink.

(chatter off)