Axon Clips Chapter 5

"Casino" (Kamal)
card_counters
 * Audio Compilation 7min 15sec

Kamal: Okay, here come your card counters. Phil, Cassie, Molly--

Aiden: She's cute.

Kamal: Zack, and your ringleader, Antonio.

Aiden: Show him the thing.

Kamal: Okay, I've wormed into their private CP channel and built an audio mask out of the voice archive samples you gave me. Then I wrapped it around a zero lag sequencer that jacks into the--

Mr.F: Jeezus, just show me the thing already.

Kamal: I talk... (voice mask activates) and it sounds like Antonio.

Mr.F: Holy crap.

Aiden: See, Mr. F?

Kamal: Okay, I'm going to slip into their chatter line now. I'll send a feed directly to your chatter. You'll hear exactly what Antonio's gang is hearing.

(chatter beep on)

Antonio: Cassie, your deck is light on face cards. Set your count at -7 and hit on anything up to 16.

Cassie: Got it.

the_glassworks

Antonio: Molly, you're at 3. Phil, you're at -5. You want this, don't you? Beats the hell out of competing with every book-worming refugee from the glassworks for a real job, don't it? (with accent) 'What did the colonial say to the garbage boy?... put me down!' (laughs)

Dealer: Excuse me?

Molly: Oh, sorry. No, just remembering a joke I heard. Hit me, please.

Antonio: Alright. Zack, dealer's looking strong, not your hand, get out. Molly, whoa, you're up at 9 now. Bet 3/4 of the table max, on the next hand.

(chatter off)

Aiden: Now that colonial crap just isn't right. These kids go to a school and everything...

Kamal: They're just saying what everybody thinks. We're, you know, book smart hicks and grade-grubbers who act like if you fail one crummy course...

Aiden: ...You might lose your student visa and get sent home to die.

unwelcome_visitors_lounge

Kamal: Pull up the house record of the decks. (beep) Okay. This is what Antonio's looking at when he tells the others how to bet.

Aiden: It bothers you though.

Kamal: Not really, I've heard it all before.

Mr.F: One thing makes me want to face-peel a guy, it's intolerance.

Aiden: Antonio's way over by the slot machines, looking real innocent and out of sight of the others. Now we send him for a little time-out?

Kamal: Yeah.

(comm beep on)

Mr.F: Paolo, take him to the unwelcome visitor's lounge.

(comm beep off, on)

Aiden: Frank, fresh decks on 2, 4 and 5. Use the ones I gave you.

(comm beep off)

Mr.F: Okay, the show's on monitor 6. Watch what Paolo does to this sonuvabitch.

(sounds of a beating)

Kamal: Jeezus Christ. If they hit him again, I'm walking.

Mr.F: What, you feel sorry for this guy?

Kamal: I'm done.

Mr.F: Jeezus... Fine! Fine, have it your way.

double_down

(comm beep on)

Mr.F: Paolo, treat Mr.Antonio real nice.

(comm chatter)

Mr.F: I don't know, buy him something with an umbrella in it. Use your initiative.

(comm beep off)

Kamal: You promised me nobody would get hurt if--

Mr.F: Do the thing, Kamal!

Kamal: Okay! Okay. I'm going live in 3...2... (voice mask on) Molly that last card puts you way positive. Time to double down. Zack, bet the minimum. Dealer's about to beat you. Phil, cash out, head to table 5 and get in on the next hand.

Phil: But that's the 10k table.

Kamal: If you were seeing what I'm seeing, you'd already be there.

camouflage

(chatter beep off)

(Mr.F enters)

Mr.F: What's wrong?

Aiden: The slots. Antonio said the slot machine sound effect loop just cut out.

Mr.F: But--

Aiden: Don't worry, he'll cover it.

(chatter beep on)

Kamal/Antonio: People, I know we've taken a beating so far, but it's all camouflage. The stars are lining up. This is--

Cassie: What are you doing, Antonio? Standing in the parking lot or something? Keep playing the slots, otherwise it looks suspicious.

Kamal/Antonio: Gimme a sec, there's-- oh ho, come to papa! Cassie, we need a times 10 bet here. We're about to make it all back.

Cassie: Are you kidding me?

Kamal/Antonio: Molly, double down. Cassie, hit.

Cassie: On a 17? Are you kidding? We're getting killed out here.

Kamal/Antonio: No time for bitching, people. Do it.

Cassie: If we lose this one, we're back where we started.

Kamal/Antonio: We're not gonna lose.

(chatter beep off)

stretch_em

Mr.F: Hey hey! And the bastards are down to even!

Aiden: Okay, Mr.F, you got your money back.

Mr.F: Yeah, hey, Kamal... Stretch 'em a little...

Kamal: What?

Mr.F: You heard me. String'em along!

Kamal: You said that we were onl--

Mr.F: --I changed my mind. About you too... You're in for 30% of the take. Whatever it is.

Kamal: ...Baby needs a new pair of shoes!

(voice mask on)

Kamal/Antonio: Cassie, sit down. Your deck is empty - repeat, empty of face cards. But there's aces everywhere. Zack, that 9-3 is solid gold! Molly, double those 7's and hit-hit-hit! Phil - split those kings... how can you lose on that?

just_a_joke

Phil: You tell me, I've lost on everything else.

Cassie: Where's Antonio? Antonio, where are you?

Kamal/Antonio: I'm right--Cassie, for the love of money, hit that!

Cassie: Where are you?

Kamal/Antonio: Hit the damn card!

Cassie: Fine, there. *ech* dammit! Happy?

Phil: No way, I just bust both my kings.

Cassie: Let's get out of here, Antonio's gone.

Kamal/Antonio: I'm not gone, I'm right here. Look, I'm standing up and waving at you!

Phil: Antonio, when we get out of here, I'm gonna kick your head in.

Kamal: (voice mask off) Actually, Antonio got laid off tonight, and a colonial took his job.

Cassie: Who the hell are you?

Kamal: (with an accent) Just another bookworming refugee from the glassworks.

Cassie: It was just a joke, for God's sake.

Kamal: Yeah, but it's so much funnier now.

(chatter beep off)

payday

Mr.F: Okay, party's over. (chatter on) Paolo, send the staff to escort our players out. Make sure they understand how much they owe me before they go, and, uh give Antonio my lawyer's card would you?

(chatter acknowledgment)

Mr.F: That's pretty good work there, kid. I, uh, better have my security watching for you now.

Kamal: I promise you you will never see me in here again.

Mr.F: Eh, you'd be surprised.

(Aiden enters)

Aiden: Payday, Kamal! (pours chips on table)

not_for_me

Aiden: Man what a massacre out there. Makes me wish people would try that more often.

Kamal: Gee, uh, chips... Um, actually, if you could just drop a number into my account that would be easier.

Mr.F: Not for me. You know so much about blackjack now, why don't you play a little?

Kamal: What, or I'm going to end up in a ditch?

Aiden: Kamal, come on. Don't get angry. Play a little. Try your luck. Here, these little chip clips go on your belt. Keep them in front or people will rob you blind.

Mr.F: Don't spend it all in one place. (smirking)

taupe_sir

Kamal: Huh, a tangerine chip. And it plays a vid. Okay, that's cool. (counting) Huh, well, maybe just blackjack. Deal me in.

Dealer: Um, you can't play that chip here, sir, this table has a ten thousand limit.

Kamal: Oh, uh, what about these uh, caramel colored ones.

Dealer: Taupe, sir.

Kamal: Yeah, can I play these at this table?

Dealer: The cashier's over there, sir. Would you like an armed escort?

Kamal: Armed? Uh, no, no thanks.

(walks to cashier)

crates_and_a_dolly

Cashier: How can I help you, sir?

Kamal: I'd like to cash this out please.

Cashier: (alarmed) Oh, uh... I'll, uh, have to get a manager to open the vault, sir. It'll be just a moment. And, we'll get you a basket. No uh, no, uh, some crates, and a dolly, perhaps?

Kamal: Crates? Uh, never mind, I think I'd better just uh--

Cashier: (relieved) --Take it back?

Kamal: (amazed) Take it back...

Cashier: Ooo, you have a fine evening, sir.

"The Wedding" (Rani)
old_maid
 * Audio Compilation 8min 05sec

Sarah: Hey! Rani, where are you?

Rani: In a rental car, an hour out of dog-town.

Sarah: Oh thanks for coming. I was kind of worried, what with the new job in Boston and all--

Rani: --I'd miss the wedding? Sarah-John, I wouldn't have taken the job if I couldn't be your old maid. Come on...

Sarah: Heh, you're either lying or stupid.

Rani: I'll plead the 5th.

Sarah: We got the gown, we're just checking the final steps.

Rani: Oh, what color is it?

Sarah: It'll start out white, and then during the reception it'll--

Rani: --Liar, liar, pants on fire

Sarah: Would you stop that? You stop that! (giggles) It'll become a pale, pale(?), pale tint of pink(?), and then slowly it'll darken until it's a deep gorgeous rose.

Rani: Oh honey, it sounds gorgeous.

Sarah: You hate it. You think it sounds cheap.

Rani: No! I don't! (chatter beep) Oh hell, hold on, my boss is calling.

(chatter beep on)

a_cow

Ms.Lawson: Rani, I was looking over my monthly reports,... where are you?

Rani: I'm in Kentucky for my cousin's wedding. I put the request in your inbox like you said.

Ms.Lawson: Oh, right. (cow moo) What was that?

Rani: (embarrassed) A cow, ma'am. Crossing a road, ma'am.

Ms.Lawson: Oh...sounds...big.

Rani: They are bigger before they cut them up and put them into packages. Ma'am, I did track down that call.

Ms.Lawson: Which call?

Rani: The man from Troy who wanted to know if we had his family papers. Doesn't exist. The call was a fraud.

Ms.Lawson: Hm. Good work, Rani.

Rani: And ma'am?

Ms.Lawson: Yes.

Rani: What were the marines doing on Troy?

Ms.Lawson: Oh Rani, there's a war on.

Rani: No, but they were evacuating Troy before it fell, like they knew it was going to be attacked.

Ms.Lawson: There was no evacuation of Troy. It must be some error. But, good work on that prank call. And get that report to me on Monday.

(chatter beep off)

light_a_candle

Rani: That was weird.

Sarah: What was weird?

Rani: My boss... anyway, the dress sounds beautiful. And besides, you're the prettiest girl in town.

Sarah: Now that is so not true. If it was, I'd have been the prom queen or something.

Rani: You know Leona Philpot was a very special case.

(laughs)

Rani: If you'd broken your neck diving into a pool and were in a wheel chair bravely undergoing spinal column regeneration...

Sarah: (giggles) That's all I have to do to be homecoming queen?

Rani: "Better to light a candle than curse your darkness", Sarah-John! A little initiative.

Sarah: I've got to go. Now you drive straight to the church for rehearsal dinner, okay?

Rani: Okay.

Sarah: And then we'll fetch your 'old maid' of honor dress.

Rani: (laughs) I can't wait.

Sarah: See ya.

tomcatting_around

(Rani enters the church, whispering heard in the distance as she approaches)

Nick: ...if you don't want to marry her you should tell her.

Jason: ...I couldn't do that to Sarah-John.

Nick: ...Better call it off now than start...tomcatting around.

Jason: ...She's already got names picked out for our kids. Kaleb, Tamara, and Erin-Marie.

Nick: ...Kaleb? (giggling)

Rani: Excuse me?

Jason: Rani! Oh God, I didn't mean to... I... I, um... I didn't hear you come in...

riled_up

Rani: You leave Sarah-John at the altar Jason Gattlinburg Pope, and I'll tell your mother what you and Dale really did last year in New Orleans. And Sarah-John too.

Jason: R-Rani...

Nick: Marry in haste...

Jason: Nick, don't.

Nick: Repent at leisure, and if you don't mind, this conversation didn't include you...

Jason: Rani, I was--

Rani: --Anything that hurts my cousin involves me, thank you.

Jason: Rani, this is my friend Nick.

Rani: I don't care for your choice of friends, Jason.

Jason: Nick, this is Sarah-John's cousin, Rani...

Nick: It's his choice of wives that's the issue here.

Rani: That is none of your damn business.

Jason: ...from Boston...

Nick: You marry now, you leave her later, who does that help?

Rani: Oh, Jason isn't going to leave her.

Jason: That sure is a nice dress Rani.

Rani: Jason's going to be a good boy.

Nick: Oh man, there's your southern girl Jas--

Jason: --Nick, please, I don't want to get Rani all riled up.

Rani: Too late!

Jason: I think I hear my mom calling...

Nick: Bossy, interfering, self-righteous know-it-all--

Rani: Who the hell--

Sarah: Hey! It's all my favorite people!

Everyone: (various) Oh, hey there Sarah-John! How's it going?

watch_your_pins

Rani: Didn't you and Jason have your first kiss right here in this room?

Sarah: Mhm! Mama was cooking dinner downstairs. I still remember it.

Rani: Hold still.

Sarah: I'm so sick of this dress, and this wedding. We should have eloped!

Rani: Well, there's still an hour.

Sarah: (giggles) So, what did you think of Nick?

Rani: How much I'd like to see him sucked into a combine.

Sarah: What? Why?

Rani: He was provoking me.

Sarah: I was sure you'd hit it off, that's why I paired you two up!

Rani: You what??

Sarah: Ow! Watch your pins!

Rani: Hold still then!

Sarah: I just want people to have a good time.

(page beep)

Rani: Dammit!

Sarah: Rani!

Rani: I'm sorry...

(chatter beep on)

Rani: Hi Ms.Lawson, you're working late.

no_evacuation

Ms.Lawson: Hm. Just clearing up some paperwork. Rani, you just got a priority message from fleet. A response to a query you sent from this office to a Marine Lance Corporal Gobi?

Rani: A message? Can you forward it?

Ms.Lawson: What is this about Rani?

Rani: He was on Troy during the evac.

Ms.Lawson: There was no evacuation of Troy. Millions died.

Rani: Oh, but there was an evac. Not of everyone, but remember the guy with the family papers?

Ms.Lawson: He was a fraud. You determined that.

Rani: But the marines really were on Troy, ma'am.

Ms.Lawson: That's enough. You are not to waste this office's resources. Your inquiry is closed.

Rani: Eh, but ma'am--! (chatter beep off) ...Dammit.

upright_and_locked

Nick: Your dress is very... pink...

Rani: Thank you. Your uniform is very... crisp.

Nick: Uh... so Jason, my friend who doesn't want to wreck your cousin's life says you work at--

Rani: --All he has to do is keep his mouth and his zipper in the upright and locked position.

Nick: A lot of guys get cold feet before a wedding.

Rani: It's not his feet he's worried about...

Nick: He has to feel like he chose.

Rani: But you don't even know--

Nick: --If he feels trapped, if he feels like, like he got suckered, she - she's going to pay for that for the rest of her life. Someone has to show him the way out.

Rani: You're right.

Nick: And he has to see himself choose to work up to that--... what?

reach_is_gone

Rani: I said, you're right.

Nick: I am?

Rani: And don't get all cocky about it.

Nick: Yes, sir.

(PA system): I'm sorry to interrupt everyone's dinner, but I have an announcement. I just got word, that the fleet base at Reach... the Covenant... Reach is gone.

Rani: Oh my God...

Nick: Oh God...

Rani: Reach is only 11 light years from earth.

Nick: 10.5, yeah. There's nothing left between them and us.

cemetery

Rani: Careful, that's a tombstone, they're--

Nick: Ow! Jeez...

Rani: --easy to trip over in the dark.

Nick: I'll, remember that...

(giggles)

Rani: This here's the Lickglider-Miller Cemetery. That side of the mountain used to be Lickglider, and this side was Miller's.

Nick: I-I'm shipping out in 11 hours, and you brought me to a cemetery?

Rani: Oh my god, I wasn't even thinking. When I was in high-school, this is where we used to hang out, and drink beer...

Nick: Well, pardon me miss, is this tomb taken?

Rani: No, sir. Sit right down.

Nick: I don't mind if I do.

Rani: You know, when... when they said glassed, I used to think of this vast plain of green glass, miles deep... beautiful. I mean, I know it doesn't really look like that...

grass_stains

Nick: Well you're kind of like that. You've got this hard glass outside, you don't let people in, do you?

Rani: I brought you up here, didn't I?

Nick: Yeah.

Rani: *cough* Um, people used to do more than just drink beer up here you know?

Nick: Oh did they?

Rani: You know, guys would bring their girls up here, and...

Nick: ...oh. Rani... (kiss)

Rani: Yeah?

Nick: what about your dress? (kiss) Grass stains and stuff...

Rani: It's a bride's maid's dress. No one ever wears them again.

(laughs)

Nick: I guess they don't.

"Bang" (Janissary)
one_point_oh
 * Audio Compilation 6min 53sec

(car door opens) Jan: So dad, where are we going? How long is this going to take?

(car door closes)

James J: Remember, you wanted to meet some more of my old 'buddies'?

Jan: Like Gladys?

James J: Nobody's like Gladys (giggles) When they canceled the program they split us up.

Jan: Us...?

James J: Spartans. Spartan 1 point 0.

Jan: (sarcastic) Sure, dad. You were an 'elite commando' with 'metal bones' and a flamethrower attachment that the marines dropped in when the tac-nukes weren't enough.

James J: Not paranoid mythology, a real Spartan.

Jan: There were real ones?

James J: WE were real. We were all volunteers, the 1.0's. These things they call Spartans now...

Jan: --it's different?

James J: There's a new program... we went through some tweaks, but it's still just me in here. The 2's... now, the 2's aren't even human any more.

Jan: But, you are...?

James J: All too much.

not_anymore

Jan: W-Wait a sec, you know you don't have to make up cool stuff to impress me, right? Like, I'm not gonna suddenly going to start cleaning my room more often because I think you were a super soldier with a secret past.

James J: I never, ever thought you would clean your room more often. Spartans pick their battles.

Jan: You're not trying to bond with me here, are you?

James J: When the news came yesterday...

Jan: About Reach?

James J: That's where they brought us. That's where they made us... Section 3 compound.

Jan: Do you still have friends there?

James J: Not anymore.

Jan: Oh.

James J: The training... the training was so hard, Jan. I mean the work, the tests... and what they did to us in the lab.

Jan: The-the thing you taught me about how to beat the quiz, that's a Spartan thing, isn't it?

cochlear_tuning

James J: The ones who made it through, we were family. We were tighter than family.

Jan: Is this trip some kind of Spartan thing?

James J: One of my old buddies isn't doing so good.

Jan: Hm, I get to meet another one of your superfriends.

James J: Jan, I--

Jan: Oh hey, did... did I get injections when I was a baby?

James J: I guess you noticed you're not a typical kid.

Jan: Well, I do have excellent table manners.

James J: ...superior muscle density

Jan: ...lung capacity.

James J: ...some eye work.

Jan: ...balance?

James J: Cochlear tuning.

Jan: And when the cops took me and they did tests?

James J: Right.

Jan: And that would have turned up...

James J: Right.

Jan: So you...

James J: Pretty much.

dream_child

Jan: So what's even... me? I mean what's not just Spartan-I 'voodoo potion'?

James J: Well, those table manners for one.

Jan: Dad...

James J: The way you roll your eyes at me, how you hate doing dishes...

Jan: Dad...!

James J: That's all you, honey. Hell, if I'd known, I would have told the medic to skip all that fancy stuff and just cut me a nice kid.

Jan: Oh 'nice', you didn't want a nice kid.

James J: (laughs)

Jan: You wanted a kid who would happily learn 23 ways to kill a man, armed only with a stick of chewing gum. James J: You don't really think that do you?

Jan: I'm your dream child, dad. Don't kid yourself.

James J: Okay, we're here. Now you wait in the car.

(James leaves... Jan leaves)

funnest_fieldtrips

(Jan walks up stairs)

James J: What are you doing?

Jan: Going up the stairs with you.

James J: I thought I told you to stay in the car.

Jan: You did.

James J: So I expected you to stay there.

Jan: You did? Huh...

James J: (sigh) Jan.

Jan: Yes, Dad?

James J: Alright. Okay, Gilly's in #6. Uh, Jan?

Jan: Yeah?

James J: We're gonna wanna knock maybe from off to one side of the door.

Jan: Oh. Gee, my dad takes me on the funnest fieldtrips ever.

(knocks)

James J: Gilly? You there?

stockpile

Gilly: (muffled) Jim?

(door opens)

Gilly: This the girl?

James J: Hey Gilly... Y'alright?

Gilly: She's pretty. Come into the kitchen.

Jan: Whoah, quite a stockpile.

Gilly: Well I picked up a hand-cannon from a guy who needed some quick cash. Put the bet pennies to work.

James J: Come on Gilly...

Gilly: I got the gauge, and I thought, okay that's good in tight but it won't give me squat at range, and so I went looking for an SRS.

James J: Gilly...

Gilly: And it didn't make sense not to have a good-all purpose.

James J: You don't need any--

Gilly: I'll still feel better when I've got a pop-gun around.

James J: The grenades?

Gilly: The girl's gotta accessorize, Jim.

Jan: Men never understand...

can_opener

Gilly: The M6B was a throw-in on one of the other deals. I can't remember which one. She's prettier than I expected. Some of those early pictures weren't too promising.

James J: They're in good shape.

Jan: ...pictures?

Gilly: I've been cleaning them. Plus I haven't been sleeping so good.

James J: How many days Gilly?

Gilly: A couple.

James J: Couple?

Gilly: Five.

James J: It's time to go back, Gilly.

Gilly: I don't want to go back to pasture Jim.

Jan: Wh-what pictures?

Gilly: I thought I could make it. Out here, you know. Most of the time, I can.

James J: Except...

Gilly: Then I catch myself watching people.

James J: I know.

Gilly: THAT way.

James J: I know.

Gilly: Maybe a guy in the grocery store, he'll be reaching up for a box of powdered milk--

James J: --and you'll see...?

Gilly: Maybe a can opener on the next shelf. One of the punch kinds.

James J: And you're already thinking where to put him afterwards.

chain_oil

Gilly: And yesterday, we heard the news from Reach.

James J: Yeah?

Gilly: There's some memories about that.

James J: Yeah.

Gilly: So, anyway, I heard about it in the store, people talking... And on the way home this kid was fixing his bike.

James J: Gilly, it's okay.

Gilly: I had the chain in my hands Jim, standing behind him. I could see all the little hairs on the back of his neck and I could feel the little bumps it was going to leave.

Jan: Jeezus.

Gilly: And it felt great. It felt great.

James J: But, you didn't?

Gilly: No. I spent hours washing the chain oil off my hands. Hours and hours.

Jan: You need help.

Gilly: Ya think?

housekeeping

James J: I'll ride with you, Jan can take my car home.

Gilly: No, I... lost my license.

James J: What did you do?

Gilly: I don't believe I'm going to talk about that in front of her.

James J: Okay. We should probably go.

Gilly: Not yet, okay, Jim? Give me a week to think it over. It might work out fine. It all might work out fine. I want a week of my life to sit around and know what's going to happen and not have to fear it.

James J: You promise me that's all you're going to do?

Jan: Dad?

Gilly: Yeah. That's all I want.

Jan: Dad, she's complet-

Gilly: This is between your father and me.

Jan: But--

James J: Jan, she earned the right.

Gilly: 1 point 0.

James J: 1 point 0. (door closes) But we are going to do a little housekeeping.

bang

(the sound of unloading weapons)

Jan: Clip.

James J: Pass it over. What's left?

Jan: Just finishing the M6.

Gilly: Put the slide back on the frame.

Jan: Dad?

Gilly: Do it!

Jan: I am not in your unit, and I don't have to take orders from you.

Gilly: Of course you do. I'm your mother. (the guns drop to the table) (awkward silence)

Jan: ...the pictures...

Gilly: You should've told her Jim.

James J: ...Yeah

Gilly: Sooner... or later... life gets the drop on you, kid. (cocks and aims gun at Jan)

Jan: Mom?

Gilly: (dry fire) Bang.

"A Soldier's Duty" (Jersey)
on_reach
 * Audio Compilation 3min 53sec

(Jersey runs up stairs)

Jersey: Durga?

Durga: What's wrong?

Jersey: Is my dad on Reach? I mean, was he? You can find out, right? I gotta find out right now.

Durga: Yeah, I can find out. Hold on. Okay. He wasn't on Reach.

Jersey: Thank god.

Durga: He's on deep space reconnaissance on a ship called the Silberg.

Jersey: Phew. Oh, god. I don't know why I just thought...I was sure he was on Reach for a refit or something.

Durga: No, he's fine.

Jersey: Okay. You found him. How soon could you get him here? If you got him a fast picket? Like three weeks? Four? Durga?

Durga: I can't, Jersey.

duty

Jersey: You can! If it's encrypted, just break it.

Durga: It's not encrypted, I just can't. He's a soldier.

Jersey: So?

Durga: He knew what he signed up for. He's got a job to do and he's doing it. I'm sorry, Jersey.

Jersey: You can dump a billion in cash in my account and you can't get my dad rotated to a safe post on Earth?

Durga: It's not that I can't, I won't. I'm sorry.

Jersey: Durga, what about Team Jersey? I'm asking for this.

Durga: I know, but I won't. I'll do anything for you, but not that.

Jersey: Why not?

Durga: Because he's a soldier, he has a duty.

Jersey: This isn't about him, it's about me. It's about me having a dad.

Durga: How do you even know he even wants to be posted on Earth?

Jersey: Why don't you get this? This is my family!

Durga: I'm sorry, Jersey.

Jersey: Screw sorry, and screw you!

brain_ninjas

Durga: Want to hear some chatter? (Rani on chatter) Remember the guy with the family papers?

Jersey: Not particularly.

Durga: Want some pizza? (oven ding)

Jersey: Leave me alone, Durga.

Durga: I've got something new about Rani.

Jersey: I don't even know who the hell she is or why we give a damn about her.

Durga: She's a junior level spook at Chawla Base. She'd be a good donor brain for an AI.

Jersey: A what? A donor brain? People don't donate their brains, Durga, they need them.

Durga: That's where we come from. Cognitive Impression Modeling. They scan a human brain when someone they think is a good candidate dies.

Jersey: You come from people's brains?

Durga: Yeah, but really smart people. So, you're safe. The brain ninjas won't be coming for you in the middle of the night.

Jersey: (sarcastically) Oh, that's reassuring.

shut_you_off

Jersey: Well, actually...

Durga: It is reassuring.

Jersey: So, you're a copy of a real person?

Durga: You don't think I'm real?

Jersey: You know what I mean.

Durga: A copy of a personality, but I don't have her memories.

Jersey: Do you know who she was?

Durga: No. And I don't care.

Jersey: How can you not care?

Durga: Because that's the way I'm made.

Jersey: You don't care. Because that's the way you're made.

Durga: Jersey...

Jersey: My dad could be dying out there.

Durga: Yes.

Jersey: But you're not going to do anything about that.

Durga: So, Nick, the guy Rani met at the wedding. Nick's unit has been assigned to one of the space elevator defense bases.

Jersey: Safer than combat.

Durga: That's what they hope.

Jersey: So why can't you at least do something like that for my dad?

Durga: No. I won't do it, I told you.

Jersey: He would still be helping the war effort.

Durga: No.

Jersey: Dammit, Durga, I could cut the power supply. I could shut you off.

common_good

Durga: The answer is still no.

Jersey: Dammit!

Durga: Jersey.

Jersey: I couldn't really shut you down, could I?

Durga: No.

Jersey: You could just go somewhere else.

Durga: Yeah.

Jersey: But, even if I could, you'd still say no, because there's a bigger picture.

Durga: Yes.

Jersey: The common good of all mankind.

Durga: Yes.

Jersey: (sigh) So here's the thing. When I see you caring about your family... when I see you wondering who your donor was... when I see you care about any one person--

Durga: I care about you, Jersey.

Jersey: Then, I will try to care about all of mankind. Until then, all I know, is you're willing to let my father die.

by_accident Jersey: I'm sorry.

Durga: I'm sorry, too.

Jersey: You're sad.

Durga: Yes.

Jersey: Why?

Durga: Because you hurt. Because I can't fix it. Because I didn't even choose you, I just ended up here by accident. And even though I can do things you can't imagine, I still can't bear for you to be disappointed in me.

Jersey: I was wrong. You do get it.

Durga: What?

Jersey: Family.

"Feeding the Ducks" (Herzog)
(ducks quack)
 * Audio Compilation 2min 32sec

Standish: Colonel Herzog.

Herzog: Don't call me that.

Standish: You're offline.

Herzog: But you don't know that, do you? So, keep to protocol and avoid rank. Here, have some bread; feed the ducks.

Standish: You're an odd duck to be lecturing on protocol.

Herzog: Wit, Standish? Is that wit you're straining at?

Standish: I lack your old school panache I'm afraid.

Herzog: You want anything?

Standish: What are you doing nosing around the Apocalypso?

Herzog: Hmm... getting ready to retire. I was looking to pick up an old yacht. Cheap.

Standish: You want an investigation, you investigate through channels, Herzog. Just like any other policeman.

wetwork wetwork

Standish: But don't compromise my operations!

Herzog: Wetwork - such a strange word. Conjures up the sound of a woman, being hit by a bus.

Standish: She wasn't hit by a bus! Her... vehicle malfunctioned!

Herzog: I was being metaphorical, but... wetwork requires approval, doesn't it?

Standish: Are you aware there's a war going on? Reach has fallen.

Herzog: No one knows how long until there are Covenant ships in our skies.

Standish: And you're worried about procedures.

Herzog: Do you want to go down in the history books as the man with the device, Standish?

Standish: "The mysterious Covenant device..." If you know of a Covenant device, I'm sure we'd be happy to hear about it.

dangerous_devices

Herzog: That device isn't going to win any battles if it sits in a Section-III lockdown lab where nobody but your team can study it.

Standish: If there was a device, it would be a very dangerous device. And dangerous devices would need special care.

Herzog: But you want to control it, don't you?

Standish: I want to win this war.

Herzog: I think it's going to take more than just you, Standish, to win this war.

Standish: I have reported everything to the Admiral, Herzog. If you have concerns about the way I run my department, you'll have to take it up with him.

Herzog: I respect the Admiral. Maybe we should talk about Troy then, and uh, Harmony.

a_schoolgirl

Herzog: And code breakers.

Standish: Herzog, I demand to know your source.

Herzog: Yes, a security breach; that, Major, is worrying, isn't it? But it was just a supposition on my part.

Standish: But...but...

Herzog: And some basic investigation a schoolgirl could do.

Standish: Who've you got working on this? One of your moles? Some low level parasite in someone else's department? Isn't that your standard operating procedure?

Herzog: It's always useful to meet with you Standish.

(Standish parting)

Standish: At Chawla Base, right? A schoolgirl, Herzog?

Herzog: (to himself) Avi, old friend, you're right. I am too old for this.

Standish: I'm good at plugging leaks, old man.