Axon Clips Chapter 11

"Heroes" (Everyone)
Audio Compilation 23 mins 17sec

badges_please

Jersey: I don't know about you guys, but I think we look great in these uniforms.

Kamal: Mine's scratchy.

Jersey: Okay, I mostly meant Jan and me look great.

Kamal: Gee thanks.

Jersey: You, not so much.

Jan: Jersey...

Jersey: Yeah?

Jan: Some people, when they're nervous, they get all quiet.

Jersey: Yeah, I'm not really that type.

Jan: Try.

Kamal: Okay, here comes the perimeter guard. Try not to look guilty.

Guard: Welcome to Chawla Base, badges please.

Jan: Oh, yeah, right... um... (gets badges)

Guard: They let you join up? What are you, 12?

Jan: What are you? 50?

firewall Guard: Watch that mouth, recruit.

Jersey: Let's everybody ease up. You're doing your job, we're doing ours.

Guard: Okay. But you, learn a little respect.

Durga: (on chatter) Okay, we're about to pass the Chawla ambient chatter firewall. They're going to cut off all transmissions-- (interference)

Jersey: Durga?

Kamal: She's gone.

Jersey: Oh, we'll get her back. Okay Jan, park in the non-uniform lot and let's go!

(parks the car)

Jan: Okay, everybody ready?

Jersey: There's still time to go back to my plan.

Jan: *sigh*

(door slides open)

packet_monkeys

Jan: So, do we need a specific one, or just any telecom shack?

Jersey/Kamal: (over each other) Well it depends on--

Jan: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Forget I asked. According to Rani's schematic, this should be telecom shack #4. Work your magic geek-boys, I'll be outside.

Jersey: Good, yeah, you keep an eye out.

(Jan exits)

Jan: Keep it down guys, someone's coming.

Soldier: Hey, who goes there? Heh, and what's your chatter addy?

Jan: (smirks) Tech Spec Lee... and that number's classified, buddy.

Soldier: Whatcha doing on my beat? Making sure the servers don't get out?

Jan: Eh, techs at work. Can't be too careful with these packet monkeys.

Soldier: Yeah, what's up with that?

Jan: I don't know. Monkey stuff. Hey, uh, I'm new in Boston. What's worth seeing around here?

Soldier: Well, there's a pretty cool scuba tour of the old subway tunnel. You want a guide? I'd be glad to volunteer.

(switch: Kamal)

encryption_augment

Jersey: Headset, vice plates, alligator clips, optical converter. We've got to crosslink the chatter protocol to the darknet here, and...here.

Kamal: We've gone over this.

Jersey: Still no sign of Durga. Damn it, Kamal. Test the uplink gate.

Kamal: Uplink's fine.

Jersey: Then why is Durga still outside?

Kamal: You tell me. Look, green lights all the way down. Check your ports again.

Jersey: Ports are perfect.

Kamal: Probably something is mincing the input stream. Try opening 100 consecutive data channels.

Jersey: What?

Kamal: Sometimes the UNSC uses a spread spectrum arbitrator as an encryption augment.

Jersey: They what with the what?!

Kamal: Jersey, just do it!

roomy_fast_cold

Jersey: Yeah yeah, opening port 42--

Durga: Thank you boys, I'm in, mobile, and copying my primary data structure. (bing) Copy complete.

Jersey: (sings) Go, Team Jersey, go go, Team Jersey!

Kamal: Good grief.

Durga: Man, it's nice in here! Roomy, fast...cold!

Kamal: Not like running a jury-rigged home bandwidth mixer?

Jersey: The navy and I happen to have very different business plans. (sounds outside)

Kamal: What the hell was that? Is Jan signaling something?

Jan: (through the door) Yes! Hurry the hell up before I come in there and kick your butts!

Kamal: Whoa! Good ears.

building_forty_one

Rani: God, y'all are late! I nearly chickened out three times.

Jersey: So, this is it.

Rani: Building 41.

(opening doors)

Kamal: These are like bank vault doors.

Jan: Yeah, for the first commercial bank of Hell! It would take a Scorpion to get through these things.

Durga: According to the base schematics, this door is the only entrance to the lockdown lab.

(door slams)

Kamal: And the only way out, right? Like if there's an alarm, all they have to do is sit on the other side of this door and wait for us to come through?

Jan: Right.

Kamal: So...

Rani: Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

Jersey: (quietly hums) Dun, dun, du-dun, dun da--

Jan: Would you knock that off!

Jersey: So are we officially committing treason yet?

Kamal: Jersey!

treason

Private: Excuse me, this entire building including the clean-room observation bay is strictly red badge and up--

Rani: Security sweep! I'm going to have to ask you all to clear the building.

Private: But the standing orders--

Rani: Sorry, orders.

Private: Well, I've got to see some identifi--

Rani: Private! Dorking - if you want to go back to what ever mud-filled life you had on Mamore, you can stay in my face!

Private: Ma'am?

Rani: Do you know what the penalty is for chewing pick-up sticks on duty, private?

Private: Pick-up sticks? I never ch--

Rani: In the barracks, it's only a misdemeanor. But as soon as you walked through the front door of a level 5 security zone, it became treason! Did you know that private?!

Private: Treason?

Rani: They broadcast the injections for treason you know.

Private: Wh-whatever you need, ma'am. Just don't turn me in.

Rani: Thank you. (into PA system) Security sweep! Please clear this wing immediately!

security_sweep

Rani: Leave all work untouched in its current location. I repeat - this is a security sweep.

Jan: Did Durga give you the Mamore thing?

Rani: Didn't you see his tattoo? That cross in the circle, he's a Kelorist. They all come from Mamore.

Jan: And the pick-up sticks?

Rani: You didn't see the stains on his teeth?

Kamal: I like this girl!

Rani: (on intercom) Alright team, let's begin our inspection. *sigh* Okay, we've got to work fast. These security drills usually only last a couple minutes.

Jersey: Wait...

(switch: Jersey)

argon

Jan: There's still like five guys down in the clean room.

Jersey: Cool, they look like big gold-plated bugs in those vacsuits!

Jan: Didn't they hear the announcement about the security sweep?

Durga: I'm afraid they couldn't hear Rani through the public intercom. Looks like the clean room is another black box.

Jersey: Let me guess, that's bad.

Durga: I was hoping to use instruments to manipulate the artifact, but I can't get in there. Someone is going to have to turn it off by hand.

Jersey: Well, is it complicated?

Durga: Not really. But the room is full of argon.

Jersey: And that's bad.

Kamal: Two for two, boy genius. Argon prevents corrosion and electrical arcing...

Rani: ...But you can't breath it.

Jersey: Okay, not breathing is bad.

Rani: Anyone ever put on a vacsuit?

Jan: Jersey has.

a_soldier_now

Kamal: You?

Jersey: Yeah, my dad. There was an accident, and he got picked up after like ten hours in space. They sent his vacsuit home as a memento. I used to put it on and pretend I was a Helljumper and stuff.

Jan: (giggles) You looked like such a dork running around the tenement in that thing.

Jersey: But in a cute way, right?

Jan: Yeah, okay.

Jersey: Well, I guess that means I'm going into the clean room.

Durga: Jersey shouldn't go.

Jan: Well, who should?

Durga: I don't know. Someone else. There are soldiers in there.

Jan: They're probably just techs.

Durga: They're techs with guns and military training.

Jersey: Hey, hey. Remember all that stuff you said? About how a soldier's got to do his duty?

Durga: You aren't a soldier.

Rani: Covenant's coming, Durga. Everyone's a soldier now.

the_hero_type

Durga: Fine. There's a vacsuit locker right under this room with an airlock to the clean room.

Jersey: Kamal, you come help me get the suit on. They're a bee-atch to do yourself. For all her superpowers, Durga can't even get the lid off a jar of pickles.

Kamal: You've got it.

Jersey: If I get into trouble...

Jan: In a room full of argon?

Jersey: Actually, I think I would just die. Never mind.

Jan: Hey, Jersey...

Jersey: Yeah?

Jan: Maybe you are the hero type.

suffocate

(putting on the vacsuit)

Jersey: Ugh! Thank God for a sound-proof airlock between the clean room and the vacsuit locker.

Kamal: Are you sure that's where your arm goes?

Jersey: Want me to show you where my fist goes?

Kamal: Yeah, yeah. You're from the mean streets of the demob zone, I know. Listen, if there's a leak in your suit, you won't know that you're suffocating until it's too late.

Jersey: Oh, that's comforting.

Durga: Triangles, lines, dots.

Jersey: Durga! I've got it already - triangles, dots, lines.

Durga: Jersey, try to concentrate!

Jersey: Just messing with you.

Durga: Jersey...

Jersey: Okay, Kamal, screw that helmet on tight. I know I'm a hero and all, but even heroes can't get babes when they're dead.

lockdown_lab

Jan: (pacing) God, I hate being stuck up here on the observation bay. What's taking them so long?

Durga: He's putting on his vacsuit.

Jan: You know I'm looking at a monitor here and the natives are getting restless outside the building.

Durga: I know, I'm jamming the door.

Jan: Are there any other ways in here? Or, more importantly, out?

Durga: Not really, that's what makes it a lockdown lab--

Jan: --lockdown lab, right.

Rani: Triangles, lines, dots... triangles, lines... oh...

Jan: I still say I'd feel better with a few flash grenades.

Rani: Durga - I don't think it's a toggle like a light switch. Triangles, lines, dots - it's a countdown. Of course it is! Jersey's got to do it the other way.

Durga: Dots, lines, triangles?

Rani: Yes!

Durga: Are you sure?

Rani: No!

homing_signal

Durga: Oh, great. Telling Jersey now.

Jan: We're not sure what we're supposed to do to the artifact? What if we guess wrong?

Durga: If we're lucky, we knock out the whole planet's comm channels, and send a huge homing signal to the Covenant.

Jan: If we're lucky?! What happens if we aren't so lucky?

Durga: Well...

Jan: You know what, forget I asked. Wh-whoa, there's Jersey, he's in the room.

Rani: Yeh-oh. A guy with a black badge just showed up at the front door. I'm going down there to buy some time.

Jan: How?

Rani: I'll think of something. (running away) Durga - dots, lines, triangles. You've got that door jammed right?

Durga: For now.

acceptable_casualties

Kamal: (muffled, on other side of door) Okay, you're in the airlock my friend.

Jersey: I love airlocks. Who doesn't love airlocks?

Kamal: Dude... good luck.

Jersey: Thanks... (whistles) Okay. Out with the air, in with the argon.

Durga: Have you got it?

Jersey: (breathing heavy) Yeah... dots... triangles... lines...

Durga: Dots, lines, triangles, Jersey.

Jersey: Jeezus Durga! You just had to change it on me at the last minute!

Durga: Dots, lines... Jersey, don't go. Not yet.

Jersey: You've got to shut the airlock, kiddo. We're out of time.

Durga: I'm scared.

Jersey: Yeah, I'm scared too, but it's what I've got to do.

Durga: Go ahead Jersey... (weakly) Goodbye...

(airlock opens)

airlock

Jan: Jersey's in. So far, so good. Just another gold headed worker dude.

Durga: If they try to hurt him--

Jan: Durga, he'll be fine. And frankly, you can't get into the clean room. What could you really do?

Durga: I don't know. Create a distraction? Crash a plane into the base, say?

Jan: That seems a little extreme.

Durga: Acceptable casualties are a part of every mission's calculus.

Jan: Okay...

Durga: And I take care of my people.

top_hats_or_dice

Kamal: (fiddles with dice) Top hat. (dice) Top hat. You call it Durga, top hats or dice?

Durga: Kamal...

Kamal: That's weird, it might be he was shot to death in five minutes, but right now Jersey's on the other side of that door either saving the planet or blowing it up, and I have absolutely nothing to do. Tumbling dice!

Durga: Kamal, there's something you should know about Sophie. She didn't go back to Aiden.

Kamal: Ya, well she didn't come to the bus station. (dice) Top hat.

Durga: No, they sent her to a refugee camp.

Kamal: What? (drops the dice)

Durga: A crooked immigration cop tried to get her to rat you out for your chips. When she wouldn't betray you, he sent her to the camps.

Kamal: Sophie... But, why didn't you tell me sooner?

Durga: I thought you would be more likely to come on this mission if you were willing to die.

Kamal: Why the hell tell me NOW?!

Durga: Now I want you motivated to live.

Kamal: Dammit I knew it!

Durga: What?

Kamal: You really are Yasmine, you... brat.

grenade

(trying to open door from outside)

Rani: (shouts) I think it's jammed! (to herself) Make confused face Rani, dither around...

Outside: (commotion, trying to get in) This building is strictly red badge and up!

Rani: What's that?! I'm sorry, I only have a green badge! The door says I'm not cleared to open it!

Outside: (muffled) Jeezus! This is f*cking ridiculous! F*ck! Let's move to grenades! (?)

Rani: Eh, Durga? Did I just hear the word 'grenade'?

Durga: They're...discussing options.

Rani: (nervous laugh) How much longer do I have to stall?

Durga: No more than... Jersey!!

Rani: Durga??

crashing_planes

Durga: Jersey!

Jan: I see it!

Durga: I'll create a distraction. Locating...

Jan: Durga, stop! No crashing planes, I'll handle it. I'm going down there.

(runs down stairs)

she_took_a_bullet

Durga: Kamal, get away from the door.

(door opens)

Kamal: Jan?

Jan: Durga!

Durga: Overriding airlocks...

(airlock opens)

Kamal: You can't go in there without a vacsuit!

Jan: I'll hold my breath!

Durga: I have no sensors in there! Kamal!

Kamal: Jan has just taken out the two... no, the three... JERSEY!

(gunshot, scream)

Durga: Jersey!

Kamal: Jan!

(scream, yells of exertion)

Kamal: Oh, my God!

Durga: What?!

Kamal: I think Jan just... broke a guy's jaw with her elbow!

Durga: Jersey...!

Kamal: Jersey's alright, it's Jan... she took a bullet!

blood

Rani: Maybe you can slide a badge under the door! (slams continue) Durga, what's happening?

Durga: The techs jumped Jersey, Jan ran down to help. She took them out, but she took a bullet doing it.

Rani: Is she...?

Durga: Not dead, not great. She and Kamal are dragging a couple of guys with ruptured vacsuits out of the clean room. There's a lot of blood on the back of her shirt.

Officer: Open the door right now!

Rani: And Jersey? What about the artifact?

Durga: I can't get into the sensors there, but I think he's almost done.

(switch: Kamal) stay_with_me →

Kamal: That's the last! Durga, cycle the airlock!

(airlock closes)

(Jan's coughing)

Kamal: Stay with me, girl.

Jan: I'm okay...

Kamal: You're not okay. Hold still.

Jan: It's... my neck. It's the side of my neck feels kind of funny.

Kamal: Look at me...

Jan: Yeah, sure.

Kamal: Okay Jan, are you in a lot pain?

Jan: Yeah, not too bad, I just... can't breath though. Sc-screamed when I took the bullet and I lost some oxygen.

Kamal: Yeah, you may have inhaled some argon, but I think your hemopneumothorax is your real problem.

Jan: Hemopneumo...?

Kamal: Collapsed lung.

quit_smoking

Kamal: Okay, now turn... gently. The bullet entered just below your clavicle... broke your 5th rib on its way out.

Jan: Does... that mean, I have to quit smoking? (small chuckle)

Kamal: You should at least cut down.

Jan: (laughs) Ow...

Kamal: Okay... Okay, tilt your head up, look at me. Dilation very good...

Jan: What's that?

Kamal: It's my medkit. I'm checking your vitals. Do you feel dizzy?

Jan: (coughing) My face...

Kamal: Your vital signs are good. I believe we could actually - do you feel shocky at all?

Jan: Back... feels shocky.

shocky

Kamal: Okay, listen... I've got splint tape. I can't set that rib properly, but I can give it a little support so it doesn't hurt as much.

Jan: I'm hurting pretty good.

Kamal: This is going to feel a little warm when it activates, but it'll set in about 10 seconds. You okay? I'll give you blockers for the pain.

Jan: No, no, I don't need the blockers, I want to be clear-headed. (coughing)

Kamal: You get shocky fast if something smacks your chest.

Jan: No. It's alright. One point one...

Kamal: Durga, look! Jersey's back!

module_core_hemorrhage

Durga: Jersey!!!!

Jersey: Woohoo! Yeah-hah! I did it! We aren't all dead!

Durga: MODULE CORE HEMORRHAGE! WARNING! THIS MEDIUM IS CLASSIFIED AND HAS A STRONG INTRUSIVE INCLINATION! WARNING! NETWORK THROTTLING HAS ERODED!

Jersey: What the hell is that?! Durga? Is that you?

Durga: THIS MEDIUM HAS METASTASIZED!

Kamal: We aren't all dead, yet!

Jersey: Jeezus, Jan!

Durga: I love bees! I love bees...!

Kamal: Stay with me! Come on!

wide_awake_and_physical

Rani: Durga! What the hell is going on?!

Durga: THIS MEDIUM IS WIDE AWAKE AND PHYSICAL. MAKE YOUR DECISIONS ACCORDINGLY. BEES!!!

Outside: Fire in the hole!

Rani: Uh-oh. (runs)

(explosion)

Officer: You there, get down. Remain prone.

Durga: Shipwreck... We split... We hide... We bled... (sobbing) I love bees... I love bees!!!

Lieutenant: What the hell is that?

Durga: I'm drowning... I'm drowning...I'm so sad... I'm so scared!

foaming_with_spiders

Durga: I'm playing on the beach. Very young... making a castle out of sand... It's way better than my brother's. There's a boy on the beach next to me. But, a wave comes up foaming with spiders and takes away his face.

Kamal: Shh... Yasmine... it's me Yasmine... it's your brother... Kamal.

Durga: There are people who love me. I will not be forgotten. I will not be forgotten... I will not be forgotten... Kamal?! Kamal...?

spaghetti

Officer: What's your name?

Rani: Sobek, sir. Rani Sobek. Analyst 3, I work in Ms. Lawson's department. Please don't shoot me.

Officer: Well Miss Sobek, would you mind telling me what you're doing in a level five security zone? Lieutenant - take your men and make a quick sweep of the clean room.

Rani: No! Sir...

Officer: What the...

Rani: Uh, mines! Sir. They mined it.

Officer: Who?

Rani: The terrorists, sir. They mined the observation room and the clean room, too. I heard them laughing about it.

Officer: Mines...?

Rani: Spaghetti and red sauce, sir.

Officer: What?

Rani: That's what they said. First soldiers in the lab were going to be spaghetti in red sauce!

Officer: Lieutenant, send in the bomb squad.

zero_motor_function

Jan: We've got to get out!

Kamal: Yeah, no kidding!

Jan: Rani's buying time. But... no, it can't be much.

Durga: ACCESS ATTEMPT BLOCKED. WARNING! CONTINUED ATTEMPTS MAY TRIGGER THE EXERCISE OF LETHAL FORCE.

Kamal: No! We're helping each other, remember? Yasmine! Durga!

Durga: YASMINE ZAMAN. SPARTAN II INVOLUNTARY RECRUITMENT, 16 SEPTEMBER 2537. MEDICAL WASHOUT, ZERO MOTOR FUNCTION...

Kamal: (over Durga) I've never stopped missing you Yasmine. I've thought of you every day... every day.

Durga: ...DECEASED BEFORE JANUARY 2546. THIS DATA IS CLASSIFIED, MOST SECRET, AND SHALL NOT BE ACCESSED BY UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL.

Kamal: I'm not--

Durga: SHOCKINGLY EXCESSIVE FORCE IS THE BEST DETERRENT.

Kamal: I'm not accessing your data! Yasmine!

bug_out

Jersey: What the hell have you done to Durga?!

Jan: Look, bug out now! Or we'll be talking together later... a lot - in a cell...

Kamal: Okay... Okay, so here's the thing - we have to get back to a transmission shed and open the ports again.

Jersey: What?!

Kamal: She copied herself in, and we closed the ports. She's got to copy her new self back out, after this.. update.

Jan: Outside, sane Durga. Inside, crazy one. You want to let the crazy one-- (cough)

Kamal: At least herself inside stuff inside, includes Yasmine -- My sister!

Jersey: Dude, she is seriously scrambled! Let's just leave the scrambled one here--

Kamal: Try it, and I will take the gun off of one of these techs and shoot you like a dog!

access_violation

Jan: Oh crap. Okay... change mission in mid-stride... just like, every other general...

Jersey: Okay, okay, we'll do it your way.

Jan: Yeah, yeah... but Kamal? I could totally take you. With one lung behind my back.

Durga: WARNING! ACCESS VIOLATION! WARNING! ACCESS VIOLATION!

Jersey: What the hell happened?!

Kamal: It's the artifact. When you triggered it, it attacked her or scrambled her or something. And it woke up Yasmine.

Jersey: Durga! Can you hear me?

Durga: Jersey...

Jersey: Durga! If you're still in there somewhere, we really need your help!

Durga: I'm trying Jersey...

Kamal: Yasmine!

Durga: I'm here!

Jersey: Who's running the show in there?!

Durga: I am.

Jersey: Who?

Durga: Durga.

Jersey: Are you sure?

Durga: It's getting easier to compartmentalize.

Jersey: Nice to hear. Okay, we need to find out what's happening to Rani, and we need to think of a way to get the freak out of here.

Durga: I'll find Rani.

make_your_decisions

Officer: How long can it take for the damned bomb squad to get here!?

Lieutenant: There are no mines, or bombs, sir!

Rani: No sir, if you say so, sir. Only this here is the only way out. But it won't hurt to get the bomb squad in here because... the terrorists won't be going anywhere. Unless, they figure out a way to come straight through the walls.

Durga: This medium is licensed to defend itself. Make your decisions accordingly.

Officer: Girl, I hope to hell your story is true. Because something in that lab just put out the mother of all EMP spikes, dropped the chatternet out to Saturn, and generated massive realspace and Slipspace signals.

Lieutenant: If there's a better way to bring the Covies here, I can't think of it, sir.

Rani: Oh... my God...

Officer: You better hope God's on your side.

Lieutenant: Bomb squad's asking for orders sir.

Officer: Watch the prisoner Lieutenant. If she moves... shoot her.

Lieutenant: Hear that?

Rani: (whispers) If I brought the Covenant down on us, I'll deserve it.

with_a_tank

Durga: They've got Rani.

Jersey: Damn it.

Durga: But, she gave me an idea for how we can get out of here.

Jersey: Uh guys, these fellas are starting to wake up.

Durga: Start... Start moving. Out that door and to the left.

Jersey: Where are we going?

Durga: We are going to find an outside wall.

Jersey: Uh, Durga...?

Jan: There's something bigger...

Durga: I was thinking...

Kamal: Yasmine, Durga, somebody, please tell me what you're thinking.

Durga: (beeps) Ah, found something that will do nicely.

Jan: No other doors. So we make one.

Jersey: With what? Our fists?

Durga: No, with a tank.

Kamal: Durga will run it remote and use it to blow a hole in the side of the building!

Jan: Won't someone notice?

Durga: Not if there are enough distractions.

Jan: Oh, boy.

Durga: (chuckles) No planes, I promise.

Jersey: What's so funny?

Durga: Just thinking, the first time we ever heard Jan, she was trying to sneak out of a base.

Jan: I hope this time works out better.

my_crew

Jersey: Scorpions rock! When I get drafted, I want tank duty!

Kamal: I want to stop being a medic, and send people to hospitals where they belong.

Jan: Oh yeah. 'How did you get injured, Miss? Oh, breaking into a military base.'

Kamal: Durga, can you monitor her vital signs from this chatter?

Durga: Her vitals are fine, Kamal.

Kamal: I know, I just want to know if you can monitor. Although, you heal faster than anyone I've ever seen.

Jan: I could really get to like pain blockers. I feel all warm and drowsy.

Durga: I didn't take care of Rani.

Jersey: Durga, you were flipping out. You couldn't help it.

Durga: She's part of my crew.

Kamal: They aren't going to give her the coma, are they?

Durga: Not if I can help it.

dog_catcher

Jersey: Do you think Standish will get ahold of her?

Durga: Standish? Oh no, I'm not worried about Standish.

Jersey: You're not?

Durga: It appears Standish has been implicated in some catastrophic security breaches at Chawla Base. Major Standish is in some difficulty.

Jersey: Oh, man. You're not going to sick the dog catcher on him are you?

Durga: The dog catcher will be the least of the Major's worries.

Jersey: So, did we do it? Did we save the world?

Jan: Well, the world's still here.

Kamal: For now.