Avery J. Johnson/Quotes

Halo: Combat Evolved

 * "All you greenhorns who wanted to see Covenant up close? This is going to be your lucky day!" To the marines on the Pillar of Autumn.


 * "Well, there's only one thing left to say...(loudly, brashly vocalizes the "That's all, folks!" tune from Looney Toons)" When the player is killed if he attacks the bridge crew of the Pillar of Autumn.


 * "Get up, SO I CAN KILL YOU AGAIN!".


 * "ROADKILL".


 * "I would have been your daddy, but the dog beat me over the fence!"


 * "This is it, baby. Hold me." To a miscellaneous Elite, in the Legendary ending.

Pillar of Autumn Speeches
"Keep your eyes downrange, fingers on the triggers, and we all come home in one piece. Am I right, Marines?"

- Easy

"Once again, it is our job to finish what the flyboys started. We are leaving this ship, platoon, and engaging the Covenant on solid ground. When we meet the enemy, we will rip their skulls from their spines and toss them away, laughing! Am I right, Marines?"

- Normal

"Men, here is where we show those split-chinned squid-headed sons of bitches that they could not have picked a worse enemy than the human race. We are going to blow the hell out of those dumb bugs until we don't have anything left to shoot them with. Then we will strangle them with their own living guts! Am I right, Marines?"

- Heroic

"Men, we have led these dumb bugs out to the middle of no-where to keep them from gettin' their filthy claws on Earth. But, we stumbled on something they're so hot for, that they're scrambling over each other to get it. Well, I don't care if its God's own anti-son-of-a-bitch machine or a giant hula hoop, we're not going to let them have it! What we will let them have is a belly full of lead and a pool of their own blood to drown in! Am I right, Marines?"

- Legendary

Halo 2

 * "I'm too pretty to die!" If he is shot.


 * "I don't wanna kill ya, you're just too ugly to let live!".


 * "Dear Humanity... We regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!" Opening cutscene of Outskirts.


 * "We're going in. Get tactical marines!" Opening cutscene of Outskirts.


 * "We got Jackals in the courtyard!" During gameplay in Outskirts.


 * "Looks like your freaky little mouth just bit off more than it could chew" to a Grunt on the level, Outskirts.


 * "Don't they teach you kids how to swear in basic anymore!?" - Outskirts (Normal).


 * "Oh I know what the ladies like..." To Cortana when she thanks him for bringing her and the Master Chief a Tank...and while cocking a machine gun. Opening cutscene of Metropolis.


 * "(Spits) Say what?!" When he learns about Delta Halo in the opening cutscene of the level Delta Halo.


 * "Listen, you don't like me, and I sure as hell don't like you. But if we don't do something, Mr. Mohawk's gonna activate this ring, and we're all gonna die." To the Arbiter, while piloting a Scarab, during The Great Journey.


 * "Please...don't shake the light bulb!" Referring to 343 Guilty Spark in The Great Journey.


 * "Come on, Arbiter, kick that guy's ass!" To the Arbiter during combat with Tartarus, during The Great Journey.


 * "Don't make me take off my belt!"

Metropolis Speeches
"You had your chance to be afraid before you joined my beloved Corps! But, to guide you back to the true path, I brought this motivational device! Our big green style cannot be defeated!"

- Easy

"The Chief is gonna jump in this tank, roll across the bridge, and blow up any inhuman son-of-a-bitch dumb enough to get between him and the Prophet of Regret! Pull yourself together, cause you're going with him."

- Normal

"When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy-schmanzy tanks. We had sticks! Two sticks, and a rock for the whole platoon- and we had to share the rock! Buck up, boy, you are one very lucky marine!"

- Heroic

"Usually the good Lord works in mysterious ways. But not today! This here is 66 tons of straight-up, H.E-spewing dee-vine intervention! If God is love, then you can call me Cupid!"

- Legendary

Halo 3

 * "Whats aspect ratio? Its the size and shape of your screen, fool!" On the AV Calibration tool.

Books

 * "The Flood? Hell Chief, tts going to take more than that pack of walking alien horro-show freaks to take out Sergeant A. J. Johnson!"


 * "Those Covenant sissies are going to have to tango with me before they set one foot in this room!"


 * "That doesn't look like an Uneven Elephant to me, looks more like two squids kissing."


 * Help me with the lady, she weighs more than your last girlfriend."


 * "Just shoot me now, Sarge amd get it over with. Don't torture me with that crap first."


 * "Suck it up, Marine. This is a classic."


 * "So's a mercy killing."