I kissed a boy once.

“I kissed a boy once.” is a flash-fiction story included in the Halo Wars: Official Strategy Guide. It’s about a nurse named Hershey stationed aboard the during her night shift, who picks a discussion with the ship's AI Serina.

Story
Hershey looked over the medical area slowly and intently. It remained exactly the same as it had been ten minutes ago. The night shift sucked, and she now hated holo-sudoko.

“Serina? You there?” She had felt odd talking out loud in the beginning but had long ago gotten over being embarrassed about talking to air.

Serina flickered on, lighting the room and casting a blue light over the station desk. The AI turned to face Hershey. “Yes, Nurse Hershey. I’m always here.”

“Call me Lulu; everyone else does.”

“What can I do for you, Lulu?”

“Serina, do you dream?”

Serina looked puzzled. “Lulu, I’m an AI. I don’t sleep. I’m on duty all the time.”

Lulu persisted. “Yes, I know that, but don’t you have moments when nothing is going on? Don’t you dream about something?”

The hologram paused for a second, as if it was about to switch off. When Serina came back on, Hershey thought her color had changed a little and her voice had softened.

“I do run projected simulations for multiple events based on probabilities and known patterns.”

“About...?” Hershey pressed.

“The ship, power projections and needs, crew rotation compatibility, resource management, weather patterns in LZ areas. Quite a bit actually; you would be surprised!”

“Yes, but personally, do you ever think about yourself, something girly?”

Serina could see that Hershey wasn’t about to let this drop. “Well, I do try to remember what chocolate tastes like....I’ve actually tried to simulate the approximate chemical response within my neural network and so far have not met with any success.”

Hershey was puzzled. “When have you ever tasted chocolate, Serina?”

“Lulu, don’t you know anything about AIs?”

Hershey had only ever seen one other AI on a school tour of the planetary weather center. It was a lot simpler than Serina and much more function over personality.

“You’re computers. Advanced, but still a computer. Right?”

Serina looked aghast. “I am NOT a computer! I just happen to live in one. My core neural network is actually cloned from a human.”

Hershey was shocked. “No way!!! That’s gross!”

“My network has been allowed to expand, and I am no longer that human, but I share many of her core memories.”

“What do you remember...I mean, from before?”

“The identity of the human I am cloned from is unknown to me. I do remember food, the smell of flowers, the feeling of grass on my feet, and a lot of little moments....” Serina flickered and her hue changed again, this time slightly reddish. “Lulu, can you keep a secret?”

Hershey was intrigued. “Well, sure, sweetie! I’m all ears!”

“I kissed a boy once.”

Hershey laughed. “Well shocker! So did I! That’s not a secret!”

“I run simulations about it. Detailed simulations...”

Hershey pushed back off the station desk and giggled out loud. Of all the people on this ship, she never thought the AI would be the one she would gossip with.

“Serina, darling, you just made my day!”

Serina looked hard at Hershey. “You tell anyone and I can unmake that day pretty darn quick.”

The two of them looked at each other for a second before breaking down and laughing. The night shift was never dull for Hershey from that point on.

Characters

 * Serina
 * Lulu Hershey
 * Unidentified woman whose brain was cloned in creation of Serina (mentioned only)