Halo: The Fall of Reach

A book for stupid communist niggers Douchebag halo fans buy the book only because they like the overated games except they never actually read it because there fucking illiterate idiots that spend all there time playing halo so people like me can spend the entire day editing halopedia to make fun of them anyway heres the plot so you dont have to read the peice of crap

Old Testament: halo creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Gravemind pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her " Apple or GTFO"(cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the former and then her and her fuck buddy Adam get b& from Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious fucking incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains a lot, really).

Then later, Halo gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis; Halo Lol'd.

Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about Halo for him to fap to.

New Testament: Halo finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday Halo gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some CP.

Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.

After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.

THE END

Overall the book sucks seriously read harry potter its better.