Halopedia:Warz/2-25-2007

Introduction
Gears of War - Execution @ Gridlock

C.O.G. v. Locust Horde - 5-0, C.O.G.

C.O.G.
 * RelentlessRecusant - I ♥ Chainsaw
 * Darth tader - RR's right-hand man

Locust Horde
 * Caboose - Whoops.
 * Darth tader's little brother - Me muchos enjoys chocolate powder

"Hey, Relentless, I can't accept your game invite..."

- Caboose

"Caboose, you click the big green X, go to 'community', and then 'messages'. You should see it there."

- RelentlessRecusant

"Yeah, I see it, but..."

- Caboose

"What about the disk? Where's the Gears of War disk?"

- RelentlessRecusant

"Erhm...oh."

- Caboose

"Yeah, it's kinda hard to play the game without the disk, you see...unless you expect your Xbox 360 to read it off of your head. Umm, yeah."

- RelentlessRecusant

"Yeah."

- Caboose

Round 1
Garden of Blood

The C.O.G. set out confidently from their spawnpoint. Of the two C.O.G.s, Relentless is the newer, opting for the oft-labeled "noobish" Lancer Assault Rifle. ("You can't kill shit with that, man, use the shotgun", as per one of RR's previous teammates). However, since the C.O.G.s won about 9 of the last 10 games, and RR has demonstrated a near damn-magical aptitude for the chainsaw bayonet of that venerable rifle, RR stuck with his nostalgic weapon. Tader, being more experienced, was a cross-weapons specialist: preferably sniper, but shotguns, assault rifles, and even pistols worked. Just whatever was needed to riddle the enemy with lead.

The C.O.G. sprinted to sniper spawn...secured the sniper...expecting a Locust assault...to find...dun, dun, DUN! NO ONE! RR's tactical mind was confuzzled at this epiphany, and he commanded Tader (on the sniper), to sweep the nearby balconies for tangos. No sign of enemies. RR, after several seconds of inquisitive pondering, snuck into the gardens adjacent the enemy spawn point...then to have the Locust boil outta their spawn point, waltzing their hides before the C.O.G.s and their chainsaws. Too precious to resist - the Locust had made the fatal mistake of bunkering up in their spawn point for too long.

Relentless managed to blow out the knees of one of the Locust with his Lancer whilest Tader snagged a closer Locust, chainsawing it with his carbide-tipped multiple-torque blade. RR moved to take his vulnerable prey, but Tader, interceded...stealing the kill while the Locust was paralyzed, on the ground and hemmoraging. Greedy Sith Lord. =D

Round 2
Locust on the Move

It's called...let's dig out the biology texts...operant conditioning by negative reinforcement. It means that when an animal incapable of higher intuitive processes does an action repeatedly and is punished, it soon stops doing that. (erhmm...not drawing any conclusions between the Locusts and dogs. =D) Both the C.O.G. and the Locust were readied to charge the sniper spawn, as the Locust had adroitly realized their folly of over-defensiveness. Fortunately for the C.O.G., RR was prepared.

Tader's little bro was the first to emerge at the sniper spawn balcony, so Relentless kept himself on the stairs, shooting out his knees at range. After that poor little innocent dropped down, unable to make the slightest motion and bleeding out from his femorals, Caboose came up, and nailed Relentless was fire. Her problem: RR had his aim adjusted on her knees, so even though Caboose was blowing out RR's brains, she was dropping down, unable to fight, until RR's little friend the Lancer owned her knees before Caboose could claim RR's cranium.

Two quick ceremonies to behead the fell Locusts with a chainsaw, and RR had earned his pay.

Round 3
Chainsaw Fiesta!

Drinks all 'round, my friends, to witness this carnage! Both sides violently attacked the sniper spawn. RR again stood by the stairs, sniping out his opponent's knees with his Lancer. Yet, his leading tango, Tader's little bro, danced too close to him for comfort, so RR was forced to crudely rip his entrails out with the chainsaw. Problem: Caboose was right behind Tader's little bro, so that when RR chainsawed, the ramification was that he in turn was chainsawed, and then Tader chainsawed Caboose.

What about trains and chainsaws?

Round 4
Just Returning Your Call...

Of course, now Tader and the Locust had learned RR's insidious strategy. Sever an opponent's legs, so that he may not walk, before claiming his life. Lopping off a tango's head's much harder...Tader was quick to strike, voracious for glory, sprinting ahead of RR to the sniper spawn to meet...his 'lil bro! He exacted revenge on his pesky little brother by shooting down his knees...and then said "hey" to Caboose, except she had a chainsaw, and that wasn't too fun. RR, even as late as he was, was able to saw down Caboose for the final kill in this round, murdering her after she's ridded Tader of his own life.

Round 5
Whoadamn

RR, impetuous as he was, now was the faster to sprint to the sniper spawn rather than Tader. He perilously left his teammate and his cover fire in his moldy socks drawer to score the first skill, except that he'd charged too far, and ended up in his enemy's turf, mashing the B button, dancing around with Tader's brother, both trying to chainsaw each other. RR, however, did not anticipate Caboose's Lancer. If you're getting shot, the B button works not for you, and you can't thoroughly chainsaw someone. Problematic. Especially for RR, who was killed for the second (and last) time in this particular game...and by the same mode of death: by chainsaw.

It's kinda funny how everything is so similar to another, for Tader was waiting behind RR as his guts were gnawed out, with an acuminous surprise for his little brother, and exacted fitted revenge for RR on his brother. (wow...reread that and hear how unmerciful that is. =D) Next up was Caboose, and for once, Tader's proficiency with a shotgun played a role in this match.

Caboose! At close range, shotgun pwnz assault rifle, especially if you're not used to using the chainsaw!

Enough done and said. =D

C.O.G. wins, 5-0