User:SPARTAN-984/Arby 'n' the Chief

This is a complete guide to the action figure works of DigitalPh33r, including Master Chief Sucks At Halo and Arby 'n' the Chief.

Episode 1: Master Chief Sucks At Halo
A Master Chief figure comes to life and puts "Crackdown" inside Jon's Xbox 360 to play the Halo 3 Beta. As a usual standard for the series and future series *hint hint* he sucks at the game, having a later-referenced low kill/death ratio, with his deaths numbering far higher than hisn kills.

Episode 2: Master Chief Sucks At Halo 2
After watching a trailer from Halo 3 which is interrupted by a TV show filmed before a live audience, Master Chief complains that Arby taped over his home videos and asks him if he wants to play H3 Beta. He agrees, but the beta is over. He attempts to drown himself inside the toilet, but when he fails, switches to Halo 2, and eventually is booted from the server. He then surfs online and checks Bungie.net, finding the H3 release date.....

Episode 3: Master Chief Sucks At Halo 3
After watching another trailer which ends with him saying "I am Mastur Cheef lololololollololol" Master Chief plays H3 and sucks.... until he gets a lucky headshot. He then makes a montage of the depicted headshot, where Arbiter is the (sucky) cameraman.

Episode 1: Pilot Episode
After a dream where Master Chief saves a few SPARTANs and recieves one million dollars and infinite girlfriends, MC is the same sucky Halo playing action figure. Eventually, MC meets the Arbiter, who is smarter than Chief. After a long ramble on the Heroic Map Pack by Arbs, Chief turns it all into one humongous cock joke, which the Arbiter notices. Chief quickly develops a hate for the Arbiter.

Episode 2: Recon
The Chief and Arbiter discuss various issues like Bungie's reaction to the first episode and the undeserved reasons of the katana. Then the Chief makes up a plan to get Recon Armor from Bungie, which involves Han Solo, the Millenium Falcon, paratrooper ninjas, among others. The Arbiter finally sends an email to Bungie about giving them the armor (interrupted frequently by Master Chief telling Arbiter to type that he has super cancer).

Episode 3: Attitude
Bungie has given Master Chief the mystical Recon Armor and Chief shows the perm off. But then the Chief gets a big attitude though as a result, and does various mean things, culminating in the Chief flushing down Call of Duty 4. The remains of the CD clog the toilet, and the case doesn't go under. Arbiter wants to play CoD4 but the Chief, being dumb, gives Arbs a case saying "Cock of Doody 4: Modern Gayfuckstupid", which contains a cookie. Arbiter buys another copy of CoD4 and Chief is stuck unclogging the toilet.

Episode 4: Melee
After the Arbiter and Chief gripe about Forge, Arbiter challenges the Chief to a one-on-one match in Halo 3. But it doesn't last long when the Arbiter gets a kill that should have been the Chief's. They look into it on Theater and the Cheif melees first, yet is killed by the Arbiter. Chief complains about it. The Arbiter tells him about how there is no perfect melee system and then tells the Chief that there is an update that will make both die in a situation like that.

Episode 5: Martyrdom
Master Chief is downloading 500gb of porn and is attempting to make a bottle of vaseline using it. This means that H3 multiplayer is laggy, so he plays Devil May Cry 4 and Call of Duty 4.... and still sucks bad. Eventually the Arbiter cancels the download. The next day, Arbiter is playing CoD4 and notices multiplayer is laggy..... Chief is at it again!

Episode 6: Brawl
Master Chief plays Super Smash Bros. Brawl with Arbiter after a failed attempt to get at the last easter egg on Halo 3. Chief picks Samus, Arbiter picks Fox. Arbiter wins, to the dismay of Chief, who quits. Arbiter insults chief by saying he actually lasted one round before quitting.

Episode 7: Girls
After a sickening example of Master Chief playing with girls on Live, Arbiter takes it upon himsef to teach Master Chief how to talk to girls, beating him down with his bare hands if he fails. Eventually Chief successfully learns how to talk to girls properly, but ends up wasting it all in a few seconds. Cortana is introduced and Chief smacks Arbiter out of the way to woo Cortana, which properly fails.

Episode 8: Legendary
Master Chief gets the Legendary Map Pack and decides to make a map on Avalanche using the new Forge Filters. As usual, by Arbiter's and Cortana's decree, the map sucks. Chief insults females, to which Cortana picks up the recurring "frying pan" and hits Chief off of the couch.

Chief's Map

The map has all weapons and vehicles put into one place and sealed off. The map has all Forge Filters turned on. Every other big interesting object was also piled into a corner.

Episode 9: Newcomers
After playing a frustrating Halo 3 game with serious players, Chief wakes up at night because of a noise coming from another mysterious package. It is revealed to be the smart Chief, Todd, and the dumbass Brute Chieftain, Travis. Todd and Cortana fall in love, and after a chat, it is revealed Travis may be dumb, but he is smarter than the Chief.

Episode 10: Cortana
Arbiter and Travis get into an argument on playing Grand Theft Auto IV, which results in Travis taking the controller and driving Niko to a strip club. Meanwhile, Master Chief tries all sorts of plans to break Todd and Cortana up, all of which fail. He eventually tries to kill Todd.

Episode 11: Conflict, Part 1
Arbiter plays GTAIV multiplater until a dumbassed player comes on who says he has no parents and grew up on the streets (all fake). Chief begins to play and eventaully the kid takes advice from Chief and gets kicked off the Xbox for calling his dad a f*cking a$$hole. Eventually Chief charges towards Todd and Travis with a knife at nighttime.

Episode 12: Conflict, Part 2
Chief is tackled by Travis and the fight is broken up by the Arbiter and Cortana. The very next day, however, Todd and Travis are nowhere to be seen, and Cortana blames the Chief. After a short interrogation, Chief responds honest-to-God that he did not do anything. Arbiter believes him, but who did it?

Episode 13: Cold
Chief steals Jon's wallet and eventually attempts to raise change. He breaks into tears after telling Arbs he only wanted to buy Cold Storage. Arbiter replies that Cold Storage is free and is forced to explain the concept of generousity to Chief. Chief gets Cold Storage, but the next day, Cold Storage is deleted from Jon's Xbox. Arbiter thinks something wierd is going on.....

Arby 'n' the Chief: The Movie
Chief makes a bet with Arbiter that Chief cannot make a good machinima. If Chief wins, everyone has to shut up for a day. If Chief loses, then he must be nice for an entire day. After making said crappy machinima, which is hated by everyone (Travis shows it, Cortana, Arbiter, and Todd keep his spirits up) Master Chief attempts to win by pressing and holding the Refresh key for seven hours. Chief is picked up by a retarded movie producer in Los Angeles. He keeps insulting everyone back in Canada, and after making yet another crappy machinima, the producer attempts to kill him. Chief escapes in the producer's car, and the producer kills himself with his pistol. The car's gas runs out and eventually Chief gets up the nerve to walk over to Jon's house in BC, where Arbiter says Chief has a lot of nerve showing his face after what he did in LA. Chief eventually kills himself by running in front of a car. Arbiter reveals profound feeling for Chief, who wasn't really dead. After an embrace, Chief puts a sign on Arbiter's back saying "I AM GAY". Everything returns to normal.